...call me Sherls ♥

.Saturday, November 28, 2009 ♥ @ 11:32 PM

.daggers to the heart.

this month's pms mood is "down"... not angry, not anxious, not psycho, not grumpy (at least not predominantly) but rather, i'm feeling very sad.

i was driving home alone tonight and started singing in the car... it was all down hill from there:

"i will cross the oceans for you... i will go and bring you the moon... i will be your hero, your strength, everything you need..."

*tears swells up* - stops singing - change song.

"boy i hear you in my dreams, i feel your whisper across the sea, i keep you with me in my heart, you make it easier when life gets hard..."

*swells* - stops - change.

"let me sleep, for when i sleep i dream that you are here... you're mine... and all my fears are left behind.."

same happens. change.

"i know its crazy but, you still can touch my heart... and after all this time... you think that i... wouldn't feel the same... but time melts into nothing... and nothing's change.... i still believe... someday you and me... will find ourselves, in love again..."

mind drifts. :(

"oceans apart... day after day... and i slowly go insane. i hear your voice on the line, but it doesn't stop the pain... if i see you next to never... how can we say forever...

... i took for granted, all the times... that i thought would last somehow... i hear the laughter, i taste the tears... but i can't get near you now...

... wherever you go, whatever you do, i will be right here waiting for you... whatever it takes, or how my heart breaks, i will be right here waiting for you...

... i wonder how we can survive... this romance... but in the end if i'm with you, i'll take the chance........."

***

okay.

one emo-while-you-clean-your-room day granted.

Labels: Emo, music, PMS

signed... ♥

lenniez'

0 Added Spices | Your Spin?

.Thursday, November 19, 2009 ♥ @ 9:58 PM

.10pm and already knackered!.

2 nights, 2 different nightmares...

the ones that shooks you and wake you up from deep sleep.

why? why all this mind-unrest? :(

now as a direct result of that,

i havent been sleeping well.

doesnt help that im doing a 48.5 hour week at work either.

my leg is killing me!

but i'm gonna focus on the dollars...

yea... eyes on the prize, gurl!!! eyes on the prizeeeee!! :)

ok, goodnight world!

Labels: Dream, Personal, Random

signed... ♥

lenniez'

1 Added Spices | Your Spin?

.Tuesday, November 17, 2009 ♥ @ 7:47 AM

.extreme my arse.

here's a recent observation that has made me realize exactly how important "moderation" is. I've noticed that when a person particularly appears to have a particular dominant trait, they end up being the worst of the exact opposite of that said trait...

it's almost like they just suddenly felt "screw this. I'm over being (insert good trait)" and suddenly decides to act out, directly conflicting with who they were before.

IMHO... those who claims they are an extremist (or tries/want to be one) of something are either in serious denial or are deep down unhappy but too proud to admit it.

here's what I mean in the most simplistic way -

the one who's the "nicest" always end up saying the nastiest things. not the "never thought she'd say something like that" type of nasty but the seriously nastiest thing. almost like they've been holding the words back in their time of being "nice" and now they don't care and is letting it all out.

others are such as -

1. the most permiscuous one ends up mindlessly falling the hardest;

2. the one who never had a comment ends up being the most judgemental one;

3. the toughest one ends up falling into depression;

4. the virgin Mary ends up becoming the slut;

5. the good kid, under "too much pressure" ends up becoming the drop out who's at the brink of an OD at the alleyway;

6. the obedient kids end up going against their parents in the most cruel/hurtful/forceful way;

of course not all of them.. but u see what I mean. people who almost forces themselves to live a certain way or be a certain way almost always end up "giving up" and heading towards the opposite direction...

is this all because we don't practice moderation or because we're in such denial of who we are because we don't admit we can't possibly live up to the expection we've set for ourselves?

I always try not to use "never"... it helps keep the conscious clean - and it helps make u look less like an idiot at the end of the day.

... by the way, while I'm on this, let's not forget the otherrr type out there. the ones who shamelessly promotes themselves as "i never judge people" and "I never talk behind someone's back" when everyone knows they do... those are seriously the ones who make me cringe the most. look in the mirror, asshole. yes, YOU. I seriously hope he reads this.

now lastly, here's MY disclaimer - I'm in no way saying any of the above doesn't apply to me. :) and if u wanna rub one in my face, I'm calling first dibs for the kettle! so u can be the pot! :) xx

ps: this is just an observation... :) don't mean any harm. except to that asshole of course :)

Labels: IMO

signed... ♥

lenniez'

0 Added Spices | Your Spin?

.Thursday, November 12, 2009 ♥ @ 11:09 PM

.random; so random - sorry!.

i miss ELN so much when i reread one of his very first sms to me saying, "take care of yourself because you're a little bit of mine now too."

...

i miss him scolding me for not replacing the roll of toilet tissue paper after using up the last one.

Labels: ELN, Past

signed... ♥

lenniez'

0 Added Spices | Your Spin?

.Wednesday, November 11, 2009 ♥ @ 9:13 PM

.my theory of the beginning of a journey.

so here's my theory of "the beginning of romance" between guys & girls -

1. guy sees girl and is attracted.

2. girl sees guy checking her out.

3. she then has the choice to:

~ return a signal of mutual interest (try a shy/slutty/fun/flattered little smile before u turn away slowly - while maintaining the smile on your face - indicating and making him feel "he made a good impact on you" - which will boost his confidence at the same time); or

~ totally give him nothing (which means "you're not my type, so please stop staring")

4. aaanyway.. upon receiving a positive response from the girl, the guy should proceed with the next step of pursuit - after all, it's true that if a guy wants u enough, HE will do something - esssspecially after u've already clearrrrly given him the green light (so be cooperative girls!)

5. ... and the rest is history :)

alternatively, if the girl sees the guy first, the only difference is that the first step becomes - girl needs to catch guy's eyes first (cuz 98% of regular guys would naturally check out any girl that he catches shooting him some attention) n then, just like that... the process starts over again :)

*Disclaimer: UNLESS the guy rules her out from the get-go... (cuz lets face it girls... we can be fab, but it happens - he's married, he's seriously in love with his partner, he's gay or... sigh, u're just not his type.)

:) hehee.. ok.. I've bullshitted enough. don't throw rotten tomatoes at me.

Labels: Guys, IMO, Relationships

signed... ♥

lenniez'

0 Added Spices | Your Spin?

.Saturday, November 07, 2009 ♥ @ 10:36 PM

.if given the choice...

was chatting with daddy about ELN today and it made me realize one thing...

despite wanting sooo much to travel to france to see him again, if given the choice, i might say no.

reason being-

if i do get to go there, even for month to see him... what then? we pick things up from where we left off, then... what? - i leave again. and once again, we're back to "i dont know when i'll ever see him again"... which will also put us back to square one in terms of trying to be okay without each other.

sigh.

i dont need more reasons to feel that this guy is perfect for me. :(

okay. time to refocus.

CAREER.

a great one too.

yes.

thats where i'm heading.

*exhale*

Labels: ELN

signed... ♥

lenniez'

0 Added Spices | Your Spin?

. ♥ @ 2:34 AM

.turn around & hide.

never actually thought of how I'd react if I saw him again. "him" being a guy I use to have a crush on and haven't seen in a while now.

well well.. lucky me. I "think" I saw him today while I was at work. my first reaction?

I turned around.. well actually, it was more like.. I "spun" around (involuntarily) as quick as a girl my size could and secretly prayed that he did not see me. I'm still praying for that now.. especially after my whole spinning trick. wasn't a pretty sight at all. sigh.

I don't know why I reacted that way.. it's not like there's anything there. I'm such an idiot. gah!

on a different note, I'm in the middle of sitting through another movie marathon. it's going to be a fun night of rom-coms, with my favourite pink robe in my arms and the rain outside. if only I had some warm cuddles to go with that. *misses my ELN again*

sigh.

anywayy.. have a nice Friday beautiful world. AND happy 24th my sweety pie Lena Soo!! xoxo

Labels: M-L, Personal, Shoutout

signed... ♥

lenniez'

3 Added Spices | Your Spin?

.Friday, November 06, 2009 ♥ @ 1:14 AM

.recommended.