October 11, 2009

.day 5: post 4th october.

sorry for the melodramatic-ness... just sorta keeping a diary of my progress here. if you don't mind. its therapeutic. :)

just noting that i have been fine. its sunday already. that makes it a week since he's left my side. feels like eternity. i'm not lonely, but i just feel incomplete without him. BUT i have been fine. the strength to hang on and continue being fine is still strong...

although, as you would've noticed... the title of the post highlights "day 5"...

because on the night of day 5, i crashed... a little.

it was unexpected, because i thought i had my basis covered. i've blocked out the things i shouldn't be thinking about, but somehow one innocent thought killed me. it was weird.

i was under my quilt, snuggling up, when i thought to myself "my new quilt is awesome. so fluffy. so comfortable. awesome buy!" - thats when i recalled how him and i had bought it together 2 weeks before he left, becuz i needed a bigger quilt for my new double bed... and how he's kept the little sample piece of the quilt with him, like a little pillow.

those thoughts then led to me, recalling all the times we went shopping together. laughed together. embarrassed one another. annoyed the crap outta each other. - and with those sweet but poisonous thoughts, i fell apart.

i just missed him so much. so so much. so much, i couldn't hold back the tears.

BUT... i'm okay now. its a new day. :)

TODAY, i bought a new pair of stilettos for $50! love it!! wore it to mouzam's engagement party. which reminds me, HAPPY ENGAGEMENT BUDDY!!!! you looked soOOo cuteee!!! - photos shall be uploaded soon!


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