April 22, 2008

.wanting what i thought is normal.

sheena and i had a talk about relationships last nite. hmm... what truly upsetted me was how somehow, in the midst of all my mindless fooleries with past romantic entanglements, i didnt know the world was changing - for the worse.

i was certain that when i was ready to put my feet on the ground and be serious, i would be warmly welcomed back into the world of normal people with normal relationships. i couldnt be more wrong.

normal relationships:

relationships where a guy and a girl likes each other, wants to be with each other and each other only. relationships where although they know there's other people out there, they know they dont want to look any further, becuz they've found what they wanted in each other. relationships where two people can walk on the streets, hand in hand, sharing an ice cream, laughing in the comfort of each other's company, proudly showing off to the world the gem they've found and is so fortunate to own, while at the same time, being terrified of losing. relationships where the word "together" is never afraid to be used, and the only attention they care about keeping is each other's. To be seen as a picture in a beautiful frame that everyone envies and love/hate to look at.

i'd love to be in a relationship where i can call him my boyfriend, and not doubt that he calls me his girlfriend too. i'd love to know that i'm with a guy who doesn't have one foot out the door every time things turn a little sour. i wanna trust him and believe that he wouldn't do anything deliberately to hurt me. i wanna know that he wants to be there with me, and i can be myself, and that is what he cant get enough of.

in the past, that may have been what people call "hard to find" - although i've seen many people find it... but now, it's almost impossible - and there's almost no new relationships that i know that comes close to what i've described. everyone has turned into what i've just grown out of.

what happened? :(

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i am greedy i want a better one but at e same time i dont wan let go the current one. :D :D :D :D :P :P