November 11, 2008

."stop touching meeeeee" - aczhmed the dead terrorist [ventriloquist]: argh! check youtube!.

alcohol plays with your mind? yea, it does. i noticed how it puts me in this major 'self-reflecting' mood. not sure if i like it.

anyhoo... for the past few weeks, i kinda noticed something about myself. this is gonna sound weird, but... well... somehow, i sorta feel like i've been very... sensitive?... to touch?.... from the opposite sex? - and by sensitive, i meant the "hands off!" type of sensitive, and im not referring to sexual touches.

coming from me, its weird, i know; ms.lets-get-physical. if u know me, i like walking arm in arm with my guy friends, and im always physical when talking or etc. so it got me thinking, is it the guy? or the touch?

sadly, i then realize i feel the same way about almost all the guys who comes in physical contact with me. [i say almost because not all my male friends are touchy] so... the odd one gots to be me, yea? hmm.

but why am i feeling this way? im yet to find a reason... :( [i considered the possibility of turning lesbo, but after performing some "tests", i confirm that its not]

anyway... to add to the above, i noticed that its becoming a habit/pattern for me to laugh off situations, or more like, "potential moments" with the opposite sex too.

u know how moments happen rite? ie: we both lock eye contact for a few seconds too long, or he says something that makes me feel "aww" and then we both look at each other, or he simply comes to close you can feel his breath on your cheeks... etc etc.

but yea, point is, i tend to laugh them off before anything happens, OR if i catch it soon enough, i'd move away to ensure it doesnt happen... its like im resisting it! actively forcing things to not happen!

im thinkin, perhaps its because i dont have those type of feelings for those guys? but in the past, feelings or not, i liked to play with the idea of sharing moments with another individual! i liked stuffing question marks in their heads and making them confused and curious!! [bitch, i know] but yea...

whats happening to me? is it true that maybe its cuz my mojo is gone? likeee... sherlene lee is officially quitting the flirt-your-way-to-fun-and-excitement business?!.... sigh. maybe this is just a phase that'd soon pass. or... is this the new me, finally on the right side of the tracks?


ps: midori + lemonade... my new poison. :)

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