September 30, 2009

.5 days till...

sunday is the day.

ok ok.
keeping things slightly positive,
i've got a job interview on friday.
a legal job.

we'll see what happens.
fingers crossed.


by the waaay... i had this blonde moment a week ago - [while working...]

me: yes, we have baby bracelets. *notices the customer pregnant* - so its for your baby?
customer: yes it is.
me: first child?
customer: i'm having 2 girls.
me: at the same time?
customer: *looks at her mother, smiling, then repeating...* she asked if i was having my babies at the same time...

... of course, i realized the silliness of my question almost instantly, so we ended up laughing about it.

gosh... imagine me in a court room cross examining. what a joke. lol.

September 22, 2009

.the count down begins: 13 days.

13 more days before he leaves. thats less than 2 weeks. im hopelessly standing here as my heart breaking moment approaches at full force, with no mercy.

he bid his housemates of 6 months farewell tonight. tears were exchanged, even from me. watching others say their teary goodbyes was enough to hammer me to the ground. it definitely shook my confidence in terms of my own strength to stand up when i watch him walk out of my life.

can it really be next sunday? really? i mean, already?! bloody hell its too soon. :( we've still got things on our list of to-dos. im crumbling. i am.

... and this is what i've assigned julia to do. to slap me out of these type of fogs.


on a funnier note, him and i were talking about how we both thought we would've broken up before this day came; but obviously it didn't happen. now we're both left thinking, "if only we did, we wouldn't be in the crapper right now."

thats funny, right? :)

ok, maybe not.

September 12, 2009

."she's such a slut" - says who?.

i dont know if every girl does this, but when you look into your past school year book, you're somehow able to point out certain girls with whom you'd attach this comment to -

"she was a bitch/slut (back then)."

it got me thinking, what exactly is it that makes a girl a bitch or slut back in those days?

upon posting that question to some of my girls, i concluded that everyone has a different reason. and here are some that came up -

1. she was a bitch because of the way she snobbishly stared down at people.
2. she was a slut because she was always throwing herself at guys.
3. she was a slut because she had gone through so many different boyfriends throughout her years in school.
4. she was a bitch because she snagged someone else's guy.
5. she was a slut because she was having sex or doing sexual things at that age (teen years).
6. she was a bitch because she spreads lots of gossip about others.
7. she was a slut because she always wore her skirt too short.
8. she was a bitch because she's always speaking her mind without caring about other's feelings.
9. she was a bitch because my best friend says so.
10. she was a bitch because she hooked up with the guy she knew i liked.
11. she was a slut because everyone knows she cheated on her boyfriend!

... and the reasons continue.


personally... i think its safe to conclude that, no matter what you do or how u act or who you are, like it or not, you're a bitch/slut to somebody - as per their personal definition of those words.

so, my rule (for myself) is to:
make an effort to be nice/good/respectful (in my definition) to others and myself, closest to the social norms/standards of my community; and if thats still not enough for some people, meh. i can't please everyone now, can i?

DISCLAIMER: i wasn't referring to anyone or even myself when i opened that discussion about bitches or sluts in school. :) - although others may beg to differ. :P

September 11, 2009

.the clock is ticking.

its been a while since my last post; somehow pressuring me to make this a quality post. heh.. :) tough luck.

ANYWAY... i haven't change since. still the same ol' lass who gets sucked into drama here and around.

the boyfriend is leaving in less than a month back to France. everyone i've spoken to (mostly sales assistants when im in the shop shopping for my guy) has asked me the same question, "so, are you going?" - yea. like its that simple, huh?

sigh. there's so much i wanna say/type/blog about; but i don't know where to start.

although one thing i do know is i'm trying so hard to convince myself that i will be okay when he leaves. im sure you know how it feels to feel tough one day, and ever so fragile the next. hmm...

i guess if its any consolation, its not the first time i've had to say goodbye to a boyfriend at the airport. its not the first time i had pick myself up from crumbling. its not the first time i had to feed myself with lies that "we'll see each other again"... (cuz i've honestly not seen any of the 3 guys i've sent off, even when they're just in Malaysia... let alone France!)

ANYWAY... i know people say this all the time, but i somehow feel different this time. i dont know if its because my biological clock is ticking; but i can honestly say, this time... i kinda feel like... i'm sending off a guy that i can actually see myself spending the rest of my life with... :(

... and this is when the fragile side of me takes over.