.where did my holiday go?.

REMEMBER MY AFTER-EXAM TO-DO LIST?
Well, Exams ended on the 22nd...
Today is the 30th...
Its been 8 days.
A week and a day.
That should have been enough to do lotsa things right?
Now lets bring out that list again,
and see what I've accomplished so far...

---

1. Take mum shopping.

(50% Done.)

2. Picnic at New Farm Park.
So Sheen and I can take our mums on the citycat.

(Cancelled.)

3. Record my songs.
Have always wanted to do this!!

(No time. Havent even touched the guitar since exams ended. *sobs*)

4. Update my friendster profile.

(DID IT!! 2 days ago!
But bloody glittergraphics.com is down!!)

5. Take more pictures. *haha*

(Sorta did this a bit.)

6. Work and save!!

(Work starts on the 1st July.
*sigh* There goes my holiday.)

7. Clean my crazy room!

(DONE THIS. Otherwise mum would kill me.)

8. GO WILD ON THE WORLD CUP!!
(knock out rounds are up soon!! ahhhh!!)

(Sorta did this.
Cant stay up too much.
Otherwise I wont get enough sleep.
Mum isn't fond of me sleeping in.
ANYWAY, VIVA PORTUGAL!!!!)

9. Go clubbing!!

(All Clubbing plans cancelled.
Mum staying here until Uni restarts.
17th July. Not that Im complaining.
But I did wanna go clubbing. Hmm...)

10. Watch more movies at the cinema!!!
*yay!! now i finally have timeeeeee!!*

(NO. Havent even been close to a cinema.
I wanna watch Superman and Tokyo Drift!!)

11. Watch movies on DVDs that I love sooOoo much!!
Guilt-freee!!!!

(YEa. Did lotsa this.)

12. ooH... rearrange my enrolled units.
*sigh* Thats not fun. *boo*

(Yes. Did this. Boo.
Its not like its fun.
Why's this in the list anyway?!)

13. Spend more time online chatting!!
and blogging!! and answering questions in yahoo! answers!!

(Sadly, I havent been able to do this alot.
At least not freely.
Cuz if I wanna do stuffs listed in #13,
I hav to give up sleeping time.
Cuz with mum here,
I dont sleep in anymore.)

14. Listen to music alllll daaaayyy...

(NO. I rarely have time to do my own stuff,
Listening to music all day without guilt or interuption?
Impossible!)

15. Catch up on sleeeepp!!!

(I can kiss this goodbye.)

16. Cook for Groovy as promised.
Im gonna poison him. ^^

(No. Not yet?)

17. Just hang out with friendss....

(Believe it or not,
I've not been out with ANY friends since before exams even!!
Tomorrow Im attending Pei Lin's Bday...
That'll be the first time I see my friends in almost a month!)

18. SHOP.

(Yea. Did a bit of this.
Now I need money.)

---

Im kinda... low.
*hmm*
Soon I'll be back at work,
(in 2 days to be exact)
And I'm working almost every night until Uni restarts.
There goes my holiday.
Not to mention,
I'll have to start studying for my deferred exam paper.

*shrugs*
Can this get any worse?
But I'll try to view things from the better side.
No worries.

.my daily dose of horoscopes.

Dear Sherlene,
Here is your horoscope
for Thursday, June 29:

You might be inadvertently sending out mixed signals even as you focus single-mindedly on your goal. It's time to examine your innermost feelings even if you're the picture of ambition on the outside.

---

Whats that suppose to mean?
Me? Sending out mixed signals?
In which direction and towards who/what?

My innermost feelings?
I potray a picture of ambition on the outside?

I wish horoscopes could be more straight forward.
*sigh*

.Round of 16.

VIVA PORTUGAL!!!
The odds are against Portugal in the knock out match tonite against Netherlands.
(at least among my friends they are)
But I hope Portugal stands up to them and manage to kick soMe holland arses tonite!!






















Im lookin forward to see THAT face again!!!
ROnaldo! Ronaldo! RonaLdo!!!!

xx leNniee

.Curlz or Straight?.

HaHa...
Tell me honestly,
which suits me better?
Curly hair? Or my usual straight?

Be warned that the curlz are a little wild tonite,
cuz I just took the curlers off.
Im hoping to see what it'll turn into after a night's sleep.
oHH... Its the first time I got curls!!
haHaa thanks to mum!
and tonight really wasn't the best nite for pics,
cuz I just watched this really touching bollywood movie,
and I cried the crap outta my eyes.
*boOoo*

But yea, focus! Hair! Face!
and see what ya think! kekKekee!













































Okay...
In case you cant see a difference,
OR YOU DONT REMEMBER HOW I LOOK LIKE IN STRAIGHT HAIR,
here are some pics to compare the above to:














































*whOa... I really do self indulge quite a bit huh?*
keKkeke... but lets not focus on that.
*blush*

So whatdaya thiNk?
Straight or Curls?

.exams can lick my........ toilet bowl?.

FINALLY! Exams are over!
Uni is out!
(at least for the next few weeks!)
I'm psyched!!!

Here are some stuffs I told myself I HAVE to do during the break,
Things I have always wanted or thought of doing,
But couldn't because of the guilt of not studying.

1. Take mum shopping (Later today? Myer? Friday nite? -purfect!-)

2. Picnic at New Farm Park.
So Sheen and I can take our mums on the citycat.
Arent citycats fun?!

3. Record my songs.
Have always wanted to do this!!
I've got like 5 songs unrecorded now...
Just thought it'd be nice to have them saved somewhere.
(so I can listen back and think how pathetic I am)
(or to reminisce on the past)

4. Update my friendster profile.

5. Take more pictures. *haha*

6. Work and save!!

7. Clean my crazy room!

8. GO WILD ON THE WORLD CUP!!
(knock out rounds are up soon!! ahhhh!!)

9. Go clubbing!!

10. Watch more movies at the cinema!!!
*yay!! now i finally have timeeeeee!!*

11. Watch movies on DVDs that I love sooOoo much!!
Guilt-freee!!!!

12. ooH... rearrange my enrolled units.
*sigh* Thats not fun. *boo*

13. Spend more time online chatting!!
and blogging!! and answering questions in yahoo! answers!!

14. Listen to music alllll daaaayyy...
*trust me, at one point, my cravings for music got soooo bad, I was gonna break down and cry. It just felt sad that I couldnt just lie on my bed and listen to music without feeling guilty*

15. Catch up on sleeeepp!!!

16. Cook for Groovy as promised.
Im gonna poison him. ^^

17. Just hang out with friendss....

18. SHOP.

- alrite alrite...
the list ends here for now.

Its not like I have THAT much time.
But one thing for sure,
I hope I can get my songs recorded.
That'd be fun.

YAY!!! EXAMS ARE OVERRRRRRRR!!!!
(not confident about my last paper,
but its over, so whatdaheck! its time for fun!)

.My Perfect Guy.

Im writing this becuz I was tagged.
Apparently there's this thing called "Blog Tagging".
Where you're suppose to do something once someone "tagged" you.
And my dear friend Mike,
*narrows eye*
He was 'sweet' enough to think of me.

So yea,
I'm gonna follow the rules and repost with my answers.
Bearing in mind the following rules:

* The tagged victim has to come up with eight different points about his/her lover.
* Has to mention the gender of his/her perfect lover.
* Tag eight other victims to join this game and leave a comment on their blog.
* If you got tagged the second time, there is NO need to do this again.
* Lastly, and more importantly, HAVE FUN DOING IT!

Right... so here's what I got from the top of my head:

Sherlene's Perfect Man

1. has a career, if not, i have to at least be able to see that he'll have a future becuz i know he'll work hard for one and be able to make something out of himself. i dont need him to support me, just not a bum who would in turn be my financial burden. SORRY.

2. he has to be more mature than me. i like a man who can guide me and give me a sense of security while im with him, cuz i can be quite crazy sometimes.

3. sociable, easy-going and presentable. he must be able to talk to people, my friends, my family, etc. definitely not a guy with a broom stick up his arse. cares about looking decent.

4. reliable and responsible. for his actions and the decisions regarding his own life. he knows what he should and shouldn't do. and whats wrong and whats right. and he does it for himself, not for anyone else, not even me.

6. home oriented. i'd love if he's got a family who's supportive of him, or that he at least understands and respects the value of a family.

7. accepts me for who i am. yes, im crazy. yes, i can be flirty. yes, i talk alot. yes, i can be very mindless sometimes. yes, i may complain alot. but he sees through all those things and loves me for who i am as a whole.

8. fun. he has to be fun becuz i hate being bored. fun also means having a sense of humour. so we can laugh together alll daaaayy.... oh, and fun also mean being able to share the things i find fun... like watching Manchester United top the league!

Such man dont exist?
I know... & Im not surprised.
Thats why I call him the perfect man.
and everyone knows,
Perfection aint possible.

---

My turn to tag?
Here u go unlucky ones!!

Selina (in her new blog)
Sheena (when she gets a new blog!)
Limpeh (yes u J!)
Sher-nani (i dun care if u think this is lame, u're doing it!)
Uncle Lee (yes James... u've been tagged!)
Carlo (my sexy huNnie buNnie)
Ivan Lean (da' man - NOT)
2saNie (I gotcha!)

Have Fun!

.Life at this point.

I was attempting to "fulfil my 'tag' duties" a while ago in a different post,
But half way through...
I felt nausea.
No idea why.
(no Ivan, Im not preggers)

But Mike must be thinkin Im weird,
cuz he's probably the only one who knows what that "tag duty" is about.
If you wanna know too,
Click Here.

ANYWAY...
I havent been feeling too great lately.
Aside from the fact that mum is here and she's been cooking awessoomeee meals,
everything else sucks.
heHhe thank God for mum!
*hugs*

oH... another GREAT thing is that Portugal made it to the 1st knock out round!
"Round of 16"
Now, I just need them to win Mexico (or draw),
so they can top group D.
Cuz...
Im assuming England will top group C,
and if both my fav teams top their groups,
They wont be knocking each other out in the round of 16.
Cuz...
Group C's #1 v Group D's #2.

*prays*

The World Cup 2006 has been awesome so far.
Just pissed cuz it had to clash with my exams.
But Thank God exams will be over by the time the knock out round begins.
Just need to hope my teams manage to break out of their groups in the group stage.
(PORTUGAL, England, Australia *haha*)

Cristiano Ronaldo scored a penalty last nite.
He looked so cute after he made the goal.
heHee he deserved it.
Awww...
Cristiano is so perfect.
*dreamy sigh*

OK. BACK TO MY BOOKS.

Btw, tonitee...
Brazil v Australia!
Imagine Aussie kicking Brazil's butt!!
whOo hOOo!!
ok ok... I know the odd are very much against Australia,
thats why I said "imagine"!
BUT then again,
You never know. ^^

GO CAHILL!!!
*sorry lalat*

.how to fall in love.

Quick question.

Should one THINK before they fall for someone?

Or...
Should one just go for it?

Ignoring the thousands of questions running through their minds:

1. Would he hurt me?
2. Is he the one?
3. What if he isn't as right as it feels?
4. Do we have a future?
5. Would my parents like him?
6. What if he doesn't like me back?
7. What would my friends think?
8. etc...

Or do you really just ignore all those and just focus on,

"Thinking about him makes me smile.
I feel butterflies and I cant help blushing.
Oh my god...
This could be the beginning of something new!
Something great!"

...

Is that a Recipe to disaster?
Or to a possibility of finding true love?

.my yahoo.com search results.

I know I dont have much time in hand for my studies,
But still, here I am...
Online wasting my precious time.

You know what I've been doin for the past 20 minutes?
I've been on yahoo.com,
looking through search results that matched "Sherlene Lee".
I didn't expect to find so many things about me.

They're nothing special though.
It just brought up many old stuffs...
Together with my blogs, multiply site, friendster, etc.

Also,
There were poems I submitted in lovingyou.com donkey years ago.
And my old GSG homepage.
LoL It was funny to see all those old pics again.
It's been years since I last updated that place.

Then I searched images that matched "Sherlene Lee"...
And this one pic came out that made me gulp.


























Apparently I submitted this pic on to "graduates.com" in my profile.
*shrugs*
Its me and Shafeeq at Tanjung Aru.
The day we wanted to see the sunset,
But it was too cloudy.
This was also a few days before SPM.
My group of friends decided to take a chill pill,
and have some fun at the beach after class.
That day was fun.

*sigh*
Okay...
Time to study.

*clears head*

ps: reading back on my old 'profile' entries,
I realised how much I've used the term "flirting" in my 'hobbies/interest' collumn...
kinda regret taking that word so lightly,
thinking its just an innocent act.
If only I knew better.

.fishin into the bag of "The Past".

No idea whats wrong with me lately.
I keep dreaming about my ex boyfriends.
Particularly Mahfuz and Shafeeq.
Not together in one dream,
But one night after the other...

Couple of days ago,
I dreamt of Mahfuz.
It was his birthday on the 8th June,
So I figured maybe that's why.
I dreamt that me and him were still together.
Having lotsa crazy fun as always...
Woke up feelin a pang of sadness.
I guess I really do miss those days.

I opened my pandora box today...
Took out pictures of him and I.
Can't help missing those days.

He was the first guy I kissed...
Here's a pic of that nite.
It was my sweet 16th birthday.



And then there were the millions of pics we took.
Friends randomly took snaps of us in class together.
Because I was making a photo album for him.
And also because I knew he was leaving...
I wanted to have as many pics of us as possible.



And then came that day when I hugged him goodbye.
His family was moving back to Perak...
It was the last time I saw him.



8 months later, we decided to let go.
A year and 11 days into the relationship.
Thats how I lost my first love.

Last nite,
I dreamt about Shafeeq.
Again,
I dreamt that him and I were still together.
Shafeeq's birthday is in April,
So I have no clue why he suddenly popped up.
But he still looked gorgeous...
And I still remember what made me fell for him.
Looking back at our videos,
Those I took at Tanjung Aru beach made me smile.



Thats one of the many things Shafeeq does best,
Making me smile.
The pic we took together in his car was my favourite pic of all.
I still have it in a frame in my room.
oH... and our prom pic.
awWww... prom.

Then I had to come to Brisbane to study.
Shafeeq and I celebrated our One Year Anniversary,
which was also on Valentine's Day.
The day after, he sent me off at the airport.
We gave up on our relationship 2 months after that.



The extraa blurry pic above was taken at the airport.
It was our last picture together as a couple.

Also in my 'little black box' was a disc.
In the disc were pics of Wayne and I.
Lookin back at the pics reminded me of one thing:
He has the most beautiful eyes I've ever got drawn to.
Ok ok... I need to share this.



Ignore me in the pic please.
I look like poo.
That was when I was the fattest.
*blush*
Wayne must've been possessed to have seen something in me.
(whoever cast that spell on him, THANKS!)
But yea, dont u think he's got the greatest eyes ever?
With that mischievious twinkle?
Like he's up to something bad... LoL

Wayne and I had lotsa fun together...
Too bad they were short-lived.



Cuz then he had to leave Brisbane.
Again,
I had to shrug and tell myself,
"I'll be fine"...

Wayne and I tried to stayed in contact tru the internet.
Webcams and all.
It worked for a while...
When Wayne told me he decided to study in Malaysia,
I was beyond hopeful that it'd work out...
But eventually,
like the others...
We went our separate ways.



Wayne and I are still in contact now though.
And as I mentioned in an earlier post,
I do miss him alot.
And the crazy part is,
He's still getting cuter.
I didnt know it was possible!

Another guy I had heaps of fun with was Todd.
Me and his pics were also stored in that disc.
Todd and I were crazy together...
LoL Had heaps of fun,
and lotsa laughs!
Its been a while since I saw him now.
The last time I chatted with his bro,
I was told he's doin great.





(sorry about the really whacked pics.
I actually didn't manage to save any "normal" pics of me and Todd.
It goes to show how crazy we were I guess.)

Todd and I,
We didn't really go out.
We were just kinda...
You know...
In the grey area.
But it was fun while it lasted...

Todd's great.
So nice, so sweet...
To the point that I gave in to my insecurities.
I couldnt convince myself that I could be right for him.
*sigh*

But until now,
I can still hear his laugh echoing in my head.
That loud crazy deep laugh.
*fuzzy feeling*

oH... I found a 'normal' pic of us.
Taken at Fraser Island.


___

The disc also contained many Word documents.
They were all past letters and emails and chats I saved.
Reading back made me feel weird...
Its like,
Reliving the pain.
Its amazing how I could actually still feel it.

All the goodbyes.
The struggles to keep a relationship alive...
To keep myself together while I watch someone I really care about walk out my life...
Then one long distant break up after the other.

Is this why I don't believe in giving myself completely anymore?
Because the past few times when I was innocent enough to do so,
I ended up getting burnt.
And its a scary realisation to find that,
Until today,
The pain still lives.

*gulp*
One thing for sure,
No more long distant relationships for me.

Sherlene's Flirting Book

I just felt the need to make this clarification.
(for the purpose of my previous post)

The definition of Flirting in the dictionary is:
"To play at courtship without any serious intentions."

If thats what flirting is...
Courting another without serious intentions,
which also means,
Deliberately misleading another...
You need to read the list below:

Sherlene is NOT Flirting with you when:

1. She compliments you.
- Example:
"Hey, nice hair, nice shirt, nice body, nice eyes, nice butt,
nice pics, you're so sweet, you're so cool, you're the best, etc"

I like giving out compliments, and they're usually true.
When I say you're sweet, I do mean that you're sweet.
When I say you look cute today, I do mean u look cute.
There's no hidden message.
So take it anyway u like...
But there's absolutely no flirting.

2. She talks to you and pushes you lightly on ur shoulder.
- I'm very physical when I'm socializing.
When I laugh, I shove u a little bit.
Thats not flirting.

3. She listens to you when you talk.
- I can be a good listener. Period.

4. She stays up to help you with your heartbreak,
or emotional problems, and appear very understanding.
- I've always wanted to be a psychologist.
Seeing that daddy says its not a good idea,
I can only fulfil my dreams this way.
And of course... I can be caring when I wanna be.

5. She hugs you.
- I'm a hugger. Period.
If you want proof, I'll hug a tree.

6. She bitches about the girl who dumped you.
(Or more non-specifically, she agrees alot with you)
- This aint flirting.
And this aint one of those moments where I try to create openings for myself.
Or trying to make us look like we're so right for one another.
I just say things the way it is.
The way I see it.
The way I understand how you see it.
Or... sometimes,
I say things because I know thats what You want me to say.
(this is especially done when you're upset or angry,
and I know you just need support or comfort.
- this links back to point #4.)

7. She does small things for you.
- Examples: Locates you a website,
Gets you a phone number,
Cook you instant noodle...
You might not have noticed,
But I can be nice sometimes.

8. You see a shy smile on her face when facing you.
- Sometimes I do naturally send out that smile,
but thats not me trying to flirt with u.
Or hide my true feelings from you or whatever.
I noticed that sometimes when I'm feeling a little awkward,
I'd put on that smile too.
(like when I run outta things to say)
Or when I say something or did something wrong.
I'm very hard on myself...
When I do something foolish,
Or something I shouldn't have,
You'll see the shy smile.

9. She hooks her arms around yours.
- I use to do this alot.
I even demand the guy to put their hand into their pocket,
so I can just rest my arm around theirs without having to use my energy to keep it there.
(now some of my close friends do it automatically before I even need to ask)
hahHaa... this aint flirting.
But I've been warned about this.
Apparently thats one of the things that just get guys confused.
(mix signals, wrong impressions, whatever)
So I do it less now...

10. She calls you by an affectionate name.
- Example:
"Hey honey, sweety, hun, babes, sexy, gorgeous, etc."
It just feels nice.
And it sounds nice too.
oH... and it makes you feel closer to the person u talk to.
Dont you think?
I think its sweet.
Whether I call people that,
or if people call me that...
heHhee... So yea...
Thats not flirting in my book.
___

I'll leave the list there for now.
I hope I cleared up things...

oH... and just if you're curious...
An example for when I'm flirting...
(not to mislead, but because I really am interested,
like I said in my previous post.)
It'd be something as cheesy as this...

"I dont know why,
But thinking about makes me smile."
- and then I bite my lip and tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear...
*blush*

*lol* Im a loser...

.FLIRTING: where's the limit?.

How far is flirting allowed to go?
How far is flirting allowed to go with someone you're not really sure you wanna be with?

As in...
Okay... for me,
I usually only flirt with guys (like really flirt) if I'm romantically interested in them.
*To those who knows me, You'll know what I mean by 'really flirting'*

So yea...
How far can 'my sorta flirting' go with someone Im not sure I wanna be with?

The thing is,
He's really interesting.
I am attracted.
But I dont see us together.

Now I feel him responding to me.
Not that he wants to hook up,
Cuz he knows that we're not cut out for each other too.
But yea...
We toy with the idea of going 'a step' further...
The step that would possibly make things complicated.
Probably also the step we could possibly just be saying,
but would never put into action?

So when does these flirting end?
When is it suppose to end?
And what about the ideas we mentioned during the 'flirting session'?
Are those abandonable?
Or...............

Ivan's right.
I do love messing up my life.

.New Exposure.

I payed a visit to a strip club today.
It was my first time.
(so dont u dare judge me!!)
*heHhee*
My friends and I were curious.
So sue us.

Nwayz, we didn't go during busy hours,
so the place was pretty quiet.
That also meant we had a perfect view of everything.

I have to say,
Im quite shocked.
But at the same time, very amazed.

There was this Asian stripper who had one of the best bodies.
I think she's new...
So her dance (pole dancing etc) was pretty weak.
She was like an injured cockroach.
Made me feel a little embarrassed.
I dont know if thats the reason why I thought it was dreadful,
(to the point that I couldnt even bare looking at her,
if not for her pierced nipple *heHee*)
or issit becuz she's Asian...
Not that Im discriminating the "art" of stripping.

And when I say "art",
I mean that with no sarcasm at all.
Stripping really is an art one needs to master before one can perform.
In order to perform it well.

Cuz when this white gal came on,
(who looked like she's been stripping for a while)
I have to say I was blown away.
The way she moved...
I could tell she knew what she was doing...
goSh...
She was so confident...
So sexy...
So wow...
I can soOoo understand why men pay to watch her.
I truly am facinated.
I wish I could do what she did.
And the best part is,
She didn't even have a great figure...
But her movements made her a million times sexier than that Asian chick with the hot bod.

Nwayz,
Im so tired.
If I have the mood later on,
I'll elaborate more on my experience.
Just too sleepy now...
Need to crash.
ASAP.

oH by the way,
Did I mention the strip club is currently hiring?
*ehem*