February 25, 2009

.need to look after myself.

today of all days, i wish i still had my babe in my life. 

this whole cold turkey method him and i had agreed on is making me feel so empty. we've decided to wait 2 weeks before getting in touch again, just so feelings can be "cooled" a little. sigh. and then we'll try the 'friend' thing. plausible, huh? u tell me.

im determined not to miss him the entire 2 weeks... a few days, okay. granted. but maybe after tomorrow, i'll do the whole "chin up" routine and really put all this behind. ['after tomorrow', haha] - time to go back to being single and fabulous. :)

anyway, a lesson to all (including, i mean especially myself)... if you have cut someone out of your life for a good reason, dont bother with "second chances"... because even if it may seem like the right thing to do, you know that when shit hits the fan, you'd only be left beating yourself up and telling yourself "i told u so" - because its true, u did know better. (until u decided to be hopeful and accepting) and u know what? most of the time, its not worth it.

but if you have to be nice though, do the hypocritical thing. smile, talk about the weather [NEVER about your feelings], talk about them [NEVER about yourself], then say goodbye and leave it as that. win-win, no?

and an extra tip: you'd think humans would usually try their best to be considerate of other's feelings...? don't kid yourself. u've not met the lot. some, despite what u think, really dont give a rat's ass about what's right or wrong, or what may hurt you or even kill you. so don't be too trusting.

but at the end of the day, yes, lesson learnt. definitely.

p/s: new friends come along in the oddest situations. but i'm very much grateful for it. she knows who she is. :)

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