.time to live out of my dreams.

i need to put an end (for the 192719th time) to this M-L phase... 

although this morning, i actually spent god knows how long living in a dream where him and i were together. (yes, i mean i actually had a dream about him. meaning [in my defense] it was involuntary and subconscious and yarda yarda yarda.)

i dreamt he took my hand under a table in a restaurant where we were having lunch. his touch felt so real. then as i got up to leave, he pulled me into a long and warm embrace.  the odd thing though is when we leaned in for a kiss, he turned away at the last moment with a really sad expression on his face. like he just suddenly changed his mind. he looked somewhat lost or confused... a look i've seen on his face once before (in real life - about a year ago now) when he said something unexpectedly... vulnerable to me... *trying to stop my flashbacks*

To dream that you are holding hands with someone, 

represents your connection with that person. 

Your dream may also reflect anxieties about losing touch with him/her or that you are drifting apart. 

the dream also had episodes that linked to taking showers. both him and i. in my bathroom in my old room in malaysia. SEPARATELY, mind you.

To dream that you are taking a shower in clear, fresh water, 

denotes spiritual or physical renewal or the need to wash a burden out of your life. 

It is also symbolic of forgiveness.

okay. 

time to pack up these mind games/confusions and come back to the real world. because right now, i have someone great in my life. and i will not ruin what i have in my hands for some fantasy that lives more in my head.

my heart should be smarter than that.

p.s. portugal didn't qualify for the world cup 2010? :( nooooo............................