September 11, 2009

.the clock is ticking.

its been a while since my last post; somehow pressuring me to make this a quality post. heh.. :) tough luck.

ANYWAY... i haven't change since. still the same ol' lass who gets sucked into drama here and around.

the boyfriend is leaving in less than a month back to France. everyone i've spoken to (mostly sales assistants when im in the shop shopping for my guy) has asked me the same question, "so, are you going?" - yea. like its that simple, huh?

sigh. there's so much i wanna say/type/blog about; but i don't know where to start.

although one thing i do know is i'm trying so hard to convince myself that i will be okay when he leaves. im sure you know how it feels to feel tough one day, and ever so fragile the next. hmm...

i guess if its any consolation, its not the first time i've had to say goodbye to a boyfriend at the airport. its not the first time i had pick myself up from crumbling. its not the first time i had to feed myself with lies that "we'll see each other again"... (cuz i've honestly not seen any of the 3 guys i've sent off, even when they're just in Malaysia... let alone France!)

ANYWAY... i know people say this all the time, but i somehow feel different this time. i dont know if its because my biological clock is ticking; but i can honestly say, this time... i kinda feel like... i'm sending off a guy that i can actually see myself spending the rest of my life with... :(

... and this is when the fragile side of me takes over.

1 comment:

nanda said...

i just want to hugs u!!!!