October 27, 2005

Shadows of the Past...

I'm never usually the type who gets caught up in the whole messy issue of "Exes".
Meaning, my boyfriends Exes.
"The Girl before You"... U know?
Like the last guy I dated,
I knew who his ex was...
And I knew she was prettier and sexier,
But it never once bugged me.
My other exes never gave me those probs.
Some didn't even have exes.

But this time...
I don't know.
As in, with Shaz.
Probably becuz of how things ended between him and his ex.
In fact,
I'm not even sure if "ended" is the right word to use.

The thing is,
I know how things came to an end between them...
And I know how terribly depressed Shaz was.
And I know how much she meant to him.
He says she's his world.

Until today, when the topic comes up,
He still tells me how sucky it feels...
and how the experience scarred him for life.
And back when Shaz and I were still friends,
He told me many things about him and his ex.
About how things were perfect,
And how suddenly things changed between them,
(against their will)
and how crushed he was and hopeless the felt.

Today Shaz told me he dreamt about her.
He said he dreamt she came back and wanted to get back together.
Shaz said he told her he couldn't.
Because he's with someone else now.
Me.

I should probably be feeling all "awww"...
But...
It got me thinking.
If one day, she does come back,
And Shaz and her really had the chance to get back together,
and Me, knowing they were so perfect before...
Would the right thing to do be... "walking away"?

But from what I know,
The chance of that happening could be slim.
But...
I still can't help thinking.
What if she does re-appear?
I'm not saying they get back together,
But merely re-appearing and re-entering his life?
Back in the picture. Lets say, as friends.
(If thats even possible)
What effect would that have on Shaz? on Us?

On my end,
Shaz has nothing to worry about.
My record is as clean as ever...
There's no "ex" that I've ever thought of getting back with.
Just not my style.
But Shaz likes playing around with the idea of being my 2nd fiddle.
After Cristiano Ronaldo. hahHaa... Yea rite.

But I'd say,
The real question playing in my mind really is,
"Am I the 2nd Fiddle?"

1 comment:

Ah_Mike said...

If you trust him, then you shouldn't be worrying about it at all ;)