March 6, 2006

New World? or Back to the Old World?

What usually happens after a Break Up?

- His profile now says "Single" instead of "In a Rship".
- Photos of u and him are deleted.
- He calls you by your first name.
- When a phone convo ends, the last word, or the only word u say is "bye".
- When you're depressed, u don't call him anymore. Despite him being the first person u think of calling.
- You can't ask him to come over whenever you like.
- You have no control over his life.
- He doesn't have to listen to you anymore.
- His problems, those that he usually share with you are kept to himself.
- You cry, and he's not around to comfort you.
- Your MP3 player is loaded with sad love songs instead of happy ones.
- etc.

I know these are all typical things.
Things that occur when two people are no longer a couple.
But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, rite?
Because I'm seriously feeling dreadful...
When I saw his profile just now,
I felt pieces of my heart, plummeting to the pit of my stomach.

Now I really understand the feeling of wanting to hide away from the world.
To stay in your room,
Lock yourself up,
Not wanting to deal with your normal life,
Because life isn't NORMAL anymore.

What I meant by that is...
If you walk out into the world now,
It would feel different.
Because life no longer has him in it.
And that thought truly kills a part of me.

My life before I had Shaz and after was very different.
Best way to show you...
Take a look at these pics.

Pic taken: 1st Semester Exam Period 2005

Pic Taken: 2nd Semester Exam Period 2005

I know...
I'm friggin' Pathetic.
I really am.

When will I be ready to face the world again?
Someone please, tell me.


Anonymous said...

*hugs* it's just matter of time.

Anonymous said...

hey S, i understand exactly wat u're feeling now...cos i myself went thru it not so long ago...everything just seems so different, like something is missing in yr life yeah? It's all the little things, like phone calls, smses, holding hands, hugs, somebody to confide in and go out wif etc...such emptiness all of a sudden.

It's gonna take time, and yes, it will be tough for sure, but trust me, u'll be fine in the end. go ahead and grieve, its only normal, but give yrself some time and after tat u'll know when u can finally let go. Honestly, u will.