October 11, 2006

.what i dont wanna feel.

I know I want to write something...
But I can't seem to put it in words.
This feeling...
Its really confusing.
And embarrassing.
And I truly dont know what I want...
and how I'd like to go about with it.

It's not a very attractive feeling to have.
It's not a feeling he'd want me to feel either.
But I can't help feeling it...
With every word he says...


It makes me feel so helpless.
I dont know what to do to make myself feel better,
and I dont know how to tell him to stop inflicting this on me.
I feel so weak...
So tempted to listen to the worst side of me,
and give up.

Telling myself,
"I dont need this."


It is jealousy.
Thats what Im feeling.

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