.5 days till...

yeap.

sunday is the day.

ok ok.

keeping things slightly positive,

i've got a job interview on friday.

a legal job.

we'll see what happens.

fingers crossed.

***

by the waaay... i had this blonde moment a week ago - [while working...]

me: yes, we have baby bracelets. *notices the customer pregnant* - so its for your baby?
customer: yes it is.

me: first child?

customer: i'm having 2 girls.

me: at the same time?

customer: *looks at her mother, smiling, then repeating...* she asked if i was having my babies at the same time...

... of course, i realized the silliness of my question almost instantly, so we ended up laughing about it. *ahem*

gosh... imagine me in a court room cross examining. what a joke. lol.

.the count down begins: 13 days.

13 more days before he leaves. thats less than 2 weeks. im hopelessly standing here as my heart breaking moment approaches at full force, with no mercy.

he bid his housemates of 6 months farewell tonight. tears were exchanged, even from me. watching others say their teary goodbyes was enough to hammer me to the ground. it definitely shook my confidence in terms of my own strength to stand up when i watch him walk out of my life.

can it really be next sunday? really? i mean, already?! bloody hell its too soon. :( we've still got things on our list of to-dos. im crumbling. i am.

... and this is what i've assigned julia to do. to slap me out of these type of fogs.

*sigh*

on a funnier note, him and i were talking about how we both thought we would've broken up before this day came; but obviously it didn't happen. now we're both left thinking, "if only we did, we wouldn't be in the crapper right now."

thats funny, right? :)

ok, maybe not.

."she's such a slut" - says who?.

i dont know if every girl does this, but when you look into your past school year book, you're somehow able to point out certain girls with whom you'd attach this comment to -

"she was a bitch/slut (back then)."

it got me thinking, what exactly is it that makes a girl a bitch or slut back in those days?

upon posting that question to some of my girls, i concluded that everyone has a different reason. and here are some that came up -

1. she was a bitch because of the way she snobbishly stared down at people.

2. she was a slut because she was always throwing herself at guys.

3. she was a slut because she had gone through so many different boyfriends throughout her years in school.

4. she was a bitch because she snagged someone else's guy.

5. she was a slut because she was having sex or doing sexual things at that age (teen years).

6. she was a bitch because she spreads lots of gossip about others.

7. she was a slut because she always wore her skirt too short.

8. she was a bitch because she's always speaking her mind without caring about other's feelings.

9. she was a bitch because my best friend says so.

10. she was a bitch because she hooked up with the guy she knew i liked.

11. she was a slut because everyone knows she cheated on her boyfriend!

... and the reasons continue.

*hmm*

personally... i think its safe to conclude that, no matter what you do or how u act or who you are, like it or not, you're a bitch/slut to somebody - as per their personal definition of those words.

so, my rule (for myself) is to:

make an effort to be nice/good/respectful (in my definition) to others and myself, closest to the social norms/standards of my community; and if thats still not enough for some people, meh. i can't please everyone now, can i?

DISCLAIMER: i wasn't referring to anyone or even myself when i opened that discussion about bitches or sluts in school. :) - although others may beg to differ. :P

.the clock is ticking.

its been a while since my last post; somehow pressuring me to make this a quality post. heh.. :) tough luck.

ANYWAY... i haven't change since. still the same ol' lass who gets sucked into drama here and around.

the boyfriend is leaving in less than a month back to France. everyone i've spoken to (mostly sales assistants when im in the shop shopping for my guy) has asked me the same question, "so, are you going?" - yea. like its that simple, huh?

sigh. there's so much i wanna say/type/blog about; but i don't know where to start.

although one thing i do know is i'm trying so hard to convince myself that i will be okay when he leaves. im sure you know how it feels to feel tough one day, and ever so fragile the next. hmm...

i guess if its any consolation, its not the first time i've had to say goodbye to a boyfriend at the airport. its not the first time i had pick myself up from crumbling. its not the first time i had to feed myself with lies that "we'll see each other again"... (cuz i've honestly not seen any of the 3 guys i've sent off, even when they're just in Malaysia... let alone France!)

ANYWAY... i know people say this all the time, but i somehow feel different this time. i dont know if its because my biological clock is ticking; but i can honestly say, this time... i kinda feel like... i'm sending off a guy that i can actually see myself spending the rest of my life with... :(

... and this is when the fragile side of me takes over.

.shall we dance: movie quote.

watched "shall we dance" today, starring richard gere, susan sarandon & j.lo.

... and i thought the line in the video above should most definitely be quoted -

when asked about her take on why people get marriage, susan sarandon's character says:

" ... because we need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'. "

also, i was trying to find my favourite scene from the movie on youtube, but somehow only the foreign languaged ones popped up... [i guess it'll just have to do for now. aaand you might have to watch the whole movie to feel the gravity and emotions of this particular part of the movie... ]

ps: if you're reading this post but not seeing the video, that's cuz u're reading from my automatic facebook note update rather than my original blog post on blogger... [i'm sure there's a link to the original post somewhere.]

.ohhhh how i hateee petty arguments!.

don't u hate it when you argue with your boyfriend and then receive an sms, but then realize it ISN'T from him?!

don't u hate it when you try to make peace with him but things end up worst than you initially left it?!

don't u hate it when you have to go to bed angry at him?

... and further angry/annoyed/disappointed because you know that you can't possibly make peace with him before bed without having to suppress your true feelings about the argument?

don't you hate it when you realize things could've gone differently if you both just calmed down a little bit more and reacted or handled things better?

don't you hate it when a petty issue escalates into a blog-worthy argument, AND ruins the good day you both had together?

don't you hate it when a good day ends badly?

I DO!!! :(

.some PERSONAL asian men turn offs.

in my OWN and VERY OWN HUMBLE opinion...

... i think oriental asian guys who has nice buff looking bodies absolutely SHOULD NOT CARRY BAGS WITH COLOURFUL LITTLE TEDDY BEARS HANGING OFF THEM... because it just looks so stupid. come on! whats up with that??

some kinda trend where you try to pull off looking macho and cute both at the same time?seriously??

you've got the manly body! u've got it! its ever so rare! so work it! BE A MAN!! not a snob, but a man... be funny, be crazy, go nuts... but leave the teddies at home!

... ALSO, whats up with those big and loose round collared t-shirts? i dont mean the shirt is loose, i mean the round neck collar... that big, loose, old looking collars... its like he's been sleeping in it the night before, if not the entire weekend...

but ANYWAY...

im sorry to sound so critical. MAYBE some of these looks work for some asian men, although i bet it'd only be for the really genetically blessed ones. (ie: those with cute/hot faces to begin with, so they can dress up in ANYTHING and still look good)

and the only reason i blogged about this tonight is because i admittedly checked out some cute looking guys on the bus today, and remember thinking "hmm, some asian guys can actually look really hot"... BUT then i was thoroughly disappointed when i saw his bag with the little teddy bears. and another dude with that disgusting/unflattering collar.

perhaps its their girlfriends' way to keep girls away. a little method called "MAKE YOUR BOYFRIEND LOOK RETARDED"... well geewiz. it works!

ok. the bitchiness ends here. goodnight.

.puffy eyes mystery.

been waking up with puffy eyes lately. the kind i get when i cry myself to sleep at night. my post crying eyes. but no, i havent been crying to bed. not consciously anyway.

so why the puffiness?

whether 5 hours or 8 hours or 10 hours, my eyes still starts puffy in the morning!! it never use to be like that! :( is this a sign of aging? inner/subconscious depression? unconscious sleep-crying? hormones? WHAT?!

ON A DIFFERENT NOTE...

sheena graduated today! congratz!! so happy for her and her family!! woOhoOo!! :) [AND as always... 101082101 millions photos of the day will be posted on FB soon]

PS: ronaldo to rival brand beckham in dash for cash