.someone stole my baby.

oooH...
im so jealous.
its bitter sweet, cuz she's with my ronaldo, but at the same time, i can't deny how cute they look together!!

well, at least i know ronnie boy isnt too upset about losing to germany; also good to know he's in good (and hot) hands. ;) Nereida Gallardo... u're one lucky babe. i want one day in your shoesss... or in this case, your bikini?

anywayz,
me up with derek and sherwynna now.
waiting for 8am, so we can drive to the airport to send D off. :( me and him, having a little jamming session now. singing some avril lavigne and hoobastank. - still stinking from our nite out, in attempt to paint the town red. :) feels like the town painted (or rather, killed) me instead.

gonna miss him. he's such a poo-head for only staying 3 days. (with me working full time 2/3 days)... wish he had more time to catch up. so much to say, so much to catch up on. and u guys suck for grouping up in kk without me!! :(

love you guys tho!
always!!

xox

.i'll say it again; don't like it.

life is becoming very routine.
don't like it.

im all busy again.
u know... the too-busy-to-blog type.
don't like it.

i've been feeling overly tired lately.
not enuff sleep perhaps?
or too much happening?
i dont know... but...
don't like it.

this could be my permanent life from now on...
with full time work and real life stress.
don't like it.
really don't like it.

disclaimer:
i might not feel this way a week from now.
so bear with me...
we are in the "pink tags" on the calendar after all.
if you know what i mean.

:(

.my eye-opening saturday.

i had the longest saturday ever. started at 7.00 am... and its now 3.40 am the next day, and im still sitting here, awake. losing my voice, but hey... in exchange for fun times, i guess its worth it. :) - besides, wynna and sheen says i sound sexy. soOo... lol

oh... all the funny and different things i saw yesterday (technically its pass midnight) made me feel like i seriously do live in a bubble. there are so many things to experience, see and learn about around brissie. music festivals, open-air free dance lessons in the city, weirdass rituals and traditions practiced by people around brisbane (or australia) that are just so... cool. :)

read about it here.

admittedly, i did feel a little out of place tryin to mingle with people that i do not usually hang around, especially when there's a large group of them, and bout 2% who looked like you. (im not being racist here.) felt like i was thrown into a scene from "the village"...

shame on me. i've been here for 5 years and i've never been to or dared to experience this side of the australian culture! suddenly this week felt like a "welcome to australia" week for me. child abusing aside, i think its pretty cool.

aaaanywayz, i'll put up pics of what im blabbling about on facebook.

all in all, i had heaps of fun!! now im inspired to see more!! soOo... here's to dragging friends out of their comfort zones and experiencing more weirdass outings and really getting to know the land down under! :)

and not forgetting,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY STAN WONGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!
i still hate you for being all the way down in NSW!!
we're gonna celebrate your birthday with that "furniture" you left at our house. but hey, good to know you have yiting there to make your birthday more special. warm winter hugs and kisses to you both!!


xox

.a question for my guy friends.

i specifically said 'friend' becuz you'll have to know me in order to give me a good response to this question. you'll see...

so... question is;
if I was your girlfriend...
and one day, in the midst of a normal phone conversation,
i said to you:

"so babe, i have a friend coming from sydney next week, from wednesday to saturday. he'll be staying at my place, and sleeping in my room with me. but on separate mattress on the floor next to my bed of course..."

you'd respond saying...?

ok ok, additional facts:
(so you can eliminate obvious responses like asking me who the guy is and yarda yarda yarda)

so theeenn... i tell you:
"he's a very good and very old friend. known him since kindy. we grew up together. nothing would happen. in fact, he asked if you would mind, and i assured him that it shouldn't be a problem."

say, you don't know this guy, and can only take my words for it.
how'd you respond?

the reason why i specifically said "I" am your girlfriend is because one guy friend pointed out that I can be harder to trust when it comes to these things?... lol really??

derek dearie,
you can still answer this. :)
and yes, im looking forward to see youuuu!!!

p.s. ... and of course girls, your views are also appreciated. :)

*lol*

.a whole new side of the world.

ok, maybe not the world, but definitely brisbane! ok, u know what... i did mean the world. ok, i'm not making sense. but i'll tell u what, work 3 days at the QLD Department of Child Safety and you'll get what i mean.

name: sherlene lee

matter: work placement; legal sector

location: department of child safety, qld

duration: 5 weeks; starting 16 June 2008
completed: 3 days (only)

essentially:

what im tryin to say is, the amount of perverts out there are crazy! imagine if you're living with such a pervert! AND the pervert happens to be your own parents?!... would you rather grow up with parents who does not treat you like their children but more of a punching bag/sex toy; or would you rather grow up with the government department and never really knowing your parents?

omg omg omg. admittedly, i've never given this side of the world much thought or attention; but 3 days is sufficient to show me how bad it can be for some people.

i've got to say, this job has really made me feel... weird. suddenly now when i walk out the streets, i feel more aware of the children around me. i ask myself, "do these children know how lucky they are to have parents who cuddles them, and buys them things, and feeds them, and care for them?"... "do they know how lucky they are when their parents would cry when they fall sick?"... "do they know how many kids out there wishes to be in their shoes?"...

sigh. i always knew the world wasn't as clean as what i see every day of my life; but... seeing THIS SIDE upclose... whoa. talk about eye opening!

hmmm. suddenly, i feel so lucky.

ooh... also, ever since starting this job, i somehow feel less trusting of people. usually i wouldn't budge when a guy wolf-whistles in my direction on the streets, but now... i just wanna glare at them and tell them to shove it. pervs!!

it could be my pessimism talking again, but suddenly, everyone, strangers in particular, male or female, are appearing to me as bad people, or rather 'possible' bad people. you just cant trust them anymore. and looks are deceiving; no kidding.

*confused*

.when do you become the bad guy?.

im not talking about the distinction between killing a person and giving to the needy. i'm talking about the smaller things... like, for example, you are blessed to have a car. you own a car, and you are in the position to help other's out.

help = you have the means to...

1. drive people to places they cant go to by public transport;

2. help people transport big items of goods that cant be transported by hand + public transport;

3. help people drive heavy groceries home;

4. drive people home at nite when its late and scary and cold out;

5. etc.

we all know that being able to be there to help others for the above makes you a good guy... but what happens when -

1. you have prior engagements and you can't be at two places at once?;

2. you've promised to do the above, but people change their plans on you, without informing you because they assume your whereabouts, and that puts you in a less comfortable position to help?;

3. the situation is as simple as you not being in the mood to assist?

and let me just throw this in, how much more complicated is it when -

1. people rely on you to do the above and you know it?;

2. you feel obligated to help becuz they're your loved ones?;

3. you know that you're the only one who can help with the above?


now,

when do you become the bad guy?
which act, as listed above makes you the bad guy?

and what happens when you are able to convince yourself that you're not wrong, but you drown in guilt anyway? and if you do not feel guilty, does that make you the bad guy?

and what happens when you know you can't confront becuz you know that person can turn this against you, to make you seem like the drama queen of all this, when you know deep down, they did feel disappointed, but do not wanna admit it?

and what happens when you are forced into situations where people make you choose between family and boyfriend? say, you can either help family or boyfriend. which?

... how about if you do all the above, but you end up bitching about having to do it? does THAT make you a bad guy?

... and what if you tell yourself, "ok, just do not put yourself in the position that people will ask you for help."... now that makes you the bad guy, no?

... what if you post in your blog about something like this, and now people feel weird-out to ask you for help, does that make you a bad guy?!

im so tempted to take drastic measures.

maybe i shud give up the friggin' car.

i just hope people understands/realises that i DO wanna help, and i am TRYING MY BEST to help. i just can't ALWAYS be there eventho i have the means to... and it would be nice to not feel like i've failed someone or caused pain and suffering to a person becuz i couldn't make it that one time.

*sigh*

.cyrus' 25th year on earth.

cyrus turned 25 on the 11th june 2008.

so old already. :)

the girls decided to put together a well-thought-out-and-planned birthday.
here are the pics of what we decided to put cyrus through -

1) he started off having a sweet day with selina... lunch, bowling, dinner.

2) then... while walking home through the easement, he met ms rich&sassy and the sex.kitten, who decided to bling him up -

3) he was then directed by 4 different clue-notes to 4 different locations to collect his birthday presents, aaaand to get further propped up. :)

4) he then came home to -


:) i think we all had fun poking fun at cyrus... heHe including himself! here's everyone:

here's family

here are the girls

here are the guys

here are the lovely organizers

here are the girls again - minus cyrus

here's the newage statue of liberty :)
(red is so much hotter than that ewwiee green)

and at some point of the nite,
cyrus decided to give himself a pair of boobs.
aaaand just to prove how big his are...
he got us to line up to compare.

fun times.
definitely.

xox

.dedication; to you who deserves to be kept, boxed and always remembered.

behold.
a tower of boxes;

filled with my past.
(my past since 2003 at least)

funny how so much emotions and memories could be stored up this way.
its definitely a bitter-sweet feeling.

because i bought two new boxes today,
i decided to store away my latest ex; jimmy.
yep. the once "jimmy and sherlene" has officially been boxed away.

when doing that though,
i discovered many other things from other exes laying around my room.
all the random but memorable stuffs i've kept around me.
consciously or subconsciously... i dunno?
but last night, i decided to store them too.

and where do all the boxes go?
have a go in spotting them.
my dark corner, as some may call it.

i think it started out with one box;
and now there's six. hmm.

so... here's to the guys in my boxes;
may your lives have only become sweeter after 'us'.
i'm happy now;
and i hope you're happy too.

xox

.ugly me.

like it or not, we take ugly pics all the time.

personally, i always look like a dumbass when someone takes a candid pic of me. even when i pose for a "candid shot", i still look like a dumbass.

but at the end of the day, you know what really matters?

its whens someone takes a look at a pic of you, one that you can only describe as "ewww" despite how much you love yourself; looks up at you, smile warmly into your eyes and say...


"babe, you dont see what i see"

:) its then you know you're special.

then again, after this post, he probably thinks otherwise. lol - and yes, these arent my ugliest pics.

xox

.chillin' in the arvo.

so hard to do non-serious things when everyone is doing serious things. im so glad i dont have to go through the "exam period" anymore, though... waking up with nothing to do kinda sucks too. so sien. hmmm.

was gonna paint my nails, but it felt too weird with others around.
was gonna blog about something else, but it felt inappopriate.
was gonna read more silly articles, but i got lazy.
was gonna watch a movie, but i think i prefer sitting here...
sharing an earphone, listening to music. :)

latez.

xox

.lost my blog thoughts again.

im hooked on jason mraz.thanks to jason phoon."a beautiful mess"a song that has been repeating on my media player the whole day.good one mraz.so honest. so real. so what-every-woman-can-be.so what I have came to be.

but if thats what it takes for him to realise you're not like the rest.and realise that he needs you more than he wishes to admit;
then guess its not too bad to be his beautiful mess.
and well... to be in a mess together?



Read A Beautiful Mess lyrics

a thought:
you can watch your friend get into lousy entanglements and tell them with no hesitations, "are you crazy? why would u do that?"; but why can't you tell yourself that when its you? instead, you'd convince yourself that its different for you? funny; funny how emotions have the power to screw you over huh?

another thought:
my friend told me that he broke up with a girl becuz she was too "emo". excuse of the 21st century? sounds pretty bogus, but i know what he meant. its imaginable. people who are overly emo can really... well... annoy? irritate? suck the fun outta everything? u dont need that kinda people around.

today:
i spent almost the whole day in bed again today.

and i have a week off starting tomorrow before placement begins.

i forsee myself spending more time in bed. argh.

i wanna go somewhere. do something.

but im so broke.

guess we'll see.

and good luck to those sitting for exams!

dedication:
8 june - happy birthday my dear mahfuz. :)

xox

.me friday and saturday.

my weekend has been good. :)
friday was the last day of my legal prac at griffith.
was really sad to say goodbye to my colleagues.

22 weeks.
aww... i shall miss.

that same nite, my girls and cyrus ;) went to watch the SATC movie.
ooh did our little hearts jumped at the sight of the SATC girls again.
carrie, miranda, charlotte and samantha.
its like we know them. :)
(dont worry, no spoilers, my lips are sealed)

to show our love to them and also our true fan devotion,
we dressed up to catch the movie. :)
here are some pics from that nite!

also this week, saturday nite to be exact, we went out for a buffet dinner to celebrate nanda's birthday. her exact birth date is on the 5th. happy belated birthday nanda babeee! ;)

here was the group.


oh... and we adjourned to krispy kreme after dinner. :) i was so stuffed from the buffet, but still... how can you say no to krispy kreme rite? :S heHee...

also, 7th june 2008. remember that date. dont ask why. just do. :)

xox

.its in every single note.

you know...

when someone listens to a particular music, you can tell what they're feeling at that time. its like, the melody in itself tells a story. i recently heard a beautiful tune... even without any lyrics, i could sense that person falling in love.

... and my heart broke.

...

.highs and lows of the day.

uberly excited!! yes i am! its gonna be an awesome nite out!

cocktails and fancy dress ups!! woohoo!!

a perfect girls nite out!

and while i'm bloggin - for the third time today...

(see? the effect of waking up too early and having too many hours in a day!)

i'm gonna add these lines from a tele/convo to sum up my night:

boy: "does it mean anything if i say you are who i want?"

girl: "you mean... for now?"

--

girl: "thats me; i'm a magnet for wrong guys..."

boy: "no... i'm the right guy for you."

--

*girl was upset*

boy: "i'm holding you in my arms, ok?"

*girl closes her eyes and remembers his arms wrapped around her moments ago*

girl: "okay."

sigh.

.lousy news.

.wft?.

.awkward dreams.

fell asleep on the couch last nite. got up once at 7am before i finally crawled upstairs at 8.30am to take a shower.

had very weird dreams. ones that remained fresh and clear in my head. so weird. so real. maybe its the couch, or the living room, orrrr me. hmmm.

one dream i was peeing in a toilet made with glass walls, so really, i was peeing in public. more people started gathering around as i tried to cover myself while i pulled up my pants. i spent the rest of the dream complaining to the "person in charge of the toilet" on how silly their toilet facility was. woke up in the midst of complaining. (my dream must've got sick of me)

the dream after that was me, waking up with my hair curly and my front hair cropped really short, almost above my forehead. i then took a scissors and continued cutting my hair off. mum came into my room (i was in my old house back in KK) and didn't stop me. then i had to go to pick sherwynna at school. (St Agnes Primary School - ?!?)

I did some research on Dream Moods -

Toilet
To see a toilet in your dream, symbolizes a release of emotions or getting rid of something in your life that is useless.

Walls

To see a wall in your dream, signifies limitations. obstacles and boundaries. There is a barrier obstructing your progress. You may have been accustomed to your old habits and way of thinking.

Glass
To dream that you are looking through glass, represents your openness and non-defensiveness. Alternatively, you may be putting up an invisible emotional barrier around yourself.

Glass House

To see a glass house in your dream, signifies that flattery is likely to hurt you. To dream that you are living in a glass house, signifies the threatened loss of your reputation. Alternatively, it suggests that you are being watched.

Hair

To dream that you are cutting your hair, suggests that you are experiencing a loss in strength. You may feel that someone is trying to censor you. Alternatively, you may be reshaping your thinking or ambitions and eliminating unwanted thoughts/habits.

Scissors

To dream that you are using scissors, denotes decisiveness and control in your waking life. Alternatively, it may suggests that you need to get rid of something in your life. It also represents your ability to cut things or people out of your life.

i reckon my dreams are telling me something.

hmm.

.another step forward!!.

my 22 weeks of legal practice training at griffith uni is finally coming to and end.

from hereinon, i will have to go through 5 weeks of real life work placement; and at the end of that, i will officially be able to announce to the world that i am a fit and proper person to be admitted as a legal practitioner in Queensland, Australia. *daddy will be so proud!*

the thought is making me wanna jump outta my skin. :)

i also received great news today from linda, my supervisor. i've been offered a placement opportunity at the "Department of Child Safety". government job! :) *aweeeesome*

i'm gonna get more details on it sooon... but at this stage, what i know is, i'll be placed at the Browns Plains department, and i'll be working with social workers on children issues, mostly on domestic abuse and etc. *thrilled!!*

ooooH... and i've also been offered a by a senior at the department to take me to the courts (i think) once a week to do court work (maybe appearances) and etc. *loveeee!!* i am majorly excited and getting more and more excited by the second!

fingers crossed it'll be as great as i hope!!!
im not gonna be selfish and hope they'd offer me a permanent job,
but if they do... WEEEEEHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

*ok, need to cool down!!*

*keep hopes on a normal level. dont overhope. dont overthink.*

*hyperventilating!!*

xox

.moments.

so i have a friend who told a friend how happy her friend has been been feeling lately. apparently, these were my friend's friend's friend's exact words:

"i woke up this morning thinking about him and how we shared a cookie last nite. it made me smile."

"he looked so cute. there was a hint of blue colouring on his lips from a blue smarties on the cookie. for the first time, i didn't care that crummies were falling on my sofa."

"his eyes were slightly red from him rubbing them because he was so sleepy. but it warmed my heart to see a tiny spark in his eyes when he saw the big cookie coming at him. at that moment, i didn't know whether to laugh or wrap my arms around him."

"i brushed off little crumbs off his lips. he looked at me, without a word. it made me wanna kiss him so bad..."

xox

.weekend snooze.

i've been sleeping to much this weekend, its not funny.
yesterday alone, i spent 85% of my time in bed.
maybe even 90%.

today i got up, telling myself i'd make more of today than i did of yesterday.
sadly, my good vibes just got washed out together with the wet blanket that decided to crash upon me.
how annoying.

i think im gonna go back to bed until its time for dinner.

by the way,
here's some comic relief by sheena.
we shared a moment in the car, and this was the outcome.
i hope its not an inside joke.

.xo.