March 6, 2009

.thoughts on the bus.

was on the bus, on my way home and listening to my mp3 player. pretty typical, but i found myself thinking about something quite unusual...

i thought back of all the guys i dated (not like there're many *cough*), and imagined how my life would be like if i was still with them... 

i thought of the things we use to laugh about, and tried imagining myself still laughing at those jokes years later... some, i saw myself smiling. some, i yawned.

i thought of how my cousin, melissa was massaging her husband's head earlier tonight because he had a headache, and asked myself whether i would willingly do those things for anyone of my exes (assuming they were still my boyfriend at the time) in the middle of a social scene, in the midst of yapping away with my friends.

i thought of how i'd feel when the relationship turns serious and i'd finally allow myself to lean on him for love and support. would he be able to handle it? would he do enough to keep me feeling content with him?

in my mind, some exes crashed and burned. some, meh. bottom line though, i'm glad i (or we) made the choices that we did... because really, it truly truly wouldn't have worked. at least we're smart enough to not waste too much time forcing things. hah. don't get me wrong though, most of my exes are nice people.. some incredible. :) i hope they know who they are.

and yes, i know i have a part to play too.. but these are my imaginations, so i get the liberty to think of whatever aspect of my imaginary relationships as i wish. so beat it with the "do youuuu think you'd be good enough for him?!" questions cuz i'd think of that in my own time, thank you very much.


anyway, i drove to the gold coast yesterday. yes, in derek's words... i totally caved. i had a good day with him though. great, in fact. :) and thats all i'll say for now.


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