October 31, 2008


im all for that horoscope reading.

on the career/personal development side of things however, last nite i had a dream that i was preggers. the father wasn't the issue, but it was more about me tryin to get rid of it. *im sorry to the anti-abortion people!*

but anywayz, here's what the dream apparently meant:

To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. This may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal.

anywayz, im headin out tonite. :)

October 30, 2008

.natural or expectations?.

a young dude on the bus got up for an older lady today. i know people do it all the time, but it still warmed my heart. when 2 seats became available, he ushered his gf to come sit with him... to which he got up to let his gf slide in before taking the aisle seat beside her. :) i thought "aww" to that little gesture.

guys may roll their eyes when they read this, but personally, gender equality or not, i feel [u may obviously think otherwise] that it should come naturally to a guy to -

x. let girls sit before they do,
x. let girls take window seats while they take the aisle [on any mode of transportation],
x. let girls take the booth seat in restaurants,
x. let girls walk out before they do [in elevators, doorways, even on the bus when with their girlfriend - yes, even when she's got the window seat],
x. hold the door and open them [cars, not necessarily - but bonus if he does],
x. offer to carry bags whether heavy or not,
x. walk on the outer side when walking along a road [i know ivan does this],
x. step up to kill insects when the girl screams [eventho they're scared too],
x. be protective and concerned over the safety of the girl they're hanging out with...
was watching the bachelorette: russell and trisha in the 2nd last episode... omg. its like watching me and jason. my mouth hung open as i watched them. trisha eliminated russell after that episode. :S

i got my letter of recommendation from the queensland law society today. its confirmed. i'm getting admitted on monday!! [ok, fingers crossed. i better not jinx it - afterall, i hav jinxed it once before!]

last but not least,
hugs to sheensie for tuesday!

p.s. check out my horoscope for tomoz... hmm... ;)

interesting huh? ;)

October 28, 2008

.jewellery gals.

we had a kings jewellers wintergarden staff gathering on tuesday night. it was at my manager, liljiana's apartment next to the brisbane river. :) awesome view. check it out -

the rent is a bomb, but u know, aside from being able to live in the city, imagine waking up to such a view every morning. perhaps its the greener grass syndrom, but i'd imagine having so much less stress being able to live around such beauty. :)

also, at the party... i experienced my first girly squeal session when one of the girls, angie, announced that she got engaged over the weekend. lol it was so cute, and so movie-like. but it was also so sweeet... we then sat down to listen to her play-by-play of what he said, how he did it, and more where, when and whats... :) [yes guys, we get ALL the details. *added pressure*]

i have to admit, i enjoyed my nite alot. a girls night + lots of wine is awesome. :)

October 27, 2008

.clearing the negatives.

*breathe out*

away with the bad and muddy aura thats clouding my blog from my previous post; time to smile and glee because the sun still shines and the night air is still crisp.

i foresee my this week to be full of expenditures. [still trying to keep the 'up' vibe, altho its already threatening to fade] - this week, i've got 2 (or maybe 3) parties, 1 birthday, and possibly another friday night out with sheensie poo. :) [mood back on a high]... the $$ spent will be worth it.

and to continue the good vibes, here's a short but ever so sweet one from gabe bondoc - [aww... sheena might be right. i really might be forming a crush on this YTS!]

ooh... look what i found of gabe and his friends! a whole different way to "jam"... [fast forward to the middle of this clip (i personally recommend 7:40 on the first vid) if you dont wanna watch the whole thing] soooo funnnn....!!

October 26, 2008

.mind vomit.

wynna just switched to the lifestyle channel on tv, and a couple is talking loudly at each other because of a difference in opinion. reminds me of phoon and i. catch on to phoon and my latest debate here if you feel like a read.

sigh. im beginning to feel... like, "pfft... whats the point?" - we all know phoon and i will never be able to agree on things unless one of us involuntarily backs down.
[and backing down only because we're just sick of it]

but all the hoohah did make me realise a couple of things that i think i've always known, but never dared or found the need to voice -

1. i may still be capable of truly allowing myself to be in a relationship, [YAY!] without holding back as much as i have during my past few relationships. i guess u can call it... a new found strength? :)
[but no worries, it doesnt mean im gonna just throw my heart at the next dude that waltz by. i shud still be capable of identifyin between a real deal and a short term - 3 months make-it or break-it period, rite?]

2. i am so blessed to have friends who have stuck by me despite all the rough and rocky roads i've took them on. i've always had my sis, my girls and ivan... they've seen me thru all my failed and dramatic break ups, and still loved me. selina has repeatedly reminded me how i have a pattern when it comes to relationships (and admittedly, i do - i do the same things to different guys all the time) and she worries for me (and the guy i date) every time... but when the guy leaves the picture, she and my other pals are always there. yes, i am a repeat offender when it comes to getting into crappy relationships, and i'm not proud of it. but it has also showed me who's truly in my life to stay.

3. experience does teach you some tricks to life and relationships; but i've also learnt that one actually needs to be facing those emotions right there and then to be able to understand how it truly feels. [and im not referring to "dont touch the kettle when the water is boiling" type of experience] remembering that you've been hurt and that it wasnt pleasant isnt the same. yes, u might have experienced it before... but it doesnt mean u're the expert. because i've also learnt that when someone wants something, they'd always find an excuse for it. some magical reason to relieve them of the guilt or just to convince them that they're not doing anything wrong. [ie: its a different person, different circumstances, or different wants/needs at that time of their lives] maybe by understanding that people tend to do that, you'd be able to understand why certain people do things you THINK you logically wouldn't do. [ie: cheating on a partner or taking someone's boyfriend] also, we all know that third parties only gets the best view because they're not driven by emotions. so sure, they can be helpful when trying to point things out that are obvious to everyone but the ones blinded by raging emotions. but who are these third parties to judge how the parties shud feel when their emotions are not string to the actual situation? well... sure~ if our feelings had an on/off button. [note sarcasm]

4. its easy to leave a relationship feeling strong, unharmed and even burdened by the other party when you're the one walking away, rather than the one being left behind. dont judge the weaker one when the only reason why you're stronger is because you gave up on the relationship first. wait for the day when u thought u have it all, and someone decides to pull the mat from right under you and there's nothing u can do about it. tell me you'll be fine by tomorrow and ready to just act like you never had all the things you wanted at the palm of your hands. tell me you wont start questioning why and how you let it slip away. and tell me you wont try to get it back when u think you may have discovered the reason for your slip up, and want to make amends. and no offence, i think if you can honestly tell me that you wont try to get it back, its only because you either never wanted it enough in the first place, you never thought u deserved it, or you're simply too proud of own up to the fact that its true.
[upon saying that, i dont mean they necessarily deserve a second chance. im merely saying their emotions have founded grounds.]

5. i find it hard to accept someone's view when they proclaim the extremes. but whats harder is when you know that person enough to know [as a fact] that they can't possibly mean it. when that happens, do you just snicker behind their backs? or do you voice it out to them? - never say never. safe to say, my sis and i share the same view on that. i can never understand how some people can be so "brave" when they say they'd never do something when, we can't possibly see what awaits us all tomorrow. oh wells.

now, as i've been taught... my blog, my rants rite?

October 25, 2008

.scattered thoughts.

been listening to gabe bondoc these few days. cant help fallin for his voice. the song he wrote, "YTS"... i cant stop replaying it. :) i posted it here a couple of posts back.

ANYHOO, have u heard of a johari and a nohari window?

my friends have been circulating their windows around. so i thought, "mm... why not?"... so, if you've got the time to be honest, it'd be an honour -

# my johari (positive traits)
# my nohari (negative traits)

(oh.. girls, im sorry, i cant do ur noharis. its too... umm... much. :P)

alrite. im working tomoz. i shud go. im not feelin too great either, im thinking its becuz United just drew their match against everton [1-1], and im annoyed. :( hmmph!

btw... ^^ to sexy smses. :)

October 24, 2008

.a little bit of this; a little bit of that.

dreamt funny last nite. friends with cristiano ronaldo. drove stan's car and broke his car's door handle (or whatever its called). tried to fix it with weird objects like a bowl. dreamt mouzam came over to my house, in malaysia. hmm. odd.

karaoke with the group today. good to see mel and MC again. :) fyin gave me a soft toy. so cute! it was a fun friday nite, altho my vocal chords didnt feel too yeeehaaa tonite.

spent almost 2 hours on the phone with phoon when i got home. (accumulatively) got into another massive debate. actually, it was more like, massive debateS. the ones we use to get stuck in the middle of when we were still going out. funny.

in the end, it wasnt quite solved... so, i guess its safe to say that this is most likely directed to me -

here, in case u cant make out the tiny words -

sigh. i need to switch my body clock back to normal. its 6am and im bloggin. dammit. no thanks to leon!

October 23, 2008

.gone are the days.

hung out with phoon almost the entire day yesterday. we talked and played music and laughed and sung. it was good. wasn't awkward, i think? - and the level of comfort was still there. it was a good feeling. :)

and well, if he's feeling brave and generous, maybe he'd post up the song we wrote together. HAHA. *hint hint* [but dont get your hopes up guys - he's a closet singer]

anywayz, i got home last nite and found this old CD from ting fung. inside held videos of my last day in all saints high school, mostly of my girls and my class, 5 Bakawali. god did i laugh my heart out! everyone looked ridiculous!! lol i cant wait to share it with the rest of the world... they'd probably hate me, but im sure they'd love it at the same time.

until i get that video edited [cuz i dont really wanna post the entire 49 minutes], enjoy this one i whole-heartedly put together of my best buddy, ivan lean -

[maybe now people will see and understand (or get more confused) as to why ivan means so much to me]

October 21, 2008

.love & music.

"i dont need a man, i dont need a man! - when you finally admit that you need him, that's love." - quote from 'three can play that game'

love huh? hmm.

[re: my previous post]
was really good. her guitarist, ben, a member of a tazzie band 'the invisible boys' was really good too. now im inspired to perform at open mic nites! will def put more effort into writing, playing and singing. :)

till then, i'll leave you with a heart warming youtube talent, gabe, [thanks for intro-ing him to me, D!] who wrote this song for his youtube crush. i think its really sweet :) -

October 20, 2008

.not alcoholics.

4 girls, 4 laptops, 1 living room + alcohol.

tonite, we're saying its to celebrate wynna's new job. congratz nani babyy!! now bottoms up gurls! ;)

oooh... tomorrow bec is performing at the royal george hotel's tuesday open mic night! its starting at 8pm. im really excited for her! and quite surprised that she's doing this outta the blue. hahaa... but anywayz, i'll be there.

do u wanna come? meet me there! :) goo beckie!!

October 19, 2008

.imparting wisdom.

a customer and i was talking today. at some point, he said -

"its amazing how when things are meant to be, it happens so naturally."

i took it as a sign. a sign telling me not to force the un-natural.

then this customer made my day. :) he took a piece of paper and wrote down the line above, telling me it would be perfect for a part of a song. his wife then proudly told me that he's a singer/songwriter. i was all wows...

he sung a few different tunes with the string of words above. right in the middle of the shop. i couldnt hide my admiration. he said he'll try developing the song and include it in the album he's planning to release. :) with credit to my shop... lol :)

he also said to me...

"music is an expression, like writers with their words."

i think so too.

October 18, 2008

.a fun-filled weekend.

derek and i attempted a mraz song, lucky. :) weehee!

derek made us all "bah kut teh" tonite. we went to his place and had a good nite with all the awesome food and dessert. thanks derekz!! it was yummerzz!!

the nite before, sheensie and i decided to have a night out. i told myself i wanted to get hammered. [altho i knew i wouldnt really let myself get to that state] so leon took us and yumi to "little jumbo", where the cocktails were yuMmmmMmm... :)

zombie. the cocktail that's out there to kill. hahaHa leon had that, and got me a modified version of it cuz i wanted a minty taste and the hot bartender was up for the make-up-your-own-drink challenge. [awesome choice leon! ^^]

i was fine after emptying my taaaall glass, plus a couple of gulps from leon's. that was until we hit "embassy" and the music oozed its way into my head. i felt like i had all the energy in the world to dance the whole nite away! :)

it was a fun nite. im definitely going back to embassy next time.

October 16, 2008

.ai mei.

"ai mei" is mandarin, typically used to describe a situation for when you silently have a crush on someone, and you can't be sure whether he feels the same for you. roughly anyway. [upon further research, the word apparently translates to 'ambiguity'. hmm.]

selina said to me today, "i've never seen u this way. you're usually very straight forward with the guys that you like." - sigh. not with this guy. i have been, but i cant anymore.

whats wrong with me? :( selina says it 'ai mei'. she tells me that its one of the best feelings. i find it a torture. selina says she's never seen me go through it, and she'd love to see me feeling this way a little longer. so much for being my best cousin. :) hmm...

曖昧 - Yang Cheng Lin

曖昧 讓人受盡委屈
據何時該前進 何時該放棄

超過了友情 還不到愛情

我很不服氣 也開始懷疑
眼前的人 是不是同一個真實的你

據何時該前進 何時該放棄

無奈我和你 寫不出結局
放遺憾的美麗 停在這裡

October 15, 2008

.her story.

Letting Us Go
by lenniez

i took the window seat at the back of the bus and pulled out my mp3 player. the bus was filling up but the seat beside me remained vacant. i was plugging in one side of my earphones when i looked up and caught my breath. my mind went into a momentary blank as a familiar pair of eyes stared back at me.

we exchanged "heys" and he took the seat next to me. i found myself unable to speak, respond or think properly as his closeness was paralyzing. small talks were soon formed, but no reference was made of anything remotely close to the idea of me and him. i did not persist, unlike the old times, when flirting was all we knew.

he got me to agree to drive him home because i had parked my car at a closer stop. rain started pouring soon after, followed by a series of unforgiving thunder and lightning.

when we got off the bus, the rain was still heavily falling over us. we sought shelter under the bus stop and took deep breaths before looking at each other and deciding to make a run to the next covers. by the fourth and last run, we scrambled into my car, slammed the doors, and found ourselves drenched.

we both soaked up tissues and laughed about the idiocracy of the situation we were in. the car was fogging up and the air was damp. it reminded me of all the times we use to get drenched under the rain together, regardless of when we had an umbrella, which was perhaps too small for the both of us anyway. i took a short breath in. he was still as gorgeous as i remembered.
i gave him the keys to my car and he drove us back to his place. the rain was pouring mercilessly. his eyes were fixed on the road. i stole moments between lightning flashes and the rumbling thunder to gazed over at him. the knot in my heart twisted. i have wanted to see him so badly before tonight. and now that i had the chance, now that he was right beside me...; i sucked in another short breath, then used the last of my energy to look away.
i've found my kryptonite.

this is the place in my heart
this is the place where
im falling apart
isnt this just where we met?
and is this the last chance
that i'll ever get?
i wish i was lonely
instead of just only
crystal and see-through
and not enough to you

'cause you dont see me
and you dont need me
and you dont love me
the way i wish you would
the way i know you could

you dont see me - josie and the pussycats

October 14, 2008

.double life.

i need to stand up for myself more.

[im sure some friends' eyes would pop when they read that; afterall, sherlene is quite the outspoken and self righteous dominating prick, and is all about being a smartass who thinks she's always right: ouch.]

but seriously. those who knows me but doesnt know me enough, wouldnt know how certain things go down in my personal life. truth be told, i find myself getting pushed around and taken advantage of by those dearest to me alot. with them, i find it the hardest to say no.

i think the reason for this unnatural power deficiency is because i feel the need to be there for everyone who needs me, coupled with the disease (or 'ability' as optimists would call it) to think and rationalize both sides of a story a little too much; resulting in 98% of the time, i find myself too weak to dismiss my version of their story that i had filled with convincing reasons to trust them. this then leads to me submitting myself to their demands.

somehow despite my bitchy exterior with the rest of the world, (ouch again) where it matters most, i suffer the consequences of not being strong enough. and sadly, when i do rise to the occasion, i then find it necessary to punish myself by drowning in a series of guilt trips.

i dont know what will become of me if i do toughen up, but i also dont know what would happen if things continues this way. i do need a balance, but i have no idea where to start. maybe a bit of self awareness on their part wouldn't hurt?

... on a different note, this horoscope reading came in today -

... soulmate vs bedroom buddy. hmm. toughie. ;)

October 13, 2008

.all in the mixing bowl!.

watched sex and the city's movie with the girls again tonite. its finally out on DVD. now we just have to wait until the full DVD is out, as in, the one complete with the special features. :) absolutely love SATC. :) - i reckon it was better watching it the 2nd time around.

spent an afternoon with leon today. we had a plan! he was suppose to do his assignment, and i was suppose to do up my resume. we were suppose to be each other's motivation. but well, that didn't work. not at all. is anyone surprised? haha... bum + bum = some major bumming!

these few days have been filled with exes. (ok, i meant past guys in my life) as mentioned, i met up with jason the other day. two nights ago, andres gave me a nite to remember on msn. ;) then last nite, i learnt that terrence has got a new gf. tonite, i bumped into jimmy while driving home from sunnybank. ooh... not to mention the dream i had a couple of nites ago about derek, groovy and shafeeq. that was quite a scary one. hmm... the names are getting pretty overwhelming huh?

moooving on... i reckon, after the past few ex-filled days, this horoscope reading couldn't possibly have better timing:

also, this reading served as yet another reason to stand firm on the decision i made in my last post. hmmph. i am strong. i can live without it. (sheena knows what i mean)

October 12, 2008

.cutting the hopeful link.

the other day, i found a slip of paper that i've stored away for over a month now. it was one of those "fortune" that had come from the baci chocolates mel bought me.

it read "love is like luck. it doesn't like to be chased."

stumbling upon it now of all times, i guess i should take it as a sign. hence, im taking a step back and ceasing all attempts to spark this link. gonna save myself from any further embarrassment. 21st centuary or not, im not gonna do all the work.

everyone knows i've tried and have fished for this fish enough; and if im smart... i really should pack my bags before i crash and burn.

besides, the ball in his court now.

p.s. my growing wisdom tooth is still tormenting me. to dentist or not to dentist, that is the question.

October 11, 2008

.tips for the gals.

mystery method:

guy asks girl, "do you want to kiss me?" - 3 expected answers:

"yes" - in which the guy would lean in and kiss her.
"maybe" - in which the guy will say, "guess we'll find out", and lean in to kiss her.
"no" - in which the guy would say "i didnt say u could. u just looked like u had something on your mind."

they call this kiss-close tactic fool proof. your thoughts?

and yea. i had some time to read more of "The Game" and thought i'd share some sleazy tactics with you gals out there, in case someone decides to game you.

despite me labelling these lines as "sleazy", im not saying they wont work. cuz u know, when u catch someone off guard, its easier to get away with things. therefore girls should be aware of this line. who knows rite?

anywayz, i met up with jason today at the greenfest at southbank. nice seeing him again. :) - good bands huh? o.O

ohhh... another thing is... my blaaardddy wisdom tooth is growing. im in soooo much pain, i had to pop panadols. and if u know me, im not one who take pain killers. :( ooooouccchhh....

October 10, 2008

.got it all wrong.

being single has given me lots of time to sit back and reflect on my past romantic encounters. some claim i have a dating pattern, u know, a pattern from when i meet the guy, to when we start dating, up till the day we cry and say goodbye.

i tried identifying it and i think i have, but i shall not list the "process" here to spare whats left of my good image.

one thing i will say however is that i think i suck at identifying healthy relationships. guess that would naturally impair my ability to form one too? funny how even when watching drama series like "one tree hill", i find myself liking brooke with felix more than anyone else...

and if ur not familiar with OTH, felix is not the best person in the world and their romance ended quite badly... but hmm, i wonder - is it because felix is hot? or is it the bad boy with the soft side that im attracted to? or is it the passion they share? or is it because felix is just sooo wonderful to brooke and i want that too?

that said, im quite sick of getting into any more blah relationships. they exhaust me, and not to mention, strengthens my "guard" against men, which will soon turn me into an iron lady with an inability to ever love again.

but haha... as u can see, at least i'd still be a drama queen. ;)

October 9, 2008

.your friendly neighbour.

today, the girls and i went around our neighbourhood, posting little notes into our neighbours' mailboxes. here's what it read -

Dear Neighbour

At 10pm on 6 October 2008, a man with tan skin, wearing a horizontal stripped shirt trespassed onto our property. At the time, our house was brightly lit and there were more than 3 people at home, but this man daringly opened and came through the side fence. We did not notice him as the compound around our house is quite dark, but this man actually dared to lean in closer to our side living area window and look in, startling one of us who was sitting directly in front of that window. He ran off as soon as one of us starting pointing and shouting at him.

Due to this, we are deeply concerned that his intention is not to rob but to attack, as he made such a weak attempt to hide himself. We are writing this to you to alert you of such incident around our neighbourhood and hope that everyone will be more aware and prone to odd noises or suspicious looking people around. The closest Police Station is at 42 Kameruka St, Calamvale. Their number is (07) 3131 7377 or call 000. We hope that together, we can increase the security around our neighbourhood.

Your Kinedana St. Neighbour

true story. :(

poor wynna. she saw the dude, and now his face is permanently imprinted in her mind. she's been sleeping in my room with me since that night. *hugs* and if u know us, this why we are always so paranoid about our safety. these things do happen. :(

so care, if you love us. :)

October 8, 2008

.awesome excuse.

i switched my 3 mobile phone plan last month from the $49 cap to the $29 cap.

figured i'd save some money. when i called three to make the switch, i knew they'd ask me why. so i prepared an excuse that'd stop any further interrogations / questions / attempts of persuasion -

. me: i just need to switch my plan back to the $29 cap. im currently on the $49, as you would know.

. three: can i know why?

. me: because my boyfriend and i just broke up, and i dont need so much credit anymore.

. three: ... ok.

:) no further word on the matter. worked, just as planned.

oh... and the money i saved has already been used on a pedi-spa. :) men wont understand, but my toes look so cute now!

October 5, 2008

.love, marriage and the whole she-bang.

worked 6 hours today and learnt quite a bit about the ladies' best friend, aka the diamond. apparently, the diamond is THE "symbol of love". its also known that the diamond's shine is the "fire" of love, and keeping the diamond shiny keeps the "fire" alive. ^^

oh, also, do u know why the wedding band is worn on the fourth finger on your left hand? :)

its because the egyptians believe the vena amoris (the vein of love) ran from the heart to the tip of that particular finger. (everybody! on 3!) *awwww* - but really, isnt that sweeet?!

if you're interested to know more about the wedding band, this should be a good start.

ANYWAY, dont worry. sherlene lee isnt thinking about marriage as yet. thats a tested and proven fact -

i tried on a half carat engagement diamond ring on my finger at work today and asked the girls at work whether they can see me with that ring on my finger. they said "actually, yess..." i looked at my finger some more and thought, "hmm... it does look pretty awesome"... seconds later, i started feeling a bit weird, only to realise it was nauseaness!! *brrrrr* - good thing i managed to control myself from swinging the $3,500 band off my finger... :)

ANYWAY, a line we were trained to tell the customers today was "she will love you forever if you gave her that gift!"... i gulped. FOREVER? - sigh. not that pretentious and fake 7 letter word again.

tell me, do i need to believe in the word before i can sell my jewellery? hmm. i hope not.

October 4, 2008

.what a bust.

my night is a bust.

for days, i was looking forward to tonight; paul's birthday karaoke party. chose my outfit, bought his gift, and even gave my song choice a couple of thoughts... only to be let down by my friends, who at the last minute decided to bail on me.

one had food poisoning, which is understandable; while the other had 101729101 reasons why she couldn't make it. (yes, sarcasm intended) i was disappointment. majorly disappointed. not only because i really wanted to go, but also because i was left feeling bad for going against my promise to attend. (against my will!)

things snow-balled when i tried to rectify the situation. i tried getting other friends to go, u know, just to accompany me so i can say happy birthday to paul, which worked out fine at first, but also fell through at the end. leaving one friend stranded in the city because we agreed on a night of drinking after i met paul.

in short, i disappointed kylie, the one who invited me, and paul, the birthday guy, and shaz, the stranded friend; and in return, i'm bloody disappointed (borderline angry) with those who made plans not happen tonite. (whose name i shall not divulge)

seriously, i hate promises. and i hate being piked on. i hate piking on a friend. i hate feeling guilty of not appreciating the fact that one friend did try to help but failed. and i hate being placed in situations that makes me look bad when its not my bloody fault. i never intended on piking on anyone tonite. and i hate that i didnt cut my losses when i could've!

i've always had a problem with trusting people. u know, trusting them to be there, trusting them to do the right thing. but really, with these constant reminders, how can i not?

October 3, 2008

.modern men?.

apparently there's a bible out there for men called "the game". dont know if u guys have heard of it. i might regret posting this. but anyway, this morning, i thought of something -

i've read it, and i've felt like i could become a victim to that book. however, being a target of the game at sydney last week, i realised that im smarter than that. or... maybe its because that guy was so dumb, that he didn't learn from the book, but copied the book word for word. i couldnt help but notice those exact lines straight away, thinking, "this guy cant be serious..." sigh.

but u know what i really think?

as much as i'd ike to deny it, i have to say, if done right, the game truly has the power. i wasnt convinced a few hours ago, but after youtubing these men for the last hour or so, i'm sorta speechless. i'm also back to believing i can sooo easily end up as a victim of this game.

so girls, if you're reading this, tell yourself that with these types of men among us today, we have full rights to be skeptical. UNLESS you like him too, and wouldnt mind him gaming you. ^^ hmm, actually... gaming someone who's trying to game u suddenly sounds fun.

hmm... game on? :)
here's more of neil strauss for you -

... and check out these too. PUAs (pick up artists) are everywhere! and some are reaally good [this dude named 'Mystery' is apparently a legend.] -

u know. these videos intrigue me.
but somehow the more i watch them,
the more nauseas i feel.

imagine falling for one of these acts.
its so possible.
you just never know nowadays.

but ok, i guess we shud give them the benefit of the doubt,
and at least try to ascertain their motive first.
if they're picking up for sex and pleasure only,
screw them.
if they're just looking for a way to make a breakthrough with women so he can find a serious girlfriend,
then i guess we can try to see it to be more... umm...
bona fide?

October 1, 2008


I love you
But I gotta stay true
My morals got me on my knees
I'm begging please stop playing games
I don't know what this is cos you got me good
Just like you knew you would
I don't know what you do
But you do it well
I’m under your spell
You got me begging you for mercy
Why won't you release me
I said release me

i dont know if my self control is considered out the door, but it soon could be.

how far would a girl go to win a guy who's not even right for her? hmm. and is this done for the thrill of winning? or because somewhere, there's a glimmer of hope that something good might come of this? hmm.

i dont know. really dont.
... but i dont think i really want anything either.

so what? issit just mere excitement to a stagnant life or does it digs deeper?