i was telling julia tonight how i havent really broke down and cry since he left. we then concluded, there shall come a day when the floodgates will be opened and everything would come crashing down.
yippee. imagine my joy and anticipation...
then i heard this old delta goodrem song on my mp3. i only just updated my song list and had chucked a dozen of older songs in there. this was one of them...
... definitely not a good idea. 2 words. breaking point.
watched "shall we dance" today, starring richard gere, susan sarandon & j.lo.
... and i thought the line in the video above should most definitely be quoted -
when asked about her take on why people get marriage, susan sarandon's character says:
" ... because we need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'. "
also, i was trying to find my favourite scene from the movie on youtube, but somehow only the foreign languaged ones popped up... [i guess it'll just have to do for now. aaand you might have to watch the whole movie to feel the gravity and emotions of this particular part of the movie... ]
ps: if you're reading this post but not seeing the video, that's cuz u're reading from my automatic facebook note update rather than my original blog post on blogger... [i'm sure there's a link to the original post somewhere.]
omg. cleaning my room might take days. i started more than 8 hours ago, and im not done. [i had breaks in between of course - to eat, take a break and reminisce on the past with certain items.] and right now, cleaning has to stop because i need sleep before having to get up for work at 6.30am tomoz.
gosh. i sleep in bloody a junk yard. a junk yard with overflowing memories from my past 6 years in australia. throwing things away upsets me. :( although at the same time, the extra space makes up for it. gah. all these mixed emotions!
... and twice the GAHH cuz dust is everywhere. i guess i'll have to wear clothes to bed tonight. 2.27am. ok, time to ciao. nitey sleepy people!
p.s. i'll leave u with this video. my latest addiction!
so, i had time on my hands this arvo and decided to muck around with one of taylor swift's songs...
its called "you belong with me". the original lyrics circles around a best friend who thinks she's better for the guy than his current girlfriend... i know, it happens. but then, here i was, thoroughly inspired.
soOoo... i'd suggest, in order to experience the full effect of my modifications, you should check out the original lyrics... to do so, please click here.
and when you're ready, here's mine...
"He Belongs To Me"
He’s on the phone with me
His girlfriend
I’m upset
You think I’m going off
bout something that he said
You don’t know what’s really happening
Like I do
You’re in your room
It's a typical Tuesday night
You’re listening to the kind of music
that I don't quite like
I’ll never know his story
Like you do
Cuz you’re his best friend
I’m his girlfriend
You’ve been around longer
Don’t mean you’re right together
Stop dreaming ‘bout the day
When he wakes up and find
That who he’s looking for
Has been you the whole time
Cuz can’t you see
That I'm the one
He’s chose to be with
You can tag along
But don’t forget that
He, he belongs to me
He belongs to me.
You’re walking the streets
With him and his worn out jeans
You can't help thinking
This is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench
Thinking to yourself
Hey, isn't this easy?
I know he’s got a smile
That could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in awhile
Since you brought him down
You say you're fine
He knows you better than that
Hey whatchu doing
Stressing him like that
Cuz I’m his girlfriend
You’re his best friend
Hangin’ ‘round longer
Don’t mean you’re right together
Stop dreaming ‘bout the day
When he wakes up and find
That who he’s looking for
Has been you the whole time
Cuz can’t you see
That I'm the one
He’s chose to be with
You can tag along
But don’t forget that
He, he belongs to me
You’ve been standing by
But here, I’m at his front door
All this time
How could you not know
that He,
He wants to be with me
Wanna be with me.
[Instrumental]
Oh, I know he’s been
Driving to your house
In the middle of the night
Sure I know you make him laugh
When you think he’s about to cry
But can’t you see its wrong
When he tells you bout his dreams
You’ve been selfish all along
Thinking he should leave me…
Can't you see
That i'm the one
He wants to be with
You’re just the friend all along
Why can't you see?
He belongs with me.
You’ve been standing by
But here, I’m at his front door
All this time
How could you not know
that He,
He wants to be with me
Wanna be with me.
Have you ever thought
Just maybe
He belongs with me?
in a nutshell, i just think it would be fair to give the girlfriend a little say in who her boyfriend should belong to/with. if i didn't have phrasing and rhyming restrictions, i would have much more to add to it. this was fun. :)
and mind you, random inspirations creep up! so i hope no one takes this personally. heck, i could fall for my best friend one day and think the same. who knows rite?
but right now, i just think, in the midst of getting caught up in what you think is best for you, lets not forget that we have no rights [best friend or not] to meddle in the romantic lives of others. especially if you dare call yourself a best friend.
because truth is, if its not our relationship, we really don't know whats happening. so lets not be so quick to criticize two people's relationship, no matter how peculiar it may seem to us. how else can you explain hot girls dating frogs and hot guys dating mules, right? :)
again, just my two cents.
p.s.here's the instrumental version of the song if you wanna try out my lyrics. HAHA :)
i got teary watching some ronaldo videos on youtube, especially the goodbye tributes. i hate that he's leaving for real. i know, $80m is alot. and sure real is great, but how can this be good for him?
at united, he's our star man. [i'm not saying we dont have other awesome players. cuz WE DO! glory glory!] but at real, he's just gonna find himself having to battle it out with all the other big names. and thats IMO such unnecessary pressure! for a 24 year old, it might mess around with his head... and then what? become beckham? [a celeb more than baller?] :(
and fergie wont be around to take care of him now. to set his mind straight and help him grow and mature as a player! to remind him that his game means more than fame! that teamwork and hardwork matters!... and omg, imagine if him and paris hilton strikes it up again. yyyuuuccckk.... :(
sigh... i'm so devastated. but i do wish him all the best. i hope he continues focusing on his game and improving his skills and pushing himself to be the best. i hope he doesnt loose his mind being around those big shots and all that 'competition'. i hope he remembers his passion and what matters. i hope he carries himself well and make right decisions. sigh. SIGH.
anyway, blues and rues aside... i made something to cheer myself up! nothing like some good ol' sheldon street fun! -
if only i studied IT... i'd be packing my bags to fly to manchester for this job right now. argh! to all web designers out there who are die hard MU fans, good luck!! this is your opportunity!
speaking of the amazingness of MU, they're officially 1 point away from retaining their EPL title! a title hat trick people!! woot wooot!! :) last night they came back from the dead and beat wigan 2-1...
the only unfortunately thing about that match is that ronaldo may be turning into the next beckham. he's truly beginning to piss off the boss man. who dares shout at fergie?! tsk tsk tsk. my boy really needs a knock on the head. & REALIZE HE SHOULD NOT MOVE TO REAL!!! :'(
ANYWAY... i'm addicted to PCD's bottle pop's official video clip. only cause the girls are so sexy. nicole in particular. i love the whole face art thingie she has going on in there. and the winks... im always a sucker for winks.
oooH... borderline sounding gay now. im gonna shut up. just watch -
aaaand... you're gonna call me super outdated, but suddenly, i find myself really liking taylor swift's love story. i just read the lyrics today, and thought, "hey... this is actually really sweet." and really sweet is a good thing. :)
maybe i can get D to play it while i try out the vocals. *hint hint* check it -
been working on a video today that ended up getting too personal. so, i left it off youtube because that is the smart thing to do. here's however one that's been filtered and edited for your viewing pleasure (if you can be bothered to)... hehe behold... the "sneak peek" into my personal life beyond the words -
funny how this video was made after yet another argument with my guy. guess this video would either be "part 1" or "part 1 and only"... we'll see.
nevertheless, he did make me very happy.
can't really jinx myself when i've already said "he did" right?
when you're in a relationship, tough times are inevitable. but how many rough times do couples have to go through before they can agree that there're simply too many 'rough times' and that the fact is, they're just not right for each other?
here's another question:
the longer you are in a relationship, the more you'd learn about one another. sure. but why use these "know hows" about each other to start preempting each other's reactions and thoughts? especially the negative things? and using these negative things to make 'negative predictions' of you, giving you no chance at all to prove yourself otherwise?
for EXAMPLE, he says...
"i know you're gonna sleep late and then be tired when you see me tomorrow. if that's the case, i'd be annoyed, so maybe we should cancel tomorrow?"
how its annoying? [if you can't already work it out yourself] :
x. so if i want to keep u happy tomorrow, i cannot show signs of fatigue at all?
x. so if i don't cancel, it means i'm promising to no keep tomorrow at high energy at all times?
x. so if i do end up seeming tired, you're gonna patronize me and claim your right to be annoyed because of your earlier 'prediction'?
x. ...and then after that, any future plans we have will have to go according to your predictions because you were right the first time?
SORRY. i know i'm overthinking. but i'm just so freakin annoyed. see, if you wanna express your concerns, how about trying it with a less condescending tone? like, "i hope you get enough rest tonight so we can have lots of fun tomorrow." - how hard is that?
argh. hate it when plans are spoilt before they even begin.
***
ON a completely different note, MU won FC Porto!!! the UEFA champs are soOo staying in the battle to retain their title!! woot woot!! AND... the cherry on the cake? - RONALDO SCORED THE WINNING GOAL! and it wasn't just another goal, it was an AWESOME one! wooOoohOooo!!! my baby is awesomeeeeeeeeeee................... :) :) :)
been hooked on listening to the old stuff today. old stuff, meaning whitney and mariah. :) truly trulyyy the best singers of their time. watching them sing together gave me goosebumps. they're so different, yet both awesomeee in their own way...
***
You look in my eyes and I get emotional inside I know it’s crazy, but you still can touch my heart And after all this time you think that I wouldn’t feel the same But time melts into nothing, and nothing's changed
I still believe Someday you and me Will find ourselves In love again
I Still Believe - Mariah Carey
I'd give my all to have Just one more night with you I'd risk my life to feel Your body next to mine 'Cause I can't go on Living in the memory of our song I'd give my all for your love tonight
My All - Mariah Carey
I'd given up hope Losing the faith that love Could be mine to treasure And now nothing's the same I found myself reborn On the day I met you
Lead the Way - Mariah Carey
***
love the music back then. they're more straight forward, with lyrics that are more honest with "love". back then, i can imagine people writing these songs, honestly believing each word could be or is true. now... hmm. all we're left with are skeptics and cynics. sigh.
i'll leave u with a lesson i learnt from "exhale", a whitney houston movie i watched today -
'when you finally meet the right man, you will exhale.'
away with the bad and muddy aura thats clouding my blog from my previous post; time to smile and glee because the sun still shines and the night air is still crisp.
i foresee my this week to be full of expenditures. [still trying to keep the 'up' vibe, altho its already threatening to fade] - this week, i've got 2 (or maybe 3) parties, 1 birthday, and possibly another friday night out with sheensie poo. :) [mood back on a high]... the $$ spent will be worth it.
and to continue the good vibes, here's a short but ever so sweet one from gabe bondoc - [aww... sheena might be right. i really might be forming a crush on this YTS!]
ooh... look what i found of gabe and his friends! a whole different way to "jam"...[fast forward to the middle of this clip (i personally recommend 7:40 on the first vid) if you dont wanna watch the whole thing] soooo funnnn....!!
hung out with phoon almost the entire day yesterday. we talked and played music and laughed and sung. it was good. wasn't awkward, i think? - and the level of comfort was still there. it was a good feeling. :)
and well, if he's feeling brave and generous, maybe he'd post up the song we wrote together. HAHA. *hint hint* [but dont get your hopes up guys - he's a closet singer]
anywayz, i got home last nite and found this old CD from ting fung. inside held videos of my last day in all saints high school, mostly of my girls and my class, 5 Bakawali. god did i laugh my heart out! everyone looked ridiculous!! lol i cant wait to share it with the rest of the world... they'd probably hate me, but im sure they'd love it at the same time.
until i get that video edited [cuz i dont really wanna post the entire 49 minutes], enjoy this one i whole-heartedly put together of my best buddy, ivan lean -
[maybe now people will see and understand (or get more confused) as to why ivan means so much to me]
"i dont need a man, i dont need a man! - when you finally admit that you need him, that's love." - quote from 'three can play that game'
love huh? hmm.
[re: my previous post] bec was really good. her guitarist, ben, a member of a tazzie band 'the invisible boys' was really good too. now im inspired to perform at open mic nites! will def put more effort into writing, playing and singing. :)
till then, i'll leave you with a heart warming youtube talent, gabe, [thanks for intro-ing him to me, D!] who wrote this song for his youtube crush. i think its really sweet :) -
derek and i attempted a mraz song, lucky. :) weehee!
derek made us all"bah kut teh" tonite. we went to his place and had a good nite with all the awesome food and dessert. thanks derekz!! it was yummerzz!!
the nite before, sheensie and i decided to have a night out. i told myself i wanted to get hammered. [altho i knew i wouldnt really let myself get to that state] so leon took us and yumi to "little jumbo", where the cocktails were yuMmmmMmm... :)
zombie. the cocktail that's out there to kill. hahaHa leon had that, and got me a modified version of it cuz i wanted a minty taste and the hot bartender was up for the make-up-your-own-drink challenge. [awesome choice leon! ^^]
i was fine after emptying my taaaall glass, plus a couple of gulps from leon's. that was until we hit "embassy" and the music oozed its way into my head. i felt like i had all the energy in the world to dance the whole nite away! :)
it was a fun nite. im definitely going back to embassy next time.
"ai mei" is mandarin, typically used to describe a situation for when you silently have a crush on someone, and you can't be sure whether he feels the same for you. roughly anyway. [upon further research, the word apparently translates to 'ambiguity'. hmm.]
selina said to me today, "i've never seen u this way. you're usually very straight forward with the guys that you like." - sigh. not with this guy. i have been, but i cant anymore.
whats wrong with me? :( selina says it 'ai mei'. she tells me that its one of the best feelings. i find it a torture. selina says she's never seen me go through it, and she'd love to see me feeling this way a little longer. so much for being my best cousin. :) hmm...
lol wynna accepted a "blockbuster" challenge today put to her by sheen and i. game on. ;) this will be an interesting social experiment. wynna just needs to clean her ears a bit. lol
check this out. good dancing - good song [duffy's mercy]. since watching this, this song always make me wanna boogie. :)
oooh im so tired. been working alot. gonna start packing tomorrow. stan sent me our sydney trip plan today. sounds fun, but too short!! :( stan, u shud stay on sunday nite, and drive to work at 3am. :)
watched "make it happen" today with the girls. about burlesque dancing. u know, the sensual, get-in-touch-with-your-sexuality kinda thing. hot hot hot. might try out some mooooves in sydney. i think stan mentioned clubbing a couple of times in our plan. ;) hmm... wonder what else i can sink my nails into while im there. ;) ;)
derek took his parents to meet me at work today. :) so schweeet!! gonna see them this thursday in sydney. that'd be fun! i miss family-ness! gonna hog derek's family time. :)
on sunday, sheensie and i felt up for something different. when an invitation came to hangout, we thought... "hmm... why not spice up our monday nite?" and made that date.
no regrets. :) sheensie and i had lots of fun hangin with leon and jason foo at jfoo's place. ooh.. and mr jim beam. lets for forget him. he gave us some good times... checkie checkie in the vid below -
contents of vid - 1) drinking game; 2) lap dance; 3) twirling; 4) smoochies...
anyhoOoo... i just have to post these pics up too.
beforeeee any alcohol made its way down our systems, we managed to play a few rounds of tekken AND... muahahHa... [warning: the guys will deny it or claim loss of memory]
ooh... and my favourite pic of the nite! -
we both thought she looked like a japanese tourist. lol
oooh... 30 mins to MU's match! glory glory!! time for a win boys!!!!
