.why do i even bother anymore?.

Im sick.
My nose is killing me.
I'm about to sneeze my nose off.
Im sick and trying not to fall into a pool of self-pity.
Cuz I know how destructive that can be.

With that thought,
I had another thought.

Why do I even bother feeling this low?

Its not like I've not kissed boyfriends goodbye at airports,
and never see them again, rite?

Technically, I should be immune to this scenario.

You see,
I fall for someone...
Then we spend months of crazy times together,
Build a bunch of tear-jerking memories,
I get convinced that I am in love,
(or at least I am at certain points)
And then suddenly I am told that we need to separate.
THEN THEN THEN...
Then comes the best part.

We get to the airport,
We hug,
We walk separate ways,
and I never see them again.

I'm only 22,
and that exact scenario has occurred... 4 times now.
Not one, Not two, Not three,
But FOUR!

Aside from the time with Shafeeq,
where we had to part becuz I was furthering my studies,
The other 3 times happened unexpectedly.

But expected or not,
It still hurts.
And I've cried my way through them all.
At least I did with the other 3...

This time around,
I only cried twice.
2 pieces of tissue.
Thats HUGE improvement.

Then again,
It's only the 2nd day.

Lets see how determind I can be.
(or more like, how immune i actually am)