.a friday nite for myself.

this would've been a good horoscope reading for tonite rather than tomorrow. lol as u can see, its almost 9pm on a friday nite, and i'm home alone... by choice. :) sadly, im enjoying the quiet time more than i thought. kinda makes me wonder whether my withdrawal-symptoms have gotten worse. hmm.

anywayz, wynna called earlier. told me they met M-L at the city. yea, the dude im crushing on. sadly again, the news didnt bother me or made me wish i didnt stay home. perhaps im really gettin over him. pfft.

made myself a nice dinner tonite. roti pratha and curry. :) watched some telly, and wrote a little part of a song. another silly song, yes.

alritey, gonna drown myself in music now. new kids on the block feat. Neyo's "single". me likey. :) [but no offence, im not a fan of the mv. respect to the nkob, but... they just look older, and older men tryin to dance with a young bomb... just didnt look good, nor did it feel right. sorry! - would've much preferred them to sit back and look cool, and let neyo do the dance floor work.]

anywayyy....

it dont matter cuz ur here now

and the music ur enjoyin

so for the next couple minutes
baby imma be ur boyfriend

single - nkob feat.neyo

.superstitious-nut!.

im all for that horoscope reading.

on the career/personal development side of things however, last nite i had a dream that i was preggers. the father wasn't the issue, but it was more about me tryin to get rid of it. *im sorry to the anti-abortion people!*

but anywayz, here's what the dream apparently meant:

To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. This may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal.

anywayz, im headin out tonite. :)
laterz!

.natural or expectations?.

a young dude on the bus got up for an older lady today. i know people do it all the time, but it still warmed my heart. when 2 seats became available, he ushered his gf to come sit with him... to which he got up to let his gf slide in before taking the aisle seat beside her. :) i thought "aww" to that little gesture.

guys may roll their eyes when they read this, but personally, gender equality or not, i feel [u may obviously think otherwise] that it should come naturally to a guy to -

x. let girls sit before they do,

x. let girls take window seats while they take the aisle [on any mode of transportation],

x. let girls take the booth seat in restaurants,

x. let girls walk out before they do [in elevators, doorways, even on the bus when with their girlfriend - yes, even when she's got the window seat],

x. hold the door and open them [cars, not necessarily - but bonus if he does],

x. offer to carry bags whether heavy or not,

x. walk on the outer side when walking along a road [i know ivan does this],

x. step up to kill insects when the girl screams [eventho they're scared too],

x. be protective and concerned over the safety of the girl they're hanging out with...

ANYHOO...
was watching the bachelorette: russell and trisha in the 2nd last episode... omg. its like watching me and jason. my mouth hung open as i watched them. trisha eliminated russell after that episode. :S

ON A DIFF NOTE...
i got my letter of recommendation from the queensland law society today. its confirmed. i'm getting admitted on monday!! [ok, fingers crossed. i better not jinx it - afterall, i hav jinxed it once before!]

last but not least, hugs to sheensie for tuesday!

p.s. check out my horoscope for tomoz... hmm... ;)

interesting huh? ;)

.double life.

i need to stand up for myself more.

[im sure some friends' eyes would pop when they read that; afterall, sherlene is quite the outspoken and self righteous dominating prick, and is all about being a smartass who thinks she's always right: ouch.]

but seriously. those who knows me but doesnt know me enough, wouldnt know how certain things go down in my personal life. truth be told, i find myself getting pushed around and taken advantage of by those dearest to me alot. with them, i find it the hardest to say no.

i think the reason for this unnatural power deficiency is because i feel the need to be there for everyone who needs me, coupled with the disease (or 'ability' as optimists would call it) to think and rationalize both sides of a story a little too much; resulting in 98% of the time, i find myself too weak to dismiss my version of their story that i had filled with convincing reasons to trust them. this then leads to me submitting myself to their demands.

somehow despite my bitchy exterior with the rest of the world, (ouch again) where it matters most, i suffer the consequences of not being strong enough. and sadly, when i do rise to the occasion, i then find it necessary to punish myself by drowning in a series of guilt trips.

i dont know what will become of me if i do toughen up, but i also dont know what would happen if things continues this way. i do need a balance, but i have no idea where to start. maybe a bit of self awareness on their part wouldn't hurt?

... on a different note, this horoscope reading came in today -

... soulmate vs bedroom buddy. hmm. toughie. ;)

.all in the mixing bowl!.

watched sex and the city's movie with the girls again tonite. its finally out on DVD. now we just have to wait until the full DVD is out, as in, the one complete with the special features. :) absolutely love SATC. :) - i reckon it was better watching it the 2nd time around.

spent an afternoon with leon today. we had a plan! he was suppose to do his assignment, and i was suppose to do up my resume. we were suppose to be each other's motivation. but well, that didn't work. not at all. is anyone surprised? haha... bum + bum = some major bumming!

these few days have been filled with exes. (ok, i meant past guys in my life) as mentioned, i met up with jason the other day. two nights ago, andres gave me a nite to remember on msn. ;) then last nite, i learnt that terrence has got a new gf. tonite, i bumped into jimmy while driving home from sunnybank. ooh... not to mention the dream i had a couple of nites ago about derek, groovy and shafeeq. that was quite a scary one. hmm... the names are getting pretty overwhelming huh?

moooving on... i reckon, after the past few ex-filled days, this horoscope reading couldn't possibly have better timing:

also, this reading served as yet another reason to stand firm on the decision i made in my last post. hmmph. i am strong. i can live without it. (sheena knows what i mean)

.i control my happiness dammitttt!.

i'm in control of my happiness. yes, just have to keep repeating that.

today, my meeting turned out for the worst. it was cancelled. and due to all the time constraints, i decided to withdraw my application for admissions and postpone it to november; behind everyone else. feels good people. no, of course im not being serious, dammit. :) *haha r u confused?- sorry, i think its the first sign of me turning into a wackjob*

on the up side, this funny/awkward phone convo happened today -

melissa: hey, i was just talking to ur boyfriend. he was waiting in line for the same bus as me!

me: my boyfriend?... which one?
melissa: jason?

me: oh... hmm... u didn't know we broke up?

melissa: oh...

im guess there'll be more moments as such. apparently everyone is bumping into him on the bus. but thats fine, as long as 'everyone' isnt me. haha :)
*yea, im being a baby. so?*

- but really, i think it'd be awkward. so i would rather avoid it all together, at least for now; which i think is do-able, since i've been so engrossed in reading MX on the bus lately. i noticed, like today, my eyes never left the stupid paper until i got to my stop! (and excuse me, get ur facts right... apparently a duck's quack DOES echo!)

aanywayz, panic at the disco's concert tomorrow.
gonna have fun for sherwynna. (new blog add!)
after all, she's gonna be meeting the love of her life.
AND... she did pay for my tickets. lol

do u think it matters that i only know one song?

nine in the afternooonnn......
la la la laa the mooon........
la la la laa me soon....
ok, i give up before i offend more people.

hmm.
i guess i know what im listening to bed tonite.

xox

.to trust or not to trust?.

how much do we trust horoscopes?
o.O

xox