.my mantra; melanie says it works.

You know that feeling of having something and thinking "Oh Woww"...
Then realising you're not the only one,
and then feeling "ooh.." with that annoying pit-of-ur-stomach feeling at the end?

*nibbles own lower lip*

You know that feeling of seeing something that effects the pumping rate of ur heart,
and having to act like it didn't as much as made you flinch?

*sighs through nose, still nibbling lip*

You know that feeling of trying to box away emotions?
And how you successfully turned ur attention to something else for as long as 5 minutes,
then do a happy dance becuz u successfully NOT thought about it for that amount of time,
only to realise that now you're back to thinking about it again?
- and this time, it becomes twice as hard to re-box it?

*sucks in a gush of cold nite air*

Ok. Time to rebox.
I can't wait till this is over and I can look back at it,
and think... "That was soOo not worth it."

Its ok Sherlene.
You had it when it was at its best.
You know whats there,
and You know how it felt,
and that really was all you expected anyway.
So what if you don't stumble upon a bonus this time around?

And besides,
Be grateful that you already know how it would turn out.
Be grateful that the worst is over and dealt with.
Be grateful that you are no longer stuck in the rut.
And be grateful that now, to you, it is nothing but stale and unworthy.
And getting more and more unworthy too...
So unworthy that it would actually take effort to pick out the goodness in the failed attempt.

At least now you get another go in picking another course.
Realising that this time, it could be a better and healthier journey.
And this time,
You also get to remind yourself to be more careful too.

Yea, soon you'll really see it...
Soon you'll see pass the bitterness of this past.
Soon you will truly embrace this opportunity to free yourself from all the undeserving committments.
Soon you'll see how wrong HE is.
You will.