.greener grass.

just finished watching "the last song" by myself...

it made me wonder..

why can't all relationships be like that?

I want to be loved like that too :'((

***

.dear john; sobs.

i watched "dear john" today and walked out of the cinema feeling like someone just stabbed me in the heart. i must've started crying half way into the movie, and it didn't stop thereafter.

perhaps the 'saying goodbye' and 'i hope to see you again' parts hit me a little too close to home.

its my personal weakness. and i imagine i keep getting weaker on the subject every time i have to say goodbye to yet another person i care deeply about. 5 times now. the whole airport scene and the 'try to smile through the pain so he doesn't worry about u' mandatory act... mmmmm.... not pleasant at all.

back to the movie: i wouldn't say its the best. the notebook trumps without a doubt. but it was still heartfelt. definitely tugged at my heart strings and left me feeling blooody emo after. :(

not a fan of the ending though. could've smoothened that out a bit more... or even cut it out entirely and left it at that emotional peak. if you watched it, you probably know what i mean. i don't wanna spoil it for anyone else.

would i recommend it? - if u enjoyed "the time traveler's wife" and absolutely looooved "the notebook" - YES. :)

now, should i watch "remember me"?

.recommended.

i watched "the time traveler's wife" today with selina... and it broke my heart.

i miss erwann so much.

.shall we dance: movie quote.

watched "shall we dance" today, starring richard gere, susan sarandon & j.lo.

... and i thought the line in the video above should most definitely be quoted -

when asked about her take on why people get marriage, susan sarandon's character says:

" ... because we need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'. "

also, i was trying to find my favourite scene from the movie on youtube, but somehow only the foreign languaged ones popped up... [i guess it'll just have to do for now. aaand you might have to watch the whole movie to feel the gravity and emotions of this particular part of the movie... ]

ps: if you're reading this post but not seeing the video, that's cuz u're reading from my automatic facebook note update rather than my original blog post on blogger... [i'm sure there's a link to the original post somewhere.]

.say i'm a bird! [from the notebook].

watched the notebook with my darling tonight...

if you've watched it, you'll remember the "say i'm a bird!!" part? :)

well, after the movie, i hugged my sweetheart and said to him, "say i'm a bird..."

he laughed. "you can't use the same one babe."

"okay, say i'm a snail!" i chirped. [i dont know why a snail... it was the first thing that popped to mind]

... "if you're a snail, i'm a snail."

:) c'mon everybody! *awww in unison!*

... and then he said, "baby... whats a snail?"

-_-"

*it was later worked out that he didn't get my pronounciation, rather than not understand the word. haha afterall, frogs, snails... isn't that what french people live to eat? haHa!

.happily never after?.

watch this movie when you're in your mid to late twenties. when you're thinking about marriage and commitment. when you think you're ready for marriage and all you see are rosy beds leading you into your awesome future with your one and only. ok, maybe dont watch this movie.

see, i dont know if this is reality... but it sure as hell makes your head (mine) spin. i know i knowww... real life is not a hollywood movie. and relationships? c'mon... mum and dad did it, why can't we, right? *sigh* honestly? i dont know...

people are just so different nowadays. we care more about having excitement in life. we're more competitive and greedy. more easily bored. we're harder to satisfy. easier influenced by our peers and surrounding. we're smarter with excuses and justifications of our 'wrong' actions. we just want all we think we deserve.

and ok ok, maybe not YOU. but, what about that person you chose to spend the rest of your life with? you may be sure that you won't. that you're satisfied. but how about them? how can you be sure he/she feels the same? that they're equally committed? that their head is as straight as yours?

that's right. you don't know.

good luck.

.disappointing day.

well, to be fair, its currently only the first half of the day... but the amount of disappointment i've felt has made me just want to crawl in bed and wake up tomorrow. [with hopes that it'll be better than today]

i guess the whole world now knows that united put up a very weak fight against barca this morning in the UEFA champs league final this morning. i felt its the result of making wrong decisions from step one. *cough*anderson*cough* but oh well, gratz to barca. a truly worthy opponent.

after the match, my guy called and i snapped at him because it sure didnt take alot for him to irritate me that morning. my mood was like piss (like wee wee) after the match, mainly because it didnt suffice to swear at my players, so i ended up complaining about puyol. [sorry barca fans, i HAD to blame someone!] 

ANYWAY... not grasping the "never defend your girlfriend's enemy; i'd rather you shut up" concept [especially when she's obviously just venting her frustration], he told me not to attack puyol for united's loss. granted, the phone conversation ended very abruptly.

i then rushed to my staff meeting in the city, dreading the $6.00 + 2 hours travel for just a one hour meeting. not to mention the pain of carrying around a low mood in a very tired body.

when that was over, i texted my poor bubby and told him i'm sorry for snapping at him. no reply. when i got home half an hour later, i texted him again to ask if he was doing anything today and if i could come over to hang. no reply.

another half hour later, feeling all remaining energy sucked out of my body from watching endless youtube videos, i texted him to say i wont be coming. he then called. apparently he had fallen back asleep after the match. he told me to come, but i truly couldn't find the energy to. (mind u, he lives on the gold coast, 45 minutes drive away) so the conversation again, ended awkwardly... and again, i'm left feeling down.

anyway, in the midst of my melodramaticness... i found a few movies that i've decided to watch aaaand i'm gonna share them with you [the link takes u to their trailer on youtube] -

• obsessed - starring beyonce knowles.
  
• the ghost of girlfriends past - starring matt mcconaughey & jen garner
• the ugly truth - starring kathetine heigl & gerard butler

.phone, money, calls, anniversarry & movies.

choices for my new mobile

im due to upgrade my mobile next month. 

i HAD my mind set on the nokia e71 (white)... until i realised, maybe i really didn't need all that extra functions. as tech-savvy as i am *ahem*, a phone really is just a phone to me. so i rebrowsed the three website and found the samsung f480 (pink) pretty appealing.

here are the considerations that are affecting my choice -

x. nokia is on the $49, samsung is $29: essentially, all i need is $29.

x. to access the internet via the nokia, i need to pay another $5 extra per month. doesn't seem much, but it adds up. and really, is it necessary?

x. future use: nokia is more business-like with internet access and etc. (ivan told me how he emailed his resume to a company DURING the interview. i thought that was cool.)

x. three stores might not have the pink samsung.

x. my baby thinks i'd make use of the nokia functions once i get it. (he was the one who convinced me that im 'tech savvy' - hehee)
x. review says that the samsung is lags alot. dammit.

now... WHICH DO YOU THINK? - help please? :)

3 to 3 free calls

one week into my new billing cycle and my free calls on both phones (total = 600 minutes) has been used up. crikey!! my baby and i got addicted to the phone. 2 hours a day on average, its no wonder we're dried. :( hopefully we'll do better next month.

anniversarry

3 months since my baby and my first date. :) we celebrated with champagne and lots of kisses. 

today he accidentally said "i love you" after i helped him with something. it was funny. we both fell into an awkward silence for a few seconds, knowing it wasn't really an "i love you" but still felt weird because those words, for the first time were spoken out loud. HAHA... he's lucky i'm not some freak, otherwise i would've start packing my bags to move to france :)

smart movies

my baby has been exposing me to different type of movies lately. ones that were completely unlike my usual rom-coms. well, i'd say, like all 'girlfriends', we tend to conform. (ask sheena why she started watching kill bill - haha!)

so this week at blockbuster, i rented -

x. good will hunting (it was pretty good)

x. million dollar baby (yet to watch)

next week, i'll be renting -

x. gladiator (not really looking forward)

x. the bodyguard

x. ... some al pacino movie. (will reconfirm title later)

he also said i MUST watch "sweeny todd". wynna is gonna roll her eyes. she's been trying to get me to watch it since forever. well, now it looks like i will be giving it a shot after all.

lastly, movies me babe and i are yet to watch -

x. pixar's cars (his choice)

x. twilight (ours)

x. jerry maguire (his choice for me)

x. the bodyguard (his for me)

x. sweeny todd (his choice)

x. the latest x-men (his choice - i havent agreed)

ok.
*yawn*

'nuff said.

bed time.

.bucket list.

something i thought i must share. :)

so, i've been thinking. to succeed, i really need to build my self confidence in the legal world... hence, i will be seriously considering volunteering at the caxton legal centre for experience. i just hope i qualify for it... imagine not even qualifying for volunteer work. sigh.

anywayz, i watched 'the bucket list' last night with the girls. it was pretty good. very touching. made me think alot... made me wanna start a list of my own. i know derek, ivan and i have a list, but those are short term ones... now i want a long term. and a serious one. so, we'll see.

hmm. the movie also showed us how having filthy rich friends can really help. HAHA. but no, we're not that shallow. *ahem*

ANYWAY... if you had the choice to know exactly when u're gonna die, do you wanna know? so u can do all u wanna do and plan everything u possible can? or would u prefer to live everyday the way u do now (perhaps taking advantage of each breath) and not know until the time comes?

i think i don't wanna know.

.14 feb 2009.

:) happy valentines day peeps. have an awesome one! whether you're single or doubled, it can still be a fun day! just got to think and feeeeel positive!

i was single last year and had a blast eventhough i did nothing in particular. single, comfortable and confident is an attraction girls. don't ever forget that. ;) as for this year... :) yes, i have plans. so i guess we'll see how that turns out.

oh hey, i watched "he's just not that into you" today... i wouldn't call it awesome, but it definitely educated their viewers! (especially those who hasn't read the awesome book) i enjoyed it alot. loved many lines! (but i shouldn't spoil it for you by listing them here)

and McMel, if you're reading this, i'm sorry i watched it without you girls! im sure u will still enjoy watching it with selina and the others! ;) or who knows... maybe i'd go again. :) *hugs*

happy valentines!

.numbness.

i watched before sunrise and its sequel, before sunset again. everytime i watch the two films, it'd leave me feeling rather emotional. i need to remember that, so i dont keep putting myself through it over and over again... but i just like it so much.

the gist of the movie is "connection". the automatic connection two people feel when around each other. the first show focuses on two youths and their hopes and dreams about love; whilst the sequel tells us about growing up, dealing with your past, and the realities of life and love.

"guess when you're young, you just believe there'll be many people with whom you'll connect with. later in life, you realize it only happens a few times."

i honestly dont know how to describe the two shows... its just... so... real. it always hit something in me. im not sure if its a good thing. sigh. this time, it was julie delpy's line when she said -

"i'm so miserable in my love life, my relatioship. i always act as, like, u know, i'm detached. but i'm dying inside. i'm dying because i am so numb. i don't feel pain or excitement, i'm not even bitter, i'm just..." [end of line]

i dont know. feeling numb. i think i know what she means. in that case, does that also mean goodbye to ever feeling that i've actually found 'love'?

.normal vs the unknown difference.

hmmph. dont know why the above image is turning out so small, but the point is... since when does facebook send out 'malay' notifications? if u cant see it, it says, "Sing-Yee Chua juga menulis komen pada gambar Sherwynna Lee"... why? why ah? i just found that odd.

so, wynna bought us tickets to watch the fray and secondhand serenade at the tivoli on the 21st march. i feel like i should be studying again... as in, their songs. the same way i had to listen to panic! the whole day before i joined wynna at their concert. lol but it will be another fun experience... oh, i think thats where all my ang pau money went too.

my 'detach-y' feeling from my normal world is still happening. things are changing, i get it. i just feel torn between wanting to think about it, which would make me enjoy everything less... or just going with the flow, which would keep me obliviously happy but stuck in these moments over and over again. hmm. u tell me?

***

something i learned from 'definitely, maybe' -

its not about who the one is... its when. 

when u are ready to commit, 

the person u meet then will be the one.

.while watching the golden globe.

SO derek, selina and my birthday party plans are quickly coming together. saturday @ friday's riverside. should be fun? will keep u posted.

"just another cinderella story" - yep, a chick flick. very teenage in fact. but i really liked it. a big reason could be becuz the guy really looks like c.ronaldo. that got me hooked on the show really quick. also, the fact that it revolves around dance and music. :) - oh, and romance of course.

andrew seeley (ronaldo look-alike?)

anywayz, im gonna shower and sleep. *yawwwwn* btw... my eyes might have an infection. im still coughing and sneezing, my throat is still burning and my eyes are constantly watering. sigh. wish me luck. may i be well, fun and fabulous by saturday night!!!

.EX-pectations.

my gurl friend, sheena turned 22 today!! [note the space between the word gf; i dun wanna offend wynna] we went to fat louie in the city, right before midnight and had a couple of drinks. it was a small group, but enough to create big laughs. thanks to the alchie.

today is also daddy's birthday! so happy birthday daddy!!! :) *sobs* i miss dad. :( ok, lets change the subject before i tear up. sigh. wish i was home...

***

ANYWAY,
on a random note, i realized another thing about myself today...

i can have pretty weird expectations, and yes, i'm thinkin about something specific. ex boyfriends related. i realized how, despite breaking up, i kinda expect my ex boyfriends to be great guys. lol yes, im serious!

its like... i kinda expect that months or years down the track, i can meet them again or hear stories about them about great or nice things they've done or said or accomplished. im not sure if the satisfaction is for them or for me. maybe i just enjoy the feeling of telling people - "yea, that great guy... i dated him once." - a reflection of my good taste perhaps?

then again, i guess some may say, "that great guy that sherlene lost." - BUT, nah... thats silly. after all, there are many guys out there who'd do and accomplish nice/great things. i cant have them all now can i? :) HENCE, the way i see it... realistically, i should be proud enough just knowing i was the object of that great person's affection once. :) i'm a real nutter, huh?

and hey, it doesnt necessarily have to be something life changingly awesome, it could just be something nice. like, this one time i remember sheena mentioning -

• she was out having dinner with friends one night when she met both her and my ex boyfriend with their friends. when she told me that they left the restaurant earlier, i instantly asked, "did jason say hi?" - expecting my ex boyfriend to have the courtesy to do so despite us already broken up...

hehehee... i know. u probably think its too much, rite? seee... i told u... weird expectations!

but, in case you're wondering, yes. he did go over and said hello. and i thought that was very sweet. :) that said, congratulations on your recent accomplishment, jason! :)

p.s. i watched "laws of attraction" today. quite liked it. but it puzzled me... dont american lawyers see a conflict of interest when a husband and wife act as attorneys for opposing parties in a case? *too lazy to research*

.shivers.

sheena rented "closer"... we just watched it. im left feeling... exhausted. imagine relationships with so much regret, hurt, deceit, selfishness, grudge and brutal honesty. *shivers*

and i cant believe how many times the word "love" was thrown around. how cheap. *shivers*

oooh.... and u know another thing to shiver about?

a customer came into my store today, looking for an amethyst ring for a girl. [late 20s, white, blonde and skinny] found him one, and proceed to have a chat about it. i then slot it on my finger to show it to him, to which he commented "looked good one me."

from there, it just got weird. despite my unfailling effort to keep the conversation around the ring and the girl he was buying it for, he started pointing out more rings instead, and asking me to try them on for him. he then said he would get those rings for me if i was his girlfriend and that he has totally forgotten about his girl. (???)

he asked me whether i was taken. i said, yes.

after more uncomfortable chats (on my end, anyway), my colleague and work-mum, regina came to my rescue and told me she needed my help when im done serving my customer (not true)... and he got the hint.

*shiverssssssss*

no, he wasnt my type.

ANYWAY... found this quote from "closer" quite memorable -

Dan: I fell in love with her, Alice.
Alice: Oh, as if you had no choice? There's a moment, there's always a moment, "I can do this, I can give into this, or I can resist it", and I don't know when your moment was, but I bet you there was one.

.love & music.

"i dont need a man, i dont need a man! - when you finally admit that you need him, that's love." - quote from 'three can play that game'

love huh? hmm.

[re: my previous post]
bec was really good. her guitarist, ben, a member of a tazzie band 'the invisible boys' was really good too. now im inspired to perform at open mic nites! will def put more effort into writing, playing and singing. :)

till then, i'll leave you with a heart warming youtube talent, gabe, [thanks for intro-ing him to me, D!] who wrote this song for his youtube crush. i think its really sweet :) -

.all in the mixing bowl!.

watched sex and the city's movie with the girls again tonite. its finally out on DVD. now we just have to wait until the full DVD is out, as in, the one complete with the special features. :) absolutely love SATC. :) - i reckon it was better watching it the 2nd time around.

spent an afternoon with leon today. we had a plan! he was suppose to do his assignment, and i was suppose to do up my resume. we were suppose to be each other's motivation. but well, that didn't work. not at all. is anyone surprised? haha... bum + bum = some major bumming!

these few days have been filled with exes. (ok, i meant past guys in my life) as mentioned, i met up with jason the other day. two nights ago, andres gave me a nite to remember on msn. ;) then last nite, i learnt that terrence has got a new gf. tonite, i bumped into jimmy while driving home from sunnybank. ooh... not to mention the dream i had a couple of nites ago about derek, groovy and shafeeq. that was quite a scary one. hmm... the names are getting pretty overwhelming huh?

moooving on... i reckon, after the past few ex-filled days, this horoscope reading couldn't possibly have better timing:

also, this reading served as yet another reason to stand firm on the decision i made in my last post. hmmph. i am strong. i can live without it. (sheena knows what i mean)

.got it all wrong.

being single has given me lots of time to sit back and reflect on my past romantic encounters. some claim i have a dating pattern, u know, a pattern from when i meet the guy, to when we start dating, up till the day we cry and say goodbye.

i tried identifying it and i think i have, but i shall not list the "process" here to spare whats left of my good image.

one thing i will say however is that i think i suck at identifying healthy relationships. guess that would naturally impair my ability to form one too? funny how even when watching drama series like "one tree hill", i find myself liking brooke with felix more than anyone else...

and if ur not familiar with OTH, felix is not the best person in the world and their romance ended quite badly... but hmm, i wonder - is it because felix is hot? or is it the bad boy with the soft side that im attracted to? or is it the passion they share? or is it because felix is just sooo wonderful to brooke and i want that too?

that said, im quite sick of getting into any more blah relationships. they exhaust me, and not to mention, strengthens my "guard" against men, which will soon turn me into an iron lady with an inability to ever love again.

but haha... as u can see, at least i'd still be a drama queen. ;)

.etc etc.

lol wynna accepted a "blockbuster" challenge today put to her by sheen and i. game on. ;) this will be an interesting social experiment. wynna just needs to clean her ears a bit. lol

check this out. good dancing - good song [duffy's mercy]. since watching this, this song always make me wanna boogie. :)

oooh im so tired. been working alot. gonna start packing tomorrow. stan sent me our sydney trip plan today. sounds fun, but too short!! :( stan, u shud stay on sunday nite, and drive to work at 3am. :)

watched "make it happen" today with the girls. about burlesque dancing. u know, the sensual, get-in-touch-with-your-sexuality kinda thing. hot hot hot. might try out some mooooves in sydney. i think stan mentioned clubbing a couple of times in our plan. ;) hmm... wonder what else i can sink my nails into while im there. ;) ;)

derek took his parents to meet me at work today. :) so schweeet!! gonna see them this thursday in sydney. that'd be fun! i miss family-ness! gonna hog derek's family time. :)

.dating resume?.

just finished watching coyote ugly with the girls - a line to remember:

"you are to appear available, but never be available."

anywayz, the girls were talking about one's "dating resume" and how important it is when you "interview" for the vacant boyfriend/girlfriend position. like it or not, unless you're already madly in lust in a person (where u'd already be too blind to see anything or make any sense), your resume will determine whether you actually get your foot in the door or not.

like bosses, people are soooo critical nowadays. and i guess it depends on what kinda boss you have and what their preference is, aaand what type of employee they're looking to employ according to their present need - whether permanent full-time, part-time or casual. hmmph.

i guess your resume will also determine how serious an employer will take you huh? sigh.

here are some possible interpretations (don't quote me on it) -

length of rship:
if your longest r'ship is really not long at all, people would think you're a player. however if its too long, they'd consider you a broken soul with a burdening past. im thinking, maybe a past r'ship of 2-3 years would be considered a good thing though? shows your ability to maintain a long but not too scaring r'ship? hmm.

who ends rship:
if you do most of the time, it shows you're a player. if not, you're a loser. if its always mutual, you're simply lame/ and its really not that believable.

usual reason for breaking up:
if there's a pattern, you have an illness. if there's none, you're full of problems, all over the place, so unsure of yourself, and/or simply a confused soul. how are we to believe you know what u want with us?

flings and exes:
too many means you're a whore/player. none means you're possibly a bad lover.

when ur rship ended:
too recent means you're not ready, too long ago means your past rship could've hurt you really badly and you're likely to be too broken for anyone else. how much time is enough time to heal?

no dating resume:
depending on your age, you could be considered weird. (tip: act like you're a workaholic, that's usually a good excuse)

sigh.
hey, a new song i like. heard this on the radio on my way home from work. not my usual type of music; it could've been my mood at the time. anyhoo...



united just scored against chelsea!
21 minutes; score chelsea 0 - 1 united. ;)