May 7, 2009

.to love and support... but to what extent?.

i had another random thought while watching dharma & greg -

as a couple, you try your best to support your other half in the things they do and believe in. but have you ever been caught in a situation where you some-what (not entirely) disagree with something, but have to stick it out and stand beside them because you're suppose to? as a couple?

here here, im not talking about doing things that are against the law. im talking about the little day to day things. like things you would've... done differently? or thought differently? or even just behaved differently?

for example - your boyfriend wants to complain about a bad service. you think he really should just let it go. but he's adamant in making a point to the persons in charge. do you go with him? and when you feel you could say something to help, would you say something? (and risk... perhaps, feeling embarrassed in public? because its not your usual way.)

OR... on a different note, what if your partner is a little bit like dharma? u know, very... umm... out there? or eccentric, as they call it? see, you probably find him/her cute when he/she acts that way when you're alone with each other, but how do you react when they do it in public?

#. do you react your normal way by laughing and perhaps telling people "thats why i love her" despite people thinking your partner is a little nuts? (because that's love? *rolleyes*

#. do you hide your face and pray no one familiar is watching? then quickly try to stop them or pull them away to somewhere more quiet and secretly hope it'll never happens again?

#. do you just stand around with other people, agreeing that your partner is a little crazy and saying things like, "this is one thing i'm still praying she/he'll change."

#. do you get mad at them and then threaten/warn them with "don't ever do that again or i'll...!" type of lines, making sure they never embarrass you like that again?

cuz yea... it just made me think, whoa. how far would i go to be this supportive figure

other random examples: he wants to return a shirt that he has already worn because he thinks it doesn't feel right; OR he wants a free meal because the waitress was very rude; OR he wants to complain about not having enough lettuce in his mcdonald burger; OR wants to argue with someone because he feels he should be offered a seat on a full bus; OR he wants to sing on stage at a corporate function when you know he's a lousy singer (but he thinks he's good); OR she gets on a table to perform a stiptease when she's got quite a huge not-so-sexy belly and/or can never shake to the beat...

yes, in my years of dating different men, i have found myself in situations somewhat similar to the above, feeling very VERY uncomfortable, but still sticking it out to protect/support him. but at the same time, i also remember telling myself -

"well sherlene, lets pray you'll find yourself settling with someone that won't go too far off tandem with your own way, beliefs and outlooks in life."

p.s. yes, sheena has outlined to me the possibility that I could've placed my partner in the same type of situation before, where he had to stick it out for me. (i know im super opinionated and weird and dramatic...) - thank you, by the way. :)

but the question is, what do you do?

when are you allowed to say something without sounding like you're disapproving or embarrassed or unsupportive of them?
without making it sound like you're abandoning them to face this cruel and judgmental world all by themselves?

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