October 29, 2005

God was Listening...

Just a sudden realisation.
A couple of months ago,
I remember telling people...
"I'm so lazy to get into a relationship"

The reason for that being,
"I'm too lazy to start something from scratch."
As in,
You know when you get into a relationship,
and you need to build it and work on it...
Do things to stable it...
Hold yourself back a little,
while slowly revealing your true habits little by little.
You know what I mean, rite?

So Yea,
The last thing I told my friends was,
"It is possible to just dump me in the middle of a r'ship?"
Just so I can skip all the preliminary bits,
and move straight on to being 100% me,
without the need to hold back...
(Cuz u normally will at the beginning of a rship,
cuz u're not comfortable enough with that person yet
to share really intimate and personal things about
urself, and also, u'd be afraid that he might judge u)

Thats when Shaz came into the picture.
We've been together for less than a month,
and I'm at my worse already.
By that, I mean...
He has probably been exposed to at least 95% of the True Sherlene.
which may I say, isn't a pretty sight.
Poor him.

But yea,
I'd definitely say...
God was listening.
Thats why I've got Shaz.
Someone I know I can be so crazily open with.
Someone I can practically say anything to.
Someone I can dash out all my worse habits on.
He's yet to see me in full rage though.
LoL That would be painful to watch.
I'll keep u informed when that happens...

Till then,
Wish us all the best.
Lets hope I'm not as bad as I sound...
After all, there's only so much a man can take.

My Day as you can 'see'...

Pictures tell a thousand words rite?
(or however people say it)

My Flowers are BlooOoming!
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Shaz took a nap while I messed arouNd...
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See what Shaz got me!!!
My EARLY birthday present! (very early btw)
hahaHaa.. My very own I-Dog!!! *HERO!*
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*"feeding" Hero... he feeds on MUSIC*
How cool is that huh?!
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My baby's up... :)
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Took Hero out for a drive *and late lunch*
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Shaz and I took a walk after lunch...
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My baby just left 30 minutes ago...
I miss him to bits already!
Today was a great way to release some exam stress.
Back to studies? *reluctant yeap*

October 27, 2005

Shadows of the Past...

I'm never usually the type who gets caught up in the whole messy issue of "Exes".
Meaning, my boyfriends Exes.
"The Girl before You"... U know?
Like the last guy I dated,
I knew who his ex was...
And I knew she was prettier and sexier,
But it never once bugged me.
My other exes never gave me those probs.
Some didn't even have exes.

But this time...
I don't know.
As in, with Shaz.
Probably becuz of how things ended between him and his ex.
In fact,
I'm not even sure if "ended" is the right word to use.

The thing is,
I know how things came to an end between them...
And I know how terribly depressed Shaz was.
And I know how much she meant to him.
He says she's his world.

Until today, when the topic comes up,
He still tells me how sucky it feels...
and how the experience scarred him for life.
And back when Shaz and I were still friends,
He told me many things about him and his ex.
About how things were perfect,
And how suddenly things changed between them,
(against their will)
and how crushed he was and hopeless the felt.

Today Shaz told me he dreamt about her.
He said he dreamt she came back and wanted to get back together.
Shaz said he told her he couldn't.
Because he's with someone else now.

I should probably be feeling all "awww"...
It got me thinking.
If one day, she does come back,
And Shaz and her really had the chance to get back together,
and Me, knowing they were so perfect before...
Would the right thing to do be... "walking away"?

But from what I know,
The chance of that happening could be slim.
I still can't help thinking.
What if she does re-appear?
I'm not saying they get back together,
But merely re-appearing and re-entering his life?
Back in the picture. Lets say, as friends.
(If thats even possible)
What effect would that have on Shaz? on Us?

On my end,
Shaz has nothing to worry about.
My record is as clean as ever...
There's no "ex" that I've ever thought of getting back with.
Just not my style.
But Shaz likes playing around with the idea of being my 2nd fiddle.
After Cristiano Ronaldo. hahHaa... Yea rite.

But I'd say,
The real question playing in my mind really is,
"Am I the 2nd Fiddle?"

October 25, 2005

RandoM Cut-Out Thoughts...

Listening to Marty Worrall's single.
Its finally out!
The more I listen to it,
The more I love it!
Marty! You Rock!!

I had lunch at Satay Club with Shaz today.
Then Shaz and I went to run a few errands.
Suppose to study at Uni after that,
But I felt a little sick.
So Shaz sent me home and I slept until 9.30pm.
I left my Optus mobile & my wallet with Shaz.
I'm a clumsy little ***.
kekKkee... U can fill in the blanks.

For the 10998269th time,
I realised most human has one similar pattern.
When you tell them your problem,
70% of them would respond in a...
"Mine's even worse!"
or worst still,
"You call that a problem?! Have u heard mine?!"
- Whats with that?!

See, the thing is,
I'm not saying your problem isn't bigger than mine,
and it probably is,
But what makes you think that because your problem is bigger,
My problem isn't a problem??
*this is a hypothetical scenario*

I've been saying this since I was much younger.
It started when Mum always tell me,
"When you're an adult, thats when you know what problems are."
Who's to say kids can't have their own problems rite?
Thats exactly what I'm saying.
Just because your problem might be more serious,
It doesn't give you the rights to disregard other's merely because YOU have bigger issues.

My advise,
When someone comes to you with a serious problem,
Or a problem that seems serious to them,
Don't tell them it's "Nothing",
and start telling them how much worse your life is.
Cuz when someone tells you their problem,
And you've willingly chose to be there to listen,
It wouldn't kill you to allow the spotlight to be focused on them for once.
Let them know that you understand what they're going tru.
That you know that problem is really bugging them.
Instead of making them feel insignificant.
You know what I mean?
One doesn't have to be a psychologist to figure that out.

hahHa... weird how I suddenly brought this up.
Amazing what goes tru my head just randomly.

I've been dreaming about Sherwynna alot.
Keep dreaming about me and her in Brisbane.
It's like I'm imagining the future or something.
Cuz Wynna is coming on the 10th Nov.
Can't wait till exams are over!
Can't wait till Wynn gets here!

Time for dinner.
Curry lamb.
Sherman is a star.

October 24, 2005

Roses on my bed...

Exams start next week.
I'm currently at Chapter 2/13 of my 1st Unit.
I've got 3 other Units to revise,
and 13 weeks of readings to do for each.
Great life.

This morning, Shaz's message woke me.
He said he's bringing lunch over.
When he got here,
I was in the bathroom.
When I returned to my room,
There on my bed was...
3 red roses, and some teriyaki sushi rolls.

I stood there for a moment.
Feeling speechless.
I still dont know why I deserve all this.
In fact,
I still can't believe I really have all this...

Shaz also got me a wrist band...
Its a red one, for poverty.
We both have one now.

Last nite I went to sleep after a single tear ran down my cheek.
Shaz and I had a bad night.
Not anything TOO bad...
I know he was just being honest about how he was feeling.
Problem is,
I dont know what to do.
I'm simply not expressive enough.
And I can't help it... *sobs*

Like this morning,
I was soOo touched by his gestures...
for bringing me lunch and buying me roses,
But all I could manage was a "thank you"...
Hoping he would understand and feel how grateful I really am.

Shaz helped Sherman in the garden today.
He mowed the lawn while Sherman weed.
I... didn't do anything.
Just fetched water and bring out some food.
Shaz sent me to Uni after that.
(which is where I am at the moment)

Hmm... I hope today would be a great one...
With only a few minor setbacks,
like the fact that my mobile is outta battery.

Marty's Single is out today.
Need to get my hands on a copy.
Maybe at KMart later.

I miss Shaz already.

October 23, 2005

Eating Starburst Again...

Last nite,
MU and Tottenham drew.
Bloody Hell...

Last nite,
I was chatting with Shazzie...
We were deliberating about our Friendster profile.
Does it matter what our status is?
Single and In a Relationship.
What's the significance?
After much discussion,
I told Shaz I'll change mine just for the kicks.
To see what it would do...
And I told Shaz he can keep his the way it is.
After changing mine,
I checked out his...
It says:

Status: In a Relationship

*grins* - * heart flutters* - *melts*

He's so sweet.
And even sweeter cuz he didn't do it for me,
but for "Us"!
And thats exactly what I wanted.
*tee hee*

Okiee... Study time!!
Exams in 8 days!!

October 22, 2005

Shaz Shaz & More Shaz...

Last night was funny.
Remember in the previous post,
I said Shaz was gonna bring dinner over?
Well, we ended up going out for dinner instead.
A lateeee dinner.
Where, u ask?

(when we got there, it was 12am)

LoL How nuts can Shaz be huh?
But I had lots of funNn...
People at the coast are crraazzyy...
Specially on Friday nights.
This Aussie guy said to me,
"Hey, want some white boy?"
hahHaa dumbass.

Shaz and I went for seafood.
As in, Fish and Chips. heheHee...
Shaz had steak. He was super hungry that nite.
"I can eat a cow" - he says. LoL
Probably cuz he didn't get enough rest,
and has been running around the whole day.
OH... Shaz made the football team!!
*YAY!!!* I definitely feel proud~
But most importantly,
I wanna know he's happy doing what he's doing.
Shaz gave me his first football winning medal.
I can't possibly ask for more.
Its truly the perfect gift.

Nwayz, after dinner and a walk on the beach,
We headed home. LoL
Well, u see... We knew the way back,
but we both wanted to find a short cut home.
So, little miss smarty pants *gulp* Me,
suggested we take the Beenleigh exit on the Motorway.
No surprise... It was no where near home.
*blames refidex for going missing*
LoL We drove on and on and came to this town.
It was SCARY.
I seriously felt spooked out.
Maybe becuz it was 3am...
That town was seriously GHOST TOWN.
Then Shaz saw 3 people walking on the side of the road.
And he said,
"Hey, this place is scary man."
And I started to sweat.
Then he continued,
"Look at the people... They're losers"
We laughed all the way home.
Mind you, we did find the right exist at last.

oH... I think Shaz and I got a song now.
"Someday We'll Know" - Mandy Moore/Jonathan Foreman

LoL Today Shaz and I went for lunch at Sunnybank.
Now is time to study.
So I can watch the MU match guilt free tonite.
YAY! Finally! Fox is airing MU's match!!
SO excited to see Ron again!!

ps: My gut feeling tells me tht Shaz has been reading my blog.
Shaz... come out come out wherever u aree...

October 21, 2005

Kick Back & RelaX

Im all sweaty and in need for a hot bath.
Went out with Shaz at noon for a jog and a little football session,
Then we went for a stroll around my neighbourhood.
After that, we had maccas...
(which I'd say defeated the entire purpose of working out)
ooH Guess what?!
There's actually a play ground around my area!!
I'm soOoo taking Selina there!

Top to Bottom: Shaz's broken ankle, Bad boy Shaz & sleepy Me,
*untitled* and Shaz getting ready to do sprints.

Anywayz, the "haHaha" on top is actually caused by something else.
Sherman just walked into my room and asked,
"Hey, I'm going out. What are u gonna have for dinner?"
(cuz Sheena and Selina are both out with their boyfriends)
And I said,
"Oh... Shaz said he'll be bringing dinner over later"
And my bro was like...
And I heard him laugh all the way down the stairs,
telling his friend,
"Oh hey, guess what? Now I dont have to worry about my sister anymore."
hahHaa... SheeSh...

I've got an eating disorder.
Im eating WAYYYYY too much than necessary.
Yesterday, I bought 4 different choc bars,
and today, I bought another 2 packs of Starbursts.
Then after Maccas, I came home and ate mud cake.
ANDDDD a quarter pack of my sour cream and onion chips!!
*eeeeks* HELP!!

*control control control*

Ok... Im gonna take a shower now.
Shaz has got a football tryout at 7.30pm...
Im sure he'll do great~
Then we're gonna hav dinner... :)

oH... by the way, my baby Ronaldo got arrested.
He's been accused of rape.
Like, WTF rite?
As if a guy of his potential need to rape girls.
Girls are more likely to rape HIM!
He'll be playing against Tottenham tomorrow.
I hope he's got his mind set and is ready for the game.
Glory Glory MU!!!

ohmegosh... I jez finished a pack of STarburst all by myself.

October 20, 2005

It's 4.30am...
I just got outta the shower.
My hair is still dripping wet as I type this.
Dont know why I'm typing this by the way.
Just a sudden urge - as usual.

Spoke to Ivan on the phone for... hmm...
an hour? or was it two?
It was great to hear that familiar voice.
He's always there to listen to me whine.
The cute part is,
I didn't even have to call him.
Its like he knows when I'm down...
and just calls out of the blue.

That reminds me of Andy.
Andy sms-ed me right before dinner.

That was my "down-est" moment...
He was asking how I was.
It automatically made me feel great.
Nice people are all around me.
I'm so blessed.

See... the thing is,
I don't know whats wrong with me.
Its just something.
Something I just can't put my finger on.
And I wouldn't think it's anyone in particular...
Its probably just the stuffs thats happening around me.

I wonder how's Shaz.
Hope he's feeling better.
His high fever shook me last nite.
The worst part was, I didn't know what to do.
Panadol, check. Wet towel, check. Eucalyptus oil, check.
..... I probably shud hav made porridge...

Im beat.
I need sleep.

October 19, 2005

Whinny Little Me

Mind you,
Whatever I type here in the next 5 minutes could be words plainly conjured by my overly tired mental state.
So please don't take me word for word.
In fact, ignore whatever you're about to read.
Cuz after tonite,
I might just go back to being on Cloud 9 again.

Its been about 2 days since the last time I blogged.
Feels like a gazillion years.
These few days, I feel as if I've been out of my old life.
And my brain isn't functioning the usual way anymore.
And somehow I feel,
Its like I dont hav time for the things I usually do anymore.
and.. I'm not sure I'm happy about that.

For one,
I spend very little time on MSN now.
As in, now, when my status says "Away",
I really am away!

I've been missing my usual 11.30pm Sex and the City reruns.
Seems like a small matter but its beginning to irritate me.

I've not been sleeping well.
And I'm not exactly complaining,
becuz the reason why I'm staying up is pretty good.
*heeeey.. dun get dirty ideas*
It's undeniably exhausting.
I wonder how long more I can keep this up before I fall sick.

I've been delaying in responding to emails and messages.
I soOooo wanna sit down and reply,
but I never hav that time anymore.
And when I do have time,
I'd be too tired and moodless to type.
And who'd wanna read an email from a moodless brat rite?

I've not been studying.
And when's exams?
2 weeks?
I'm F*cked.

I'm just tired.
So tired.
SO SO SO very tired.
Maybe cuz my baby is sick,
Thus I feel mentally ill too.


oH... suddenly realization.
I know why I'm whinning!!
Its PMS!! *seriously*

October 16, 2005

Current Feeling; "LALA"

Im currently in B Block's computer lab...
It sucks here.
The air conditioning is not working,
and the printing card recharging machine isn't working.
It's 10pm by the way...
and raining.
Yet me and Selina had that rare motivation,
to take a 40 minutes bus ride and a 20 minutes walk to Uni.
We're here to print exam notes and lecture slides and etc.
Im so tired.

My dearie is back.
He miss called me after he arrived.
I wanna see him so badly...
But after cooking dinner a while ago,
I look like crap and smell like oil.
Definitely not how I wanna let him see me.

Nwayz, he said he might drop by at my place later.
I'm suppose to SMS him when I get home.
Its 10pm already. Shit.
How ah?

hehe We'll see.
Gosh... He's back!!
HE'S BACK!! muahaHhaaa..!!

The Anticipation is KILLING Me!!

He's boarding the plane back to Brissie in less than 2 hours.
Which means,
He'll be back before the end of today.
Sunday night.
Im so excited!
Don't know what its gonna be like.
Would we both be super shy?
Would things be different?
I dont dare imagine.
After all,
Before he left,
We were just friends.
*ehem* - kinda friends, at least.

Woww... I can't sleep!

*deeeeep breath!*

Rooney, Ruud, Rossi!

October 15, 2005

...Im Content...

I just had to blog before bed.
This time it isn't becuz I'm a self proclaimed Bloggerholic,
But simply cuz I wanna jot down how I feel at this very second.
I for one, is well aware that Happy things don't last.
So don't mind me gushing about it while it last... hehee...

Nwayz, don't know why.
Somehow everything feels great.
Aside from the fact that Mr Nutcase isn't feeling too well.
Hope he recovers soon.
And lets hope his liver will live to fight another day.
*poor liver*

I should be in bed right now.
Need to be up in about 4 hours...
Attending Sisca's elder sister's Birthday...
We bought her a necklace from Prouds.
Its really pretty!! I wish it was for me...
hHAaa but my point is,
I hope Veronica will like it as much as I do. :)
Tomorrow (or later) will be fun!

I'm soOo happy with him.
I'm soOo happy that my friends know and is happy.
I'm soOo happy that Sherman knows.
I'm soOo happy that he'll be back on Monday.
I'm soOo happy that I met his housemate.
I'm soOo happy about everything thats happening.

He's great. :)
He's funny... hahHaa...
Got him to record me a ringtone.
It was soOo funny! hahHaa...
He's so cute. In so many ways...
I'm so lucky. In so many ways...


and The Veronica's - "4 ever" is a great song.

October 14, 2005

Liver; Do we need it?

Dumb topic, I know.
But I'm curious...
Can one live without their liver?
I really wanna know.

Cuz I think my hoNey's liver is deteriorating.
Maybe when his one fails,
I can give him mine?



I'm gonna take my shower now.
Need to call my dearie to make sure he's not asleep while driving all the way back from Ranau to KK...
Intoxicated and not feeling well.
*shivers* He better be fine!

oH... and just briefly about today,
Well, I met a couple of new people...
Sherman's friends.
One of them was my sweety's housemate.
I know he 'knows'.
- cuz sweety mentioned that he told him.
And now I think my bro knows too...
I was indirectly teased by them about it alot tonite.
Amazing how everytime they mention my baby's name,
I lose focus on my foosball game. *crap*
Another weakness identified...

Today Emyne and Lalat msged me on MSN at the same time.
haHaa Instantly I knew "THEY KNEW"... lol
And blogspot! You're to blame! *kekekee*
But I'm glad cuz they're really supportive.

Altho we all can't deny the fact that it does feel kinda weird.
HAHA... two friends hooking up.
But I can see they were both really happy for me.
Love them to the max! *hugs*
Thanks guy! And I miss u all like mad!!
I can't wait till exams are over!
Gambatte!! :)

And Latz, we'll always be good ji muis k?
*muaks* Your SON won't make any difference!
And we're still going clubbinggg!!!! *grins*

oKay... REALLY time for shower now.
and God,
Please let Shaz get home safe tonite.

October 12, 2005

Email from an Idol!


I woke up this morning and checked my email.
And guess who I got a mail from?

Marty Worrall!!!!


How totally awesome is that huh?! haHaha...

Anywayz, its not really a SUDDEN thing...
Cuz Marty had email me before. :)
Back when Aussie Idol 2 was still on,
a group of online Marty fans were really tight.
I was called "Sweetz" due to my email...
- sweet_whisperzzz@yahoo.com -

Marty does come online to chat with us sometimes.
And he posts us pictures that he took during his Idol journey.
So yeaa peoplee... We get the inside scope of things. *grins*

So anywayz, during my fanatical-Marty period,
I wrote Marty a song called "My Inspiration"...
And it was only until a couple of months ago when I got it recorded.
After recording it, I thought, "hey, why not send it to Marty?"
So I did...

And this email I got today was a respond from him about the song.
He's such a sweetheart.
He made it sound like it was REALLY good.
But, hahaah I know better laaa... *blush*
Still... I'm stoked.
He actually heard my song and said I had a sweet voice.
*grinning till my cheek hurts*

Marty's first single is coming out in late October.
I'm so excited!
And Marty is soOoo sweeet!!!

*Sigh* What a wonderful Idol..
I feel so lucky!

October 10, 2005

Yea, I Miss Him...

Its funny how the timing is always so right.
Just when I'm in the mood to blog about 'him',
"Mari Bercinta" by Sheila on 7 wud start playing...
Definitely sets me into an even better mood to write something nice.
Specially since we just got off the phone.

He's still away,
So me and him hav been spending heaps of time on the phone.
If not talking, it'd be SMS-ing.
I dread my 3G bill... lol
But I guess,
for him...
It's worth it.

I miss him heaps.
Its funny how things are when we're talking.
Sometimes the conversation gets mushy...
and sometimes we're able to just talk like two old friends.
The thing about being with him is...
I feel soOo relaxed.
Maybe cuz I know that he's seen me at my worse,
so there's not much for me to hide anymore.
And even if I do hide,
He'd know I'm not being myself.
That makes me like him even more...
and LOVE the idea of being with him.
Simply cuz things between us are so easy and casual and free.
I can't wait till he gets back.
Hopefully things would only get better from here on.

I remember him asking me,
"What makes me different from the other guys?"
And I told him...
Because of 3 basic (but essential) things.

  1. I'm physically attracted to him.
  2. He's someone I can talk to about anything.
  3. I can be myself, as in 100% when I'm with him...

What more can I ask for rite?
Not to mention,
We're both very pathetic individuals...
We love all the same things.
MU, guitar, writing songs, music, debating, talking about life, gossips...

And I like that he's very sophisticated.
He knows things I dont know...
And I love how he tells me stuffs...
Politics, Matters of General knowledge, etc.

Boring, I KNOW.
But when he talks about it,
I get this urge to know everything. hahHaa...
So yea, thats a good thing rite?
That he inspires me to care more about the world and the society.

At the same time,
he's such a goofball...
I laugh like crazy when I'm around him.
And sometimes he can be so annoying,
You wish you can kick his butt...
But yeaa, I like him the way he is.

And as days go by,
I just seem to like him more and more...

October 9, 2005

Ms Bloggerholic

Yups... That's Me.
I can't stop blogging.
Everytime I spend more than 5 minutes thinking about something,
I'd automatically feel that urge to write em' down.
That makes me a "Bloggerholic"?
Oh buMmer...

Today's goNna be a slowww day.
Last nite I was tossing and turning in bed...
Couldn't sleep becuz I was worried about Mr Nutcase.
heHehe... Truth to be told,
Its been a while since I had to do that.
U know...
Stay up in bed, feeling worried becuz someone you care about could be in danger.

Mr Nutcase was out drinking with friends last nite.
Called me a couple of times,
oNly to let me hear that his ability to talk is worsening.
haHa you shud hav heard him...
He was slurring to the max.
But he got home safe.
So that's good enough...
And as a bonus, he did say he felt bad about making me worry.
Isn't that nice? And I didn't even hav to really snap at him.
aaaHh... the beauty of dating someone with brains.
*doubts* kekekee...

Anywayz, Selina suggested to have Maccas for dinner tonite.
It's just a 15 minutes walk to the one just above the street from where I live.
Maccas is so yummy.
Been a while since I last sunk my teeth into a McChicken burger.

Alritey... Need to reaaally start work on my advocacy now.
Wednesday. *shivers*
Again, lets just keep our fingers AND TOES crossed.


ps: Guess what? Summer decided to make an early visit.
Just when you think it couldn't possibly get any worse... *sigh*

Sweet Talk?

I recieved an SMS today and realised something.
He can say a dozen of "I Miss You"(s)
and countless "You're beautiful"(s)...
And make me feel... "awww..."
But this SMS definitely beat them all.
"I'm more responsible now because I have you"
*turns to mush*
... *slaps self*...
Regain ur compulsure missy!!

October 8, 2005

Reputation, What?!

I was baking today.
Some who read that line would think,
"What?! Sherlene Lee? Baking?!"
Thats what people think of me.

Then, if I were to tell people,
"Hey, guess wat? I'm with someone now."
People would think,
"What?! You?? In a relationship?!"
and then, they'd think,
"Ah... I'll give it 3 months max."
Given my luck,
Some people might even bet on it.

In a way,
its funny how people think the way they do about me.
To them,
Sherlene Lee is this silly twit who goes around flirting, saying sweet things to guys, making them feel special, when she absolutely has no intention of taking things further.
They call her a Flirt.
I'm a flirt.
*unenthusiastic "Yay"*

Honestly, I never really cared what people thought.
I always tell myself,
As long as I know myself and know what I'm doing,
it's fine.
Cuz I seriously have no intention to mislead anyone!
Besides, most of the time when I tell a guy he's hot,
I really do think he is.
"Sweet, hot, sexy, yummy..."
I meant those things.
Its just most girls don't say it out loud.
Here I am being honest, and my butt gets bitten in return.
You devils!!!

And besides,
Who says that just becuz someone says something nice about you,
it means they wanna jump your bone?

But... Here's the twist. The real prob.
Better known as "The Sucky Bit"
Now... the guy whom I really do think is...
"Hot, Sexy, Sweet, Yummy, Cute, Funny, Understanding, Crazy, Caring and an absolutely HoNey" ends up being the one who doesn't trust my intentions.
But yeAaa... I think he's awesome.
And I care about him more than he thinks.
Looks like I might need to hammer that into his head if I must.

So yeaa... haHaa *forceful laugh*
So much for thinking this whole reputation thing is funny.
Now I wish I could just go around saying,

"Reputation? What reputation?!"

Its Official

I just got off the phone.
My current mood? - I dont know.
I'm rather speechless.
In a dreamy drunk kinda way...

But the conclusion...
I'd say:

"The story of Romeo and Juliet begins."

So... Is it official?


7th Oct; Issit Official?

This post is gonna contradict my previous one.
Mainly cuz... things turned 360 degrees.
My heart's current status?
I wouldnt say its Complete, or Mended, or Whole...
Its more like... confused.

7th Oct 2005...
After talking with him from a couple of nites before,
which ultimately led up to the dawn of 7th Oct...
Things have been thrown here and there,
Up and down...
And eventhough we've both decided on something Final,
I must say, I'm still rather confused.
Not sure what HE really wants, and not sure what WE really need.

Romeo and Juliet...
The star-crossed lovers...
Are we them in the 21st Centuary?

Its beginning to look more and more like it.
But hey,
Romeo and Juliet had their happy moments together rite?
So... does that mean we'll get ours too?

Then Die?

October 6, 2005

Decision Made?

My heart broke.

I wanna say more,
But I'm all drained.
Lost for words.

I'm left with mending.
And I've done it before...
I know I can do it again.

Decision made?


October 5, 2005

Roller Coaster Ride

I should be at Level 5, doing what Selina is doing at the moment.
STUDY. But here I am... In front of the comp. AGAIN.
Read Lalat'z multiply blog about her trip to Moreton Island just a while ago.
Damn it sounded like heaps of fun! hahaHa
Definitely need to visit there sometime!
After all, its been a while since I last had the chance to camp out and eat dirty food~
*remembers Fraser Island*
That trip was awesome.

Last nite I slept at 5.30am...
Was up chatting with someone.
Someone special.
We had that conversation.
The one we both knew wud come up, since the last time we were together.
Again, it was bitter sweet.
He said all the right things...
But as he said, some things are just outside our control.
We're trying to figure out whats gonna happen from here on.

Last night,
I truly felt as if I was on a roller coaster ride.
You should have felt what I was feeling.
Becuz him and I were chatting on MSN,
and he has this habit of posting short sentences instead of completing a full line before he hits enter.
So there I was...
Reading line by line...
And the funny part was how one sentence made my tummy churn,
and the next made me smile,
and the very next made my heart sink...
and after that,
He said something that completely lift my spirits again.
And then the above process is repeated.

hahHAaa... As much as I think those feelings are "wow",
It kinda sucked. hahHaa...
But Im glad the last feeling I got before I closed my eyes to sleep was a good one.
A bloody good one in fact.
I like falling asleep thinking about him.
(and waking up with him in my mind too)

He says he isn't good with words...
But to me, he definitely said everything I wanted to hear last night.
Its either he doesn't know how good he really is, or I'm really easy to please.
hahHaa... But one thing for sure,
I really do think he's a great guy.
As I told him, there are times when I do wanna kick his butt,
becuz he can be the most annoying creature on the face of this planet,
But, he still makes me smile.
And that makes up for everything.

This might sound corny,
But I really do wanna be with him.


current music: Spanish Guitar - Toni Braxton
current mood: Drunk Happy (and i dont mean drunk in the literal sense)

October 4, 2005

The Heart Speaks...

Find a guy,
who calls you beautiful instead of hot..
Find a guy,
who calls you back when you hang up on him..
Find a guy,

who will stay awake just to watch you sleep..

Wait for the guy,
who kisses your forehead..
Wait for the guy,

who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats..
Wait for the guy,
who holds your hand in front of his friends..

Wait for the one,
who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you..
Wait for the one,

who turns to his friends and says...
"that's her"..

Happy Moments? - So Yesterday!

Presentation went alrite.
The jitterbugs live to strike another day.
Next wednesday to be exact.
Thats when my advocacy is...
I've always liked advocacy.
Great to dress up all formal,
and talk in a moot court...
Only this time, my opponent is family.
Selina, to be exact.
She's the Crown Prosecutor this time around.
And I'm acting for the Defence, like last semester.
HahHa... last semester.
Poor Shaz. Got his ass kicked.
*actually I was just lucky*

It's coming to 4am...
But I'm stuck on MSN.
NOT against my own will. hahHhaa...
Damn. MSN is addictive.
As soon as u've got a convo going with a friend,
it's impossible to leave!!
I need to do my tute work for tomorrow!
*slaps self*

I dont know how to describe this feeling I'm feeling at the moment.
It's... bitter sweet, I think you can say.
No... maybe more like, bitter bitter and kinda sweet.
Hmm... I don't know.
All I can say is I was right from the start.
Good things don't last.

ps: I never learn from my mistakes...
Problem is, I only realise I redid my mistake,
AFTER redoing it. *sigh*

October 3, 2005

JitterBugs Everywhere!!

oH maaaaN...
My presentation is in 38 minutesss...
Im soOooo trembly.
But at the same time,
I can't wait till its over.

ArrrrggHH!!! *blush*
Sorry. Just had to vent.
I'm going crazy hereeee!!!

And as much as I'd like to rehearse my script again,
I know that if I were to read that 3 sheets of paper,
I'd simply die.

I came to uni at 12.30pm...
Went to the foyer in level 3 of Z Block for some quiet time alone.
Read and reread my script 10000 times.
Still, I'm panicking...

*fingers crossed peopleee!!*

How annoying that my mp3 player went outta battery.
Just when I need it the most.
And so did my mobile! WHAT LUCK!
Thankfully its just after I replied to Shaz's sms.
nO wait...
It switched off while it said: "sending"
Does that mean it wasn't sent?
oH well...

oHHH... 34 minutes. *shivers*
Is is cold in here or issit just me?

October 2, 2005

Down... So Down...

I was feeling on top of the world yesterday.
I'm just about to hit the bottom of the sea.
*slaps self*
Need to stop dreaming.
It's harmful...
I feel the effect already.

Presentation tomorrow.
*fingers crossed*

October 1, 2005

Day Dreaming; Healthy?

I'm officially addicted to Blogging.
It's 4.16am.
And here I am,
feeling as if my day isn't complete until I posted something.
So okay, here goes.

Is day dreaming healthy?
You know how people just sit at one spot,
Stare into space, and day dream?

They think about someone special.
They imagine themselves doing things with that person.
Going out, walking hand in hand, hugging, laughing...
*heart flutters*
Wait. I'm not the only person who does such thing rite?

Okay fine. Since I've already said so much,
I guess its no harm to continue. haHa...
But yea, I do sit down and day dream alot.
I think of 'him'...
I imagine us laughing together.
I recall the past.
Play them back in my head and laugh all over again.
I think of a joke,
Then I imagine myself telling him.
Then I try to imagine how he'd react.

He'd laugh along, I decide.
Thinking about him laughing makes me smile.
Does this mean something?
Another infatuation perhaps?
I'm a freak. I know.

Current Mood: Floaty Happy
Current Song: Mari Bercinta - Sheila on 7