.PMS exist.

Im PMS-ing.
And trust me...
It isn't an excuse.
Girls do "suffer" from PMS.
(and sorry if that makes the guys suffer too)

But hey,
DO guys know what PMS really means?
(or how it works?)

It's not when the girl is having their period.
(although when they ARE having their period,
they're not very nice too)

... Then again,
there are girls that gets really horny when they're having their period.
heHhee...
I guess you always crave for things more when u know u can't have it.
We're only human.

BUT ANYWAY...
PMS occurs about a week before a girl's period is due.
For example,
My period is due on the 29th...
Which IS WHY IM SO FRIGGIN' MOODY RIGHT NOW.

I get irritated soOoo easily!
One moment Im fine...
The next I wanna bite your head off!
(Ivan, not THAT head)

By the way,
Not only we get irritated...
But at these times,
We become extra sensitive too.
And we tend to think ALOT...
About our feelings,
About someone we don't like,
About small annoying things that usually never bugs us.

So yea...
This isn't an excuse,
But CURRENTLY,
Im very bugged out about something!

.the guys (part 1).

Just had a sudden urge to do this.
But first I'd like to say,
This is not meant to offend anyone.
Im just... blabbling.

So...
I was gonna write 5 random things that comes to mind about
each of the guys I'll be listing below.
and the 5 things must be the first things that comes to mind.
Well..
Here goes:

Ivan Lean

1. Knows too much about me.
2. Is always there when I need him.
3. Smart ass.
4. Creepy big smile.
5. Flower picker. (its an inside thing)

Groovy

1. Yahoo restaurant, where we always dine.
2. Has a cheeky smile.
3. Doesn't hug me enough.
4. Could be a great dancing partner,
IF only I can get him to dance.
5. Makes me smile when I think of him.

Shaz

1. Realllyy loyal to friends. (too loyal sometimes)
2. My inspiration to write music.
3. Someone who'd go out of his way to help others.
4. Doesnt love himself enough.
5. Ice-skating.

James Lee

1. Expressionless. (he probably saw this coming)
2. Looks blur, but isn't.
3. Bad in directions... Big W (haha)
4. I enjoy his choice of music.
5. My messed-up-body-clock buddy.

Carlo Garces

1. My ultimate crush. (non-celebrity)
2. The first to show me the dark side during my teenage years.
3. A stud-muffin... Cool on the outside,
but a true sweety on the inside.
4. Having funny and really crappy (good crappy) MSN chats,
that makes me laugh, cry, and blush all at the same time.
5. Reminds me of Bon Jovi.

J (Jon Chng)

1. Manchester United.
2. Craaaazzzyy long conversations on the phone.
3. Has a way of making me smile everytime.
4. Sings 'twinkle twinkle little star' reaaally badly!
(haha in his defence, he wasn't really putting his heart into it.)
5. Sweet. Reli sweet.

Mahfuz

1. My first love.
2. Cowwies and Goaties... *sigh*
3. Its been 5 years since I last saw him.
4. Would reli like to see him again.
5. My broken heart.

Kelvin Chee

1. Primary six, behind the school canteen.
2. Upper-star and tattoos.
3. 25 kisses.
4. Meeting him again, and noticing the piercing below his lip.
5. Fun to flirt with.

Chris Kia

1. Love letters.
2. Micheal Learns To Rock's 25 minutes.
3. Wondering if he kept my ridiculous photos from Primary sch.
4. Him throwing his sandwich's salad at me.
5. He's so cutee...

Cristiano Ronaldo

1. Ever so talented!
2. Blooody bloooody hot.
3. Makes any shirt, bad, shoe, glasses, jeans.. etc... look amazing!
4. I wanna learn to speak his language.
5. GOD.

Wayne Rozario

1. Kawasaki Ninja motorbike.
2. Mount Coot-Tha and our date.
3. Carrying up the stairs.
4. Us, out the backyard, under the moon.
5. ... he's still getting hotter.

Emyne Ng

1. My 'LeNnie' star at the International Star Registry.
2. Summer Catch.
3. Awesome listener.
4. My McDonalds buddy.
5. A true friend.

Mouzam Mosheen

1. Promised to bring me clubbing.
2. He's got a grin that makes him look really mysterious.
(in an oh-so-hot way)
3. Makes me weak in the knees when he plays pool.
4. Looks even hotter in a cap.
5. He's gonna be a pro-footballer,
and will someday introduce me to Ronaldo.

- Ok...
Im getting tired.
and I need to study.

.spoilt little girl.

Im a spoilt person.

Last nite (or morning),
I was chatting with James...
We were rambling on and on about our food cravings.
We both wanted Roti Canai / Paratha.
AND
I also wanted donuts.

So this morning,
I woke up,
Got dressed,
and walked to the shoppingtown opposite my place,
and bought 6 donuts.
I ate 3 for brunch.

At nite,
I made Groovy bring me to an Indian restaurant.
Luckily, he was craving for curry as well!
So I managed to eat my parathaa...
muaHhahaa...

See?
When I want something,
I GET IT.

HAHAHA...
JOKING.
*blush*

Im not THAT spoilt..................... *grins*

By the way,
why cant I pull off the "Blue Eyes"??!

.advance australia fair.

Guess what I've been doing for the past 20 minutes?
*hides face behind hands*

I've been singing Australia's National Anthem!
*prepares to be smacked*

You see...
I've been on youtube.com for too long!
And I came across Anthony Callea and Ricki-Lee,
(while searching for performances by participants of Aus Idol season 2)
both singing the anthem!!

They both sound good ler...
Check it out before you judge me!




Riteee?

Now here's the lyrics if u wanna sing along too!
*hahahHHHaaa*

Australians all let us rejoice,
For we are young and free;
We've golden soil and wealth for toil;
Our home is girt by sea;
Our land abounds in nature's gifts
Of beauty rich and rare;

In history's page, let every stage
Advance Australia Fair.
In joyful strains then let us sing,
Advance Australia Fair.

ok wait...
Lets make this less controversial.
So here, Let me show u where my heart is: (^^)

center>

.idol's bobby flynn: a true artist.

I've been trying to watch Australian Idol this season.

Trying means:
1) want so badly to watch it; but
2) it clashes with my working time; therefore
3) i dont get to watch it as much as i wud like to.

BUT...

Eversince one particular audition when Bobby Flynn came into my life,
*hahahaa... I love my dramaticness*
I knew Idol would be different this year.

He's special.
Very much different.
And very bloody talented in his own way.

He's not oh-wow looking...
and most people wouldn't think he's hot,
But honestly,
watching him sing made me see him differently.

In fact,
I begin noticing how beautiful his eyes are.
Its soooo full of soul,
I can feel myself drowing in them.
and that voice...
oH-wow...

Too bad.
Last week.
Australia was a dumbass.
and Idol lost him.
*sigh*

Watch his "touchdown" performance here:

Bobby Flynn's Touchdown Performance

Bobby's Audition (singing his orginal song - *heart melting*)
- also the day Bobby stole my heart:

Bobby Flynn's Audition

.my fav disney cartoon.

I just watched "The New World" today.
(I think thats what its called)

Its basically the "Real life" story of Pocahontas.
It was oooookay.
But I personally loved the disney cartoon version much better.
heHhee...

In fact,
Thats actually my faaaavourite disney cartoon.
heHee...
Odd enuff,
For such a pro-lovey-dovey person like me,
I chosed as my favourite disney cartoon,
one of the few stories that didn't end 'happily ever after'.
*sigh*

Maybe its a sign.

But yea... I loved Pocahontas.

Hmm...
I'm currently listening to:
Sixpence Non The Richer's version of "Don't dream its over".

Suddenly I cant wait till James get married.
I wanna showcase my singing. ^^
Hmm...
Maybe Ivan wont mind me singing at his wedding too.
ooH... and my GSG...
Thats 6 weddings...
woOoo...

.my sunday guy.

Just before my supervisor and I closed the shop tonite,
A bunch of guys walked up to buy gelato.
Among them were a couple of guys who use to come every Sunday night.
I particularly remember one of them,
Not only becuz he was the cutest,
But also because he had to taste almost every single flavour before deciding!

Tonite when he came,
We chat a little...
He asked if I worked every night,
And I said no...
Usually Sunday nights,
But this Monday night was an extra.

And when his friends started teasing him about me,
I told them, "Yea, he's my Sunday guy."
I guess that started the whole thing...
His friends started making comments,
and getting all funny and etc...
And I didn't make things better,
cuz I was shooting them back with sarcastic remarks and etc.
(I wouldnt really call it flirting... *ehem*)

In a way, it was annoying becuz if not for them,
We could have bloody closed the shop already!
BUT on the other hand,
they were fun.

Not to mention,
At the end,
When he left tips,
he specifically pointed to me,
Looked me in the eye, and said,
"This is for You."

ooH...
When he said that with those sparking eyes,
I had to mentally calm myself to prevent an embarrassing blush.

You see...
He's got really beautiful eyes.
Loooong lashes... and sparkly...
And he's quite tan.
I cant put my finger on what race he is...
But he reminds me of dudes like Jay Hernandez.
So you can imagine...
He's hot.

aaah...
My Sunday guy.

Ok. Now I can blush.

.my RYP.

Do you think the word "Panties" sound stupid?

Cuz I feel that there are many stupid-sounding words out there,
and Panties is definitely one of them.
BUT ANYWAY...

I've got this red and yellow P...
from herein known as my RYP,
that I feel is my Manchester United lucky charm.

Not only becuz the colour matches...
But also becuz.........

...hmmm....
Suddenly this doesnt really seem like an appropriate thing to blog about.

.constantly switching?.

Both Yesterday and Today,
I've been placed in the position,
where a question is asked...
and Im forced to answer that question,
which would only reflect one thing:

"She's always changing boyfriends."

*sigh*

Yesterday,
My ex housemate (Julie) called.
She said,
"eeeei... new boyfriend ahh?"...
Cuz the last time I saw her,
I was still kinda with Shaz.

Then today,
I met Joe...
Joe is a Hong Kong friend I've had since foundation.
He introduced me to his girlfriend,
and referred to me as:
"My friend's girlfriend."

Then I went...
"aaah?"...
And he said, "no?"
And I said...
"ooH... shaz issit? umm... no more liao."
*blush*
Then he said,
"OoH okaay... So are u seeing anyone now?"...
And I said,
"umM... yea."

*sigh*
HONESTLY,
I dont change boyfriends as often as it seems!!
There are periods where I stay/remain singlee!!
It's just...
Some people dont bump into me during those periods of my life!
So Unfair!!

*blush*
(All this explaining ain't doing me any good, isnt it?)

But anywayz,
Today I was chatting with Mouzam.
Suddenly we started talking about what happened 3 years ago.
*ehem*... You know... :)
heHee...
Can't believe it's been 3 years since then!!

But it was fun to talk back about it.
How we use to play pool,
and how I've always been attracted to him playing pool.
HAHA...
Girls, you have to trust me.
When he's playin' pool...
His "hot-points" goes up even higher!!


Anyway...
Mouzam and I are totally fine now...
Yea, we still flirt, I still find him hot and etc,
But thats about it.
We both know that whatever happens,
We're friends.
And thats exactly how we both want it.
Its fun that way.

But ANYWAY...
(whoa... I've been using lots of "but(s)")
Im not really as flower-hearted as it looks rite?

Tomorrow...
Groovy and I have officially been together for 3 months.
That's got to mean something rite?

*hopeful*

.blue, yellow and red.

Reminder to myself:

Everyone should be able to relate to this.
This is a typical scenario involving BLUE, YELLOW and RED.


Well..
Have u ever been in situations where a friend comes to u when they're upset,
(sometimes not obviously upset,
but they're perhaps "bothered" nonetheless)
And they start telling u things...

Then... as the 3rd party in the situation your friend tells you about,
You're able to be the rational one.
As in,
You try to consider both sides,
and come up with reasons why so-and-so happened.

Then...
You tell your friend what u think.
(wrong move #1)

She/He gets even more pissed.
And slowly,
The conversation takes an odd turn,
Making it become a problem between You and Him/Her.
She/He starts attacking you personally.
(at least thats what you'd naturally feel like they're doing)
And what you do..?
You get all worked up,
and pissed in return!
(wrong move #2)


So basically you're BLUE, and they're RED.

But ITS NORMAL.

Ok... from there it gets tricky.
Well...
What happens then is you walk away,
and you find another friend to confide in. (Yellow)




And YELLOW, being the 3rd party would start evaluating the situation from both sides.
And this is where the problem is usually resolved.
(or should be resolved)
Cuz this yellow would reason with you (BLUE),
Gently reminding you that it started with the 1st person (RED) being pissed.
And the only reason why RED pissed u off,
Is becuz they're pissed.
And ULTRA-SENSITIVE when you guys had the talk.

And basically,
When a person is Ultra-Sensitive,
They dont think rationally.

Everything you say to them which isn't a sign of you agreeing to what they're saying would feel like an insult or an attack or a means to tell them that they're wrong.
It doesn't matter if you're being reasonable.
Therefore if you're not telling them they're right,
or that you feel sorry for them,
You're better off not saying anything!
Because it wont help.

Thats what I need to remind myself.

Some people, when they're upset, they just need others to listen.
So if you dont agree with what they said or did or think,
Bite your tongue and leave your comments for another time.
For now,
Focus on the fact that your friend is upset,
and You need to be there for them.
And there's only one way to do that:
"Stand on their side!"


(Its not even necessary to say anything,
so dont worry about being a hypocrit.)

So yea,
After tonite,
I'd say:

"Lesson Learnt."

(altho I cant promise that the next time this happens,
I'd be able to so quickly rationalise my behaviour and responce.)
*sigh*
I guess thats why there's always a need for YELLOW.

.a chat with manny.

Im at the lab right now.
Just bumped into Emmanuel,
and we had a funny chat.

That doofus is really playful!
We talked about how I can get my Australian PR hassle-free.
And how?
MARRY HIM.

*lol*
Then he started asking me how much he'd have to pay my parents.
And we evaluated my worth,
Considering I've got a clean sheet,
a degree and I've never been a prostitute.
muaHhahaa...

And he's pretty happy with the Aus-Msia currency exchange rate.
Cuz if Im worked out to be worth a million ringgit,
He'll only have to chuck out half a million Aussie.
*lol*

And I'm getting alot out of this bargain too.
He's got dual citizenship, both Aus and Greek.
He said I'd be able to get it too!

haHaa...
Maybe this isnt such a bad plan afterall.

^^

*lol*
see how studying law can mess up people?

.what i dont wanna feel.

I know I want to write something...
But I can't seem to put it in words.
This feeling...
Its really confusing.
And embarrassing.
And I truly dont know what I want...
and how I'd like to go about with it.

It's not a very attractive feeling to have.
It's not a feeling he'd want me to feel either.
But I can't help feeling it...
With every word he says...
*sigh*

It makes me feel so helpless.
I dont know what to do to make myself feel better,
and I dont know how to tell him to stop inflicting this on me.
I feel so weak...
So tempted to listen to the worst side of me,
and give up.
Telling myself,
"I dont need this."

*sigh*

Yes.
It is jealousy.
Thats what Im feeling.

.my love language.

Got this off James' blog.
I thought it could be useful to find out what I see as the most important factor when Im in a relationship.

My results:

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Physical Touch
with a secondary love language being
Words of Affirmation.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch:		11
Words of Affirmation:		7
Acts of Service:		6
Quality Time:		5
Receiving Gifts:		1

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

^^
Nowonder the relationships I get into can never survive Long Distance.

."can i help you with anything else?".

I felt something odd while I was working tonite.

Like all Sundays,
It was a busy night.
And almost towards the end of my shift,
A bunch of young people (about my age) came to buy gelato.

While they were busy ordering,
I carried a dessert crepe out to one of the tables.
As I was making my way back,
One girl (from the bunch) stopped me and said:
"can u clean those tables?"

And of course,
I replied, "Sure."

But it was at that moment when I really felt like a worker.
As in... u knoww.... a worker.

sigh.
I cant put in words how I felt.
It just felt weird.

Its like,
when you go to a restaurant,
You dont really think of the person who carries your food or takes your plates away.
Cuz they're just... Not important.
Close to non-existence, until u need something.

Its like...
You're treated like u're nobody.
You're just someone to clean messes.
Someone who doesn't matter...

ok ok...
I guess you can say I felt like a maid.
Hmm...
Thats stretching it a bit,
But it's something like that.

I KNOW thats my job.
Im not complaining.
I'm just saying...
After working there for so long,
For the first time...
I actually felt like a... nobody.

"Clean my table."
"Take this away."

Hmm...
Maybe it's becuz they were having lots of fun,
and I was jealous.
HAHAA...

But yea,
I just thought I'd write this down,
Becuz I didn't know that all this while...
I've always seen myself as "the girl who serves gelato."
Not one who gets ordered by random people to do/clean/fix things.
(my boss is not counted)

Hmmm...
Its okie if you think I'm being paranoid,
Or that I sound like a spoilt brat,
I'm just trying to share this feeling.

.beautiful music.

My current favourite song: I Sing For You
Performed by: Daniel Letterle
OST: Camp (2003)

I sing for you and only you
Wherever I go I find you
You’re in the sound of every hello
In everything I do
You’re the song I was destined to know
And I only sing for you

You went away. I should have known
You leave so many dreams behind you
Thought I’d be fine just being alone
I didn’t have a clue
But my heart had a mind of its own
And would only sing for you

You’re in the sound of the rain
Clouds in a winter sky
In a thousand unsaid words
In a thousand crazy reasons why
You were meant to fly

So fly for me and day by day
I’ll keep hoping your heart reminds you
Nothing but love can stand in our way
But love can see us through
Maybe that’s all I wanted to say
I will always sing for you
I will always sing for you

*sigh*
a very simple,
but very beautiful song...

.my DVD marathon.

Yesterday,
I went to bed at 8am.
I was up watching DVDs.
I managed to watch 3 in total.

All 3 were great.

One of them,
"Head over heels"
Starring Freddie Prinze Jr and Monica Potter,
That one I've actually watched before...
But I borrowed it from Blockbuster again cuz I saw the DVD on Big W's catalouge,
and its on sale!!
I've decided to get it.
HAHA...

Then I watched "Camp".
This movie was different.
BUT I kinda enjoyed it..
Maybe its becuz of the music.

I totally fell for Daniel Letterle when he started singing a song called
"I sing for you"...
He's no professional singer,
But the simplicity of the song bought my heart.
aaand...
Maybe it sounded extra good becuz of him.
*ehem ehem*
U knoww...
Its a gurl thing. ^^



THEN I watched "The Cutting Edge: Going for the Gold"
This was a sequel from 'The Cutting Edge'.
I've never watched the first one,
But I know it was about the parents of the girl in this 2nd one.

And the sweet bit was,
They actually casted the original parents.

I loved this movie the most among the 3.
It was great...
Loveddd the love story.
Loved the characters...
Loved the guy. HAHA...





Tip to directors:
A charming leading man can never go wrong!!

.a question for bloggers.

Do u sometimes think of something,
Or happen to learn something,
Or noticed something,
And you make a mental note to yourself, saying:

"Im gonna write this in my blog."

But when you finally get in front of a comp,
and is all ready to type a new entry...
You go blank?

(.Thats my current state. Sigh.)

.mariah carey's glitter.

Last nite,
I took a break after hours of working on my assignment!
I spent 100 minutes watching Mariah Carey's "Glitter".

I know it's quite an old movie,
But I never got to watch it.
Heard people dissing it though.

After watching it,
My comment...
Well...
They're right about MC not being able to act.
There were many scene where she could have put on better expressions and etc.
And I didn't really feel her during the climax of the movie.

BUT...
She was cute,
I enjoyed listening to her voice,
She truly has an awesome one-in-a-million type of voice!
(although the songs were not too impressive
- except "never too far" of course)
But most of all,
I enjoyed the story.

It had a touching love story,
and a realistic touch to the life in the music business.
At least thats what I could imagine happening.
I enjoyed watching the life of a rising star...
How they grow and change...
How they try to manage their love life,
and cope with a shadowed boyfriend...
How they compose and record music...
How music can bring two people together...

But yea..
All in all,
I enjoyed it.
MC could have acted better,
But it was a good effort on her first try in acting.

*thumbs up*

btw,
GUYS... BE WARNED.
This is 100% a Chick Flick.

.girls love attention.

Admit it gurls...
We all love some attention, don't we?
Whether we're single or taken...
When guys turn their heads when we walk by,
We feel great. ^^

Well I recently noticed how powerful 'cleavage' can be.
Im not calling any guys perverts or anything,
Cuz it's natural to want to look.
Even I look. (no... Im not gay)
And hey,
The best thing about the cleavage power is,
You dont even have to be pretty.
(I suppose thats why it works for me)

All you need is a top with a low neckline.
The top can be as simple as a spegetti strap top,
and you're ready to go!
(dont wear anything too slutty,
unless thats the look you're trying to achieve)
I personally think,
The simpler the better...
Makes it look like you're not even trying.

ooH...
and of course,
You'll need a bra that can squish u up a little bit.

But be warned!
The downside of all this is that you may attract some not so attractive attention.
I'm not saying the guy are unattractive,
But I'm referring to the guys who "Stares"...
Im serious!
SOme guys just stands there and stare at your boobs!
Especially at bus stops and when you're in the bus!!
NO SHAME!!

SO yeaa...
If you dont mind that,
Block those no-shame weirdos out,
and walk out there to turn some heads!
ooH... and if possible,
Put on some heels.
They shud be our best friends...

ooH... and one more thing,
When you do turn heads,
Dont get all stuck up,
and start showing your "I-know-Im-so-pretty" face...
Guys get turned off when girls walk around thinking they're so bloody cute.
Just try to keep a neutral look,
DONT smile at the "starers"...!!
It'll make them come up and start lame-arse convos with you,
when all they're thinking of is you, Naked.
(very stereotypical of me... but most of the times, it's true!!)

But anyway,
5 seconds of attention from random guys everywhere you walk..
Not too bad rite?
After all,
Every girls deserve to know that some guys out there (other than their boyfriend)still thinks they're hot.

By the way,
This was the top I wore today:
(I wonder what you'd notice first)

.mahfuz mat yaacob.

The guy who use to be Mine.

I've been thinking about Mahfuz alot lately.
I can't believe it's been 5 years since I last saw him.
He was my every heartbeat when I was 16...
The guy I call my First Love.

*warm and fuzzY*


























I suddenly felt the urge to find him...
To find out how he's doing and what he's up to.

I did a search of his name on Yahoo.
Found a webbie his classmate in Ipoh made up.
There was a class picture.
And yes,
There he was...
Standing there,
Looking goofy as always.

It made my heart sore.
I really do miss him.
And I really do look forward to the day when I get to see him again.
I wonder how that would be.

I always imagine it to be really sweet.
Both of us would take one look at each other,
and recall the wonderful times we shared,
and regretting all the dreams we never got to fulfil.

Then again,
I'm probably the only person who thinks of it that way.
I'm guessing that to him,
I'm just "one of the girls" he use to date.

But I guess that doesn't matter,
Cuz all I know is that...
Mahfuz left a permanent footprint in my heart.
And he'll always mean alot to me.

I just wish we had better closure.
So that everytime he comes to mind,
I dont have to always think of "What If"...

Maybe if we had better closure,
My heart would finally heal...
And It'll release me from all that pain,
And finally allow me to truly love again?

*YES. I AM A DRAMA QUEEN.*

.sigh.

I think SUmmer is here.
How do I know?

The friggin' cockroaches and spiders are coming out.

ARGH!!!

Sigh.
I miss daddy. :(

(that has nothing to do with summer,
roaches or spiders. I just miss him)

Sigh.
I'm unhappy at work.
I dont mind being bitched about,
But I hate being bitched at.

Sigh.
Assigmment due on Thursday.
I've not started...
Im so dead.
Where did my holiday go?!
It's Monday already?!?!!?!