October 9, 2006

."can i help you with anything else?".

I felt something odd while I was working tonite.

Like all Sundays,
It was a busy night.
And almost towards the end of my shift,
A bunch of young people (about my age) came to buy gelato.

While they were busy ordering,
I carried a dessert crepe out to one of the tables.
As I was making my way back,
One girl (from the bunch) stopped me and said:
"can u clean those tables?"

And of course,
I replied, "Sure."

But it was at that moment when I really felt like a worker.
As in... u knoww.... a worker.

I cant put in words how I felt.
It just felt weird.

Its like,
when you go to a restaurant,
You dont really think of the person who carries your food or takes your plates away.

Cuz they're just... Not important.
Close to non-existence, until u need something.

Its like...
You're treated like u're nobody.
You're just someone to clean messes.
Someone who doesn't matter...

ok ok...
I guess you can say I felt like a maid.
Thats stretching it a bit,
But it's something like that.

I KNOW thats my job.
Im not complaining.

I'm just saying...
After working there for so long,
For the first time...
I actually felt like a... nobody.

"Clean my table."
"Take this away."

Maybe it's becuz they were having lots of fun,
and I was jealous.

But yea,
I just thought I'd write this down,
Becuz I didn't know that all this while...
I've always seen myself as "the girl who serves gelato."
Not one who gets ordered by random people to do/clean/fix things.
(my boss is not counted)

Its okie if you think I'm being paranoid,
Or that I sound like a spoilt brat,

I'm just trying to share this feeling.

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