March 28, 2009

.more than just earth hour.

earth hour passed without any effort to fill the void that was left by the darkness. 

all it took were 4 sms-es to make the hour flash right by me. sms-es that had either made my earth hour truly memorable... or painful.

why issit that when it comes to M-L, i always have to choose?

why do i feel opportunities only crepe up between us when i have someone else in my mind/hand/heart? is it just bad timing? or a star-crossed-lovers type of crap fate? or could it simply be a 'higher power' trying to test me by forcing me to choose between two things i want? (and just coincidentally, both times he was one of the choices - and both times... i had to give him up!)

argh! why do i always let this person mess me up? i was satisfied and content. i mean, i AM satisfied and content. but why do i seem to feel less since this person came back into my life? he isn't even 'back in my life'. he just took a sneak peek and i'm already a mess.

"btw u single?"

why did he have to ask me that?! :( now my mind is doing mental flip-flops! i didnt answer him... but my mind is screaming "what did he want?!"

edit: after giving it alot of thought, i've decided that all he wanted was to scout me out for a friend or something. he had mentioned introducing me to his friends before. so yea, i've decided that thats all he wanted. he wanted to give me to a friend. there. case closed. i'm at no loss.

im always telling people to clear past craps before moving on to someone new. well, now it looks like i need to take a lesson from my own books. but how am i gonna rid him? :(

i know im really unworthy now and have no rights to say this...
but i hope this is just a little bump in the road for my frenchie and i.
i just spoke with him and we're seeing each other on tuesday.
that will make things better. 

it will.

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