December 28, 2005

Down in the Pits

Before I start complaining about my day,
let me start this new entry by updating u guys on what happened on Xmas Eve.
Shaz made it afterall.
And truth to be told,
I was really impressed with him that night.
He sat right next to dad at the dining table,
Managed to carry a conversation with adults,
Not appear nervous one bit,
and was actually very sophisticated and polite.

*double thumbs up Shaz*
and a big kiss.

Although my parents didnt say much after,
I know they know he's a good guy.
Their only holdback is... well... simply becuz he's not chinese.

Amazing how talking about Shaz actually brightened up my day a little.
I've been really touchy.
Especially today.
Emotional and all.
I think its PMS.
Really. Its not an excuse.
You know...
It really bugs me how PMS makes me this way.
Its like...
During this period,
All my inner thoughts break loose...
Everything that I felt was "no biggie" suddenly becomes an excuse for me to blow my top.
Lose my cool.
I feel so foolish!

And you know what I realised?
At this very moment,
I wish Shaz was with me.
Don't know why but lately, I miss him alot.
I've been seeing him more than usual these few days,
But it only makes me miss him more.
Somehow it feels as if I've been away from him for far too long.
And after Jan,
I've got this big thing happening.
I wont be seeing Shaz for a month straight.
And that thought just burns a hole in my heart...

I swore I'd never let myself get so attached.
Now I find myself running to him as soon as danger strikes.
I'm turning into a needy loser...
aaH maNnn...
But Sherlene has never been NEEDY.

Maybe this is all just PMS talk.

Don't get me wrong,
Shaz is really important to me...
And when I tell him I love him...
I really mean it.
But I'm just not needy.
I'm not clingy either.
But now,
like... at this very moment,

No comments: