.if given the choice...

was chatting with daddy about ELN today and it made me realize one thing...

despite wanting sooo much to travel to france to see him again, if given the choice, i might say no.

reason being-

if i do get to go there, even for month to see him... what then? we pick things up from where we left off, then... what? - i leave again. and once again, we're back to "i dont know when i'll ever see him again"... which will also put us back to square one in terms of trying to be okay without each other.

sigh.

i dont need more reasons to feel that this guy is perfect for me. :(

okay. time to refocus.

CAREER.

a great one too.

yes.

thats where i'm heading.

*exhale*