.my list just got more serious.

4 years ago... i wrote a list (for fun)... i reviewed it a year ago and still believed it. and whether its healthy for me or not, i still think that list is bloody awesome.

... because despite what others may believe, i honestly and sincerely believe i found him. a guy who really pulled off becoming "the closest to perfection". its almost like he read the list and programmed himself to suit.... *....hmm - naaah...* but go figure.

since then... i learnt more. *yeap, you can shake your head in disapproval now* - but in all seriousness... from my recent adventure, i actually found more... "essentialties" in a relationship. [...yes, i created that word - pronounced 'essential-tees']

now, u don't have to agree with me, but here goes -

***

1. find someone you that makes you want to give them everything, not to show them how much you care or to prove your love for them, not even "because they deserve it", but because you honestly can't tell yourself not to.

2. find someone that you can trust to never give up on you because you failed them or yourself or the relationship; someone who would instead pump in more effort and energy to make things right for the both of you because they know u're in this together, especially when one is momentarily weak.

3. find someone who would stand up for you against any negativity when you need them to, in a way that shows they honestly believe in you and your ability and strength, not because you can't stand up for yourself, but because they can sense your vulnerability in your silence without you having to express it.

4. find someone who would, despite whatever they believe in, always make you feel assured and confident in their special affection and care for you, especially when it matters most.

5. find someone who sees you both as one against everything else; not meaning to rob each other of the ability to stand on your own and be independent, but as one against anything that tries to break you two apart.

***

now i really can say goodbye to finding mr.perfect, huh?

thats alright, i'll feed my soul with a successful career and be one of those woman with no soul and a steel heart. hey... that could come in handy in some areas of law, don't you think? ;)