It is officially "Day 3".
I survived 3 days of being out of my 6 months relationship.
In fact, today was suppose to be our 6 months anniversary...
I didn't think about that until now.
*feels a pain cut through my already-broken heart*
I went to work today.
It was great to be out of my room,
and away from people who knows and cares about my break up.
(not that I do not appreciate those who cares)
I managed to work a 5 hours shift without breaking down.
Although when my boss asked and I told him,
I couldn't fight the sudden urge to fall apart as tears attacked my eyes.
I didn't let the tear fall though...
Deep breaths helps alot.
Im pretty determined to follow my "One Day at a Time" Plan to get over this break up.
On "Day 1",
I spent the entire day alone,
Crying, watching DVDs and skipping meals...
ooH, and not forgetting the old trick of listening to sappy broken-heart songs.
On "Day 2",
I got up and instantly pushed out the bad morning-after feeling.
I took a shower and dressed up.
Met up with Ivan and went shopping.
I got myself the earring I had always wanted,
and also bought myself a new purse.
The new purse was my indication of a new start.
It also helped that I was with Ivan,
Cuz naturally, from bottling up so much terrible emotions,
My mood became CRAZY.
I lashed out on Ivan MANYYY times,
(Trust me, You dont wanna be him!)
But because he was such a dear friend,
He just sat back and allowed me to punch and hurt him.
*sorry Van.. but thx for being there*
On the night of Day 2,
I allowed myself to let lose after a whole day of trying to "hold it in".
Again, I drown myself (and Ivan) in another round of tears.
That same night,
I allowed myself to speak my true feelings.
"I wanna call him.."
"I miss him..."
"I wish we didn't break up..."
"I waNt him back so badly!"
I also went out to seek advice from a friend whom I knew would understand.
I told her how much I regretted the break up,
and after I told her why,
(because there is a good reason why I should in fact regret)
She affirmed me that I HAD in fact made a wrong move.
Eventhough she supported my regrets,
(which would supposedly make me regret even more)
I couldn't help but feel much much better that someone understood how I truly felt.
At the same time,
It made me stronger and more determined to stick to the way things are.
I am not going to turn back.
I'm standing strong on this path,
and shall continue walking on.
(I know its weird how a girl's mind works)
Then again,
Despite the toughness in those words above...
That same night,
I allowed myself to hug Groovy's t-shirt to bed.
Today is "Day 3".
I had lunch with Ivan and talked about things that kept my mind off the break up.
I had lots of chocolate to boost my mood,
and then went to work and enjoyed the neutral company.
I didn't get time to drown in self-pity or sit around and mope.
So that was good.
Currently...
Im in my room.
I complied a list of sad songs,
and again,
I'm rewarding myself for being able to keep it together for another day,
by allowing myself to be drown in my loneliness with sad songs.
It may sound sad,
But it is really relaxing.
Bottling up feelings aint good...
Avoiding the pain isn't good either...
So while Im alone in my room right now,
I should be able to be true to myself and my feelings.
Cuz only if you're willing to deal with it, will you eventually overcome it.
Yea,
Thats gonna be my motto.
ps: Ronaldo scored another goal for United,
and won the Player of the Month award AGAIN.
That was a real mood lifter.
Man Utd 3 - 1 Aston Villa : YAY!
No comments:
Post a Comment