.constantly switching?.

Both Yesterday and Today,
I've been placed in the position,
where a question is asked...
and Im forced to answer that question,
which would only reflect one thing:

"She's always changing boyfriends."

*sigh*

Yesterday,
My ex housemate (Julie) called.
She said,
"eeeei... new boyfriend ahh?"...
Cuz the last time I saw her,
I was still kinda with Shaz.

Then today,
I met Joe...
Joe is a Hong Kong friend I've had since foundation.
He introduced me to his girlfriend,
and referred to me as:
"My friend's girlfriend."

Then I went...
"aaah?"...
And he said, "no?"
And I said...
"ooH... shaz issit? umm... no more liao."
*blush*
Then he said,
"OoH okaay... So are u seeing anyone now?"...
And I said,
"umM... yea."

*sigh*
HONESTLY,
I dont change boyfriends as often as it seems!!
There are periods where I stay/remain singlee!!
It's just...
Some people dont bump into me during those periods of my life!
So Unfair!!

*blush*
(All this explaining ain't doing me any good, isnt it?)

But anywayz,
Today I was chatting with Mouzam.
Suddenly we started talking about what happened 3 years ago.
*ehem*... You know... :)
heHee...
Can't believe it's been 3 years since then!!

But it was fun to talk back about it.
How we use to play pool,
and how I've always been attracted to him playing pool.
HAHA...
Girls, you have to trust me.
When he's playin' pool...
His "hot-points" goes up even higher!!


Anyway...
Mouzam and I are totally fine now...
Yea, we still flirt, I still find him hot and etc,
But thats about it.
We both know that whatever happens,
We're friends.
And thats exactly how we both want it.
Its fun that way.

But ANYWAY...
(whoa... I've been using lots of "but(s)")
Im not really as flower-hearted as it looks rite?

Tomorrow...
Groovy and I have officially been together for 3 months.
That's got to mean something rite?

*hopeful*

.blue, yellow and red.

Reminder to myself:

Everyone should be able to relate to this.
This is a typical scenario involving BLUE, YELLOW and RED.


Well..
Have u ever been in situations where a friend comes to u when they're upset,
(sometimes not obviously upset,
but they're perhaps "bothered" nonetheless)
And they start telling u things...

Then... as the 3rd party in the situation your friend tells you about,
You're able to be the rational one.
As in,
You try to consider both sides,
and come up with reasons why so-and-so happened.

Then...
You tell your friend what u think.
(wrong move #1)

She/He gets even more pissed.
And slowly,
The conversation takes an odd turn,
Making it become a problem between You and Him/Her.
She/He starts attacking you personally.
(at least thats what you'd naturally feel like they're doing)
And what you do..?
You get all worked up,
and pissed in return!
(wrong move #2)


So basically you're BLUE, and they're RED.

But ITS NORMAL.

Ok... from there it gets tricky.
Well...
What happens then is you walk away,
and you find another friend to confide in. (Yellow)




And YELLOW, being the 3rd party would start evaluating the situation from both sides.
And this is where the problem is usually resolved.
(or should be resolved)
Cuz this yellow would reason with you (BLUE),
Gently reminding you that it started with the 1st person (RED) being pissed.
And the only reason why RED pissed u off,
Is becuz they're pissed.
And ULTRA-SENSITIVE when you guys had the talk.

And basically,
When a person is Ultra-Sensitive,
They dont think rationally.

Everything you say to them which isn't a sign of you agreeing to what they're saying would feel like an insult or an attack or a means to tell them that they're wrong.
It doesn't matter if you're being reasonable.
Therefore if you're not telling them they're right,
or that you feel sorry for them,
You're better off not saying anything!
Because it wont help.

Thats what I need to remind myself.

Some people, when they're upset, they just need others to listen.
So if you dont agree with what they said or did or think,
Bite your tongue and leave your comments for another time.
For now,
Focus on the fact that your friend is upset,
and You need to be there for them.
And there's only one way to do that:
"Stand on their side!"


(Its not even necessary to say anything,
so dont worry about being a hypocrit.)

So yea,
After tonite,
I'd say:

"Lesson Learnt."

(altho I cant promise that the next time this happens,
I'd be able to so quickly rationalise my behaviour and responce.)
*sigh*
I guess thats why there's always a need for YELLOW.

.a chat with manny.

Im at the lab right now.
Just bumped into Emmanuel,
and we had a funny chat.

That doofus is really playful!
We talked about how I can get my Australian PR hassle-free.
And how?
MARRY HIM.

*lol*
Then he started asking me how much he'd have to pay my parents.
And we evaluated my worth,
Considering I've got a clean sheet,
a degree and I've never been a prostitute.
muaHhahaa...

And he's pretty happy with the Aus-Msia currency exchange rate.
Cuz if Im worked out to be worth a million ringgit,
He'll only have to chuck out half a million Aussie.
*lol*

And I'm getting alot out of this bargain too.
He's got dual citizenship, both Aus and Greek.
He said I'd be able to get it too!

haHaa...
Maybe this isnt such a bad plan afterall.

^^

*lol*
see how studying law can mess up people?

.what i dont wanna feel.

I know I want to write something...
But I can't seem to put it in words.
This feeling...
Its really confusing.
And embarrassing.
And I truly dont know what I want...
and how I'd like to go about with it.

It's not a very attractive feeling to have.
It's not a feeling he'd want me to feel either.
But I can't help feeling it...
With every word he says...
*sigh*

It makes me feel so helpless.
I dont know what to do to make myself feel better,
and I dont know how to tell him to stop inflicting this on me.
I feel so weak...
So tempted to listen to the worst side of me,
and give up.
Telling myself,
"I dont need this."

*sigh*

Yes.
It is jealousy.
Thats what Im feeling.

.my love language.

Got this off James' blog.
I thought it could be useful to find out what I see as the most important factor when Im in a relationship.

My results:

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Physical Touch
with a secondary love language being
Words of Affirmation.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch:		11
Words of Affirmation:		7
Acts of Service:		6
Quality Time:		5
Receiving Gifts:		1

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

^^
Nowonder the relationships I get into can never survive Long Distance.

."can i help you with anything else?".

I felt something odd while I was working tonite.

Like all Sundays,
It was a busy night.
And almost towards the end of my shift,
A bunch of young people (about my age) came to buy gelato.

While they were busy ordering,
I carried a dessert crepe out to one of the tables.
As I was making my way back,
One girl (from the bunch) stopped me and said:
"can u clean those tables?"

And of course,
I replied, "Sure."

But it was at that moment when I really felt like a worker.
As in... u knoww.... a worker.

sigh.
I cant put in words how I felt.
It just felt weird.

Its like,
when you go to a restaurant,
You dont really think of the person who carries your food or takes your plates away.
Cuz they're just... Not important.
Close to non-existence, until u need something.

Its like...
You're treated like u're nobody.
You're just someone to clean messes.
Someone who doesn't matter...

ok ok...
I guess you can say I felt like a maid.
Hmm...
Thats stretching it a bit,
But it's something like that.

I KNOW thats my job.
Im not complaining.
I'm just saying...
After working there for so long,
For the first time...
I actually felt like a... nobody.

"Clean my table."
"Take this away."

Hmm...
Maybe it's becuz they were having lots of fun,
and I was jealous.
HAHAA...

But yea,
I just thought I'd write this down,
Becuz I didn't know that all this while...
I've always seen myself as "the girl who serves gelato."
Not one who gets ordered by random people to do/clean/fix things.
(my boss is not counted)

Hmmm...
Its okie if you think I'm being paranoid,
Or that I sound like a spoilt brat,
I'm just trying to share this feeling.

.beautiful music.

My current favourite song: I Sing For You
Performed by: Daniel Letterle
OST: Camp (2003)

I sing for you and only you
Wherever I go I find you
You’re in the sound of every hello
In everything I do
You’re the song I was destined to know
And I only sing for you

You went away. I should have known
You leave so many dreams behind you
Thought I’d be fine just being alone
I didn’t have a clue
But my heart had a mind of its own
And would only sing for you

You’re in the sound of the rain
Clouds in a winter sky
In a thousand unsaid words
In a thousand crazy reasons why
You were meant to fly

So fly for me and day by day
I’ll keep hoping your heart reminds you
Nothing but love can stand in our way
But love can see us through
Maybe that’s all I wanted to say
I will always sing for you
I will always sing for you

*sigh*
a very simple,
but very beautiful song...

.my DVD marathon.

Yesterday,
I went to bed at 8am.
I was up watching DVDs.
I managed to watch 3 in total.

All 3 were great.

One of them,
"Head over heels"
Starring Freddie Prinze Jr and Monica Potter,
That one I've actually watched before...
But I borrowed it from Blockbuster again cuz I saw the DVD on Big W's catalouge,
and its on sale!!
I've decided to get it.
HAHA...

Then I watched "Camp".
This movie was different.
BUT I kinda enjoyed it..
Maybe its becuz of the music.

I totally fell for Daniel Letterle when he started singing a song called
"I sing for you"...
He's no professional singer,
But the simplicity of the song bought my heart.
aaand...
Maybe it sounded extra good becuz of him.
*ehem ehem*
U knoww...
Its a gurl thing. ^^



THEN I watched "The Cutting Edge: Going for the Gold"
This was a sequel from 'The Cutting Edge'.
I've never watched the first one,
But I know it was about the parents of the girl in this 2nd one.

And the sweet bit was,
They actually casted the original parents.

I loved this movie the most among the 3.
It was great...
Loveddd the love story.
Loved the characters...
Loved the guy. HAHA...





Tip to directors:
A charming leading man can never go wrong!!