.telling myself i dont care.

its 15 minutes past 12am on the 28th march 2009. 

sherlene, do not text him. 

DO NOT.

p.s join the Earth Hour! turn off your lights for an hour at 8.30pm tonight! :)

.good news all around.

news news and news all day today. some good, some great. :)

woke up to an sms from starshots glamour photography. thanks to sheena who entered me into a competition, (i don't know when) apparently i won a photoshoot package! haha thanks babe! sheena was really excited because she had done it before, and can't wait to share the experience with me. lol not to mention her cute photographer. we'll see when i decide to 'book in'. lol funny, as cam-whorish as i am, i dont know if i can do it... i feel fat.

ANYWAY

'he' gave me some awesome news today too!! the 'problem' he was having might have found a solution!! we'll find out for sure on saturday, but its looking good now! i cant wait till he settles into his vacation-life and really start having fun without these worries. :) *fingers crossed*

NEXT

i vacuumed my room today. finally!! :) you should've seen the fur ball gathered in the tube thingie. whoa. i should've taken a picture, but i didn't want to make u cringe. so... yea. nvm.

im sure there were other great news that i received today, otherwise i wouldn't be feeling this relaxed. hmm. oh wells. maybe im happy enough just with his news. woohoo! we'll see whats next for us after this. how i see it, it could go both ways. good or really bad. again, we'll see.

although he did say...
"now i'll get to see you more."

we'll see.

alritey. ta!

.the bad bugs got me!.

i just got off the phone with him. 1.5 hours on the phone. i feel my ear burning. (why didn't i switch ears?!) ANYWAY... here's some news: im falling sick. :( dammit.

and 2 others things i was gonna say before i shower (then hit the sack for much needed rest) :

x. my assistant manager pointed out to me and my colleagues about the "look" i get in "my eyes" when i serve customers, especially male ones... she says, "its like she's sending out electric waves"... lol she said it was cute, but we all know what was really on everyone's mind. "she's flirting." its so embarrassing when everyone's taking notice now. heHe... :)

x. i thought i saw M-L on the bus today. my heart sunk and i felt a heavy thump in the pit of my stomach. when i eventually got over it, i felt annoyed at myself. i cant believe he still affects me. dammit.

ok. goodnight people. stay healthy and away from the bad bugs. i know they're out there! they've found me! :(

im falling ssssiiiccckkkkk.... daaaaammmmiiiitttt.

p.s. 
25th march - happy birthdays to melissa and jimmy!
26th march - happy birthday mouzam!! :)

.happy in limbo.

woke up late in the arvo today and thought of him. 

we were both in separate social environments last night, and as we've agreed, we'd keep our minds open about meeting other people because that seems to be the only way for us to really move on. so naturally, i was curious as to whether something happened.

we spent 40 minutes on the phone, and came to one conclusion.

despite breaking up a month ago, we're still growing... closer... together. and as a couple. meeting other people felt like cheating. the thought that's constantly in our minds when we're close to letting someone else in is "is this person worth giving up what i have?"... and last night, separately, we both didn't feel it was. :)

here, you weigh it out: 

.a one night hormonal make out session vs  a real connection.

so he said, "i think we need to have another talk about us." [sounds like a line that i, as the girl, should be saying, hey?] but i'm happy. i'm really happy about everything that has happened today.

i'm happy with his words, my feelings, and to top it all off, i called my parents and they sound beyond happy holidaying in hong kong/china at the moment. listening to mum and dad's laughs completed my day. its truly the best feeling in the world. :)

.personal views, opinions and discoveries.

- somehow, guys wearing coloured contact lense look wrong. maybe its cause it sorta puts an emphasis on 'vanity', and everyone knows vanity is suppose to be a girl thing.

- tall people should have their own sections at standing concerts. either that, or ban them alltogether. sorry, but they shit on your supposedly nice concert experience. [below: my view during 9/10 of the fray's performance!]

- secondhand serenade sounds awesome live! the lead singer really puts his heart into every song. me likey.

- the lead singer of 'the fray' is not cute. sorry wynna.

- apparently i have a "type" when it comes to men. sheen and i picked out a guy each at a club as a 'game', and i realised i always choose the ones who are an outright ladies' man who acts like my ex bf, jimmy. (no offence intended) confident and surrounded by women he loves showering with equal physical affection. im describing the guy at the club, not jimmy. but u know.

ANYWAY...

its 6am. the sky is light-blue-ing. i should dry my hair and hit the sack. i need rest! and my feet are killing me! ta!

.guys, him, concerts and parties.

yes, i have a new celebrity crush. his name is victor webster. not so much of a glamorous name, i think. but hey, the package looks pretty hot. :) he caught my eye on an episode of sex and the city, season 6, first episode. i've been lust-struck since. lucky samantha jones. she always snag the hot ones.

no, she's not my aspiration. just thought i'd make that clear.

nwayz, wynna and i will be at the tivoli watching 'the fray' in concert tomorrow nite! 'secondhand serenade' will also be performing. should be interesting. :) will keep u posted!

was talking to 'him' on the phone earlier. he's been stressing the whole day about jimmy's casino themed birthday party because he's in charge of the food. he's worried his 'french styled' finger food won't suit the guests. *hugs to him* im sure either way, it would be a blast. afterall, he's awesome. :)

anyway, he suggested that maybe for my concert, i should dress up all rock-chick like. black make up and all. hmm. could be fun, hey? will definitely consider how much effort it would take before i decide though. lol. we'll see.

hmm. wish i could make it to jimmy's party tomorrow night. i wanna see 'me babe' in a suit. :) although he's got waiter-ing duties, im sure he'd still look hot. :) i miss him heaps. we were on the phone earlier, and it took us almost 10 goodbyes to actually hang up. made me think of shayne ward's song. alritey, i'll leave you on that note :) -

p.s - if johno is reading this, again i'm sorry for missing your party tomorrow nite too! hope it'd still be a blast! if you guys go out after, i might be around the valley with friends... (mouzam is taking me out to celebrate his graduation after my concert!)

congratz for graduating mouzam baby!!! :)

.blessing or curse in disguise?.

currently...

... i've got a man in my life who makes me laugh and smile, who hugs me until i feel better or stop crying, who sits around and lets me talk or vent about anything and everything, who talks things out with me when we hate each other's guts, who patiently teaches me how to swim with my head above water and tells me i'm doing an awesome job when i'm holding on to him for dear life most of the time, who watches chick flicks with me and tells me we'll take salsa lessons together someday, who cooks me lunch and tries unfailingly to feed me vegetables, who prepares me a bubble bath and feeds me muffin at the same time, who makes the extra effort to make my friends like him because he knows it means a lot to me, who kisses my forehead at every chance he gets, who excitedly introduces me to his friends and then gushes to them about how great i am and how proud he is to have me by his side, who sits in the kitchen for an hour teaching me his language by making me read french cook books, who looks at me when i'm not aware then randomly points out silly little things i do that makes him smile, who tells me every time he sees me that i'm pretty, who spends half an hour helping me financial plan my expenses because i wanted to buy a bag i didn't need, who holds my hands when he knows i need support,  who tells me he wants to be the best in everything for me... oh, i could go on.

but this man, like every good thing in life, isn't permanent. (and not gay either.)

so the real question now is, how do i make sure i'm able to let all of this go?

p.s while i'm at this, i also wanna share with you another thing i learnt about french people... check out their keyboards - *yikes!*

.it was so worth it.

2 months since him and i first met. we spent the whole 17th and 18th celebrating down the coast, and had the best time ever.

i feel so relaxed... and sooo blooody satisfied right now. :)